Insomnia Support Group

What makes you think you will die from heart failure? Do you have heart related conditions or is it you think due to lack of sleep that your heart will give out? Given your age, I think it's very unlikely you will die from insomnia....or lack of sleep. I know many people (myself included) who have lived on little to no sleep for a long time---YEARS even! However, if you have heart conditions, I'd encourage you to get them treated (I have high BP and I have to take a Rx to treat it). Although my insomnia is not related to my high BP, it 's still important to treat it and take care oneself.

I am sorry to hear that the medications you've tried have been ineffective. Are you aware of the difference between an arrousal drive and our sleep drive? When people can't sleep, their arrousal drive is so high that the sleep drive can't over come it. By taking sleep medication, the hope is that the with Rx assistance, the sleep drive will overcome arrousal but this doesn't always happen----even with medication! Those with high anxiety/stress levels tend to have higher arrousal (awake levels). Do you have anxiety or stress? If so, have you tried to reduce it? Given what you've described, it sounds like you've been dealing with this a long time. Have you ever seen a sleep specialist/pulmonary physician or psychiatrist about your sleep problems?

I would really encourage you to look into www.cbtforinsomnia.com. I think the information costs like $25 but it's good information and provides excellent directions for cbt= cognitive behavior therapy. This is another great link talking about CBT http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/i...

Hope this helps,
~Brook

I don't know how to explain it...... sometimes i can just feel my heart having trouble doing it's job, and sometimes i black out when it gets really bad. I told my last doctor about it several times, but it usually only happens at night when i am most anxious about trying to sleep. i have a poor diet and i never expescise anymore because i almost never have the (strength, energy, motivation, will, peace of mind) to stand or move,a nd i don't really care what i eat, as long as i don't have to deal with trying to do anything more difficult than absolutely necessary. I stopped caring if i wake up alive quite a long time ago, so maintaining a healthy lifestyle is of no importance to me. I guess that seems contrary to worrying about my heart, but the problem with feeling that my heart is bad is worrying about it. I worry about everything. If i didn't worry about the way my heart is working then i would not care if it might fail. this will sound strange, but you can think of me as feeling as if my heart has a soul.......one time i accidentally killed a plant and i felt guilty about it for 2 years because i felt like i was mean to the plant. I feel the same way about my heart.
About sleep drive... i have never heard it explained by someone, but it is certainly true of me. I can not begin to describe all of the many ways that it affects me. Take Valium for example..... most people with insomnia are able to sleep after taking 10 mg, but i have to take 50 or 60 mg for the same effect, and even that much is not always enough. It affects me in all of the same ways that it affects normal people, except for making it possible for me to sleep, because i have such a strong subconscious drive to be awake. Even when i was able to sleep 'well', i would wake up many times during the night and stay awake for relatively long periods of time, and even when i was 'asleep' i was still aware of my surroundings. To reduce my stress and anxiety, I have tried literally everything that i have ever heard of that might help. Nothing works well enough to be of any practical use. I can take drugs to reduce my anxiety, but there is always this untouchable area of consciousness that maintains the anxiety no matter what medicine or technique i try. I suffer constantly, which is why i have tried to kill my own self so many times. The only thing that has ever really genuinely made me feel better are opiates. This is why i can't understand why i am not allowed to have them from people who should understand that i should be allowed to have them. it just makes sense. I have always compared myself to a battlefield casualty with little time left to live. In less micro-modern times battlefield casualties were given morphine so that they did not have to suffer. What is the difference between someone who is probably going to die of a gunshot wound from the hand of an enemy and someone who is probably going to eventually die of a self inflicted gunshot wound? Which of the two should have more privilege than the other to live and die peacefully? Besides, maybe if i weren't constantly in such terrible pain, i would live longer.... I just don't understand the rationality of medicine.