What is Interracial Couples
This community is focused on the unique challenges and social issues that a relationship between people of different ethnicities can present. While marriage and relationships betwe...
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I moved to another state to marry a man. I am African American and he is Hispanic. He is 14 years older than I am. Our biggest problem is that he will not introduce me to his adult children from a previous marriage in fear of ruining his relationship with them. He claims that they will not accept me. However, he has custody of his 15 year old son. He consults with his son on everything including our relationship. When we have problems, his son knows. For example, last week I became ill with an ear infection and had to see a doctor. Out of the clear blue sky, he accused me of thinking that he may have made me ill because of the swine flu epidemic. I think he was becoming a bit paranoid being that he is Hispanic and all. I never implied or made a reference to him.
This past Thursday, he told me that he thinks we should separate because he does think that race does play a role. He said that he really loves me and all and he wanted us to be together for the remainder of our lives but he believes that their will always be a problem with culture. I guess I am thinking that after two years, I have not met his other two adult children and he believes that my color is a factor -maybe I should move on. What would you do? It is just that we connect on every level except when it comes to him discussing our relationship with his son and me not meeting his adult children. It really hurts and I thought we had a future. Posted on 05/09/09, 05:05 pm |
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So you moved to another state and he wont even introduce you to his kids? And he is also blabbing your personal business to his son? Then he brings up race out of the blue? And then he says he thinks it isnt going to work because of race?
You all may connect on other levels but I see you are sad now! This dont sound good. Im sorry but I think you need to cut your losses and try again. I dont think marriage should even be considered. Each partner needs to go beyond what anyone else says or feels no matter who they are. You need a man who will stand by you no matter what! It doesnt sound like he loves you as a person much less an AA woman. All that should have been ironed out long ago At least now you know what an interracial relationship is about. I suspect he knows too and has decided its too difficult to go on. Again Im very sorry for your situation but there are men out there that will love you for all that you are and will fight anyone for that. You should accept no less. 
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I agree with PW, I think you should move on and next time try developing a relationship with someone you are actualy with and not someone who lives out of state and wants to keep so many secrets.
I guess I'm having trouble seeing how you can "connect" so well wiht such huge problems right there 24/7. This guy is older and there are cultural differences that seem like they are never going to go away and that whole thing of his son needing to know everything is way out of bounds IMO.
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