Interfaith Relationships Support Group

Did you ever step back and think why this is happening to you? Perhaps, your relationship is being tested for a reason. If you two can survive this, then you are meant to be.

I think that the best thing would be to talk to him about it. Not only does it show a remarkable amount of trust on your behalf, but he can help you in finding a solution.

I've been through immigration and I can understand how stressful it can be. Have you gone in to talk to anyone in immigration? They are normally very helpful in there. They are the ones that can tell you what your options are and what you can do to stay in the country. Mostly, they would rather you stay in the country legally rather than being there illegally.

It's sad that they don't recognize de facto relationships there. :o(

Your story sounds like what will happen to me if I confess or more like if my bf comes and asks for my hand in marriage.

Just know this, the deed is done. You have already braved through the hard part and told them of your intentions. What you do next is to prove how strong you are for yourself, not for them. Life isn't perfect, and no one gets everything they wish for, and I understand a lot what is it like trying to chose between family and the person you wish to start a family with.

I admire that you are worried to tell him because you do not want to be forced to marry him, or him to marry you however you choose to look at it. However, you should still talk it out with him, as if there are other solutions for you, such as obtaining a work permit, or leaving the country and coming back or whatever it may be, you will need to work on it together.

Marriage is usually seen as an acceptable compromise, especially from family. In many faiths, most problems or relationships can be mended or accepted, if the couple in question get married, making the situation socially ok. Basically, in their eyes, you cant sever a relationship with your family just to "have fun" with a guy, which is why most people are telling you he will marry you if he loves you.

You on the other hand, want freedom of the faith you were raised with, which comes at a much higher price. I struggle with how you feel on a daily basis, scared to death of my family shunning me. I am fairly independent for a woman of my society, and have a career, but am caught between being disowned and probably staying an old maid lol. Ok not funny.

I do wish you find all the happiness you dreamed of. Do talk to your man, as no matter how independent you are, the point of family is to fall back on each other when things get tough. There is no need to wait for marriage to trust and help each other. It is not a contract that binds a man to help his wife.

Take your time. You are young and i dont believe that there is such a thing as the only love and only one. Follow your own beliefs, not your family's, not your bf's.

1 John says "God is Love and whoever lives in love lives in God, and whoever says they love God, while hating their neighbor is a liar'.

I don't know what country you come from, or what country you are presently in. I don't know the man or your parents, or you, so it's hard to take a 'side'. As a rule the most compatible partners are partners from your own culture. Getting to meet and be with someone in another culture and dating does not always mean that in daily living in an intimate relationship that things would go smoothly, especially if there are disagreements about values, practices, etc.
My mom and dad met when both were away from their own homes and got married and lived miserably ever after, and I was the firstborn who was in the middle of all the arguments about how to do this or that, and which was bettter, etc. I survived and had to figure things out for myself ultimately.
I would never turn my back on my child, though I would be firm about some things. If you are an adult I would share my experience and wisdom and realize you have the right to make your own decisions whether they are wise in my eyes or not. I also married outside both of the cultures I was born into, and learned how hard it is when those people did not understand me and I felt like an outsider a lot. A marriage is not just about the two people, but about the two extended families and the culture of where they live, neighbors, etc.
You might well discuss these things in general with your bf, not so much about that your parents are angry, but about what you two will do about many of the cultural and social differences that are more than simply that he is not Christian and you are.