Infidelity Support Group

Yup, understand completely. Go through this myself.

Best thing to do, is to work on building your self esteem. I use exercise to help with that and it has done wonders.

I also continue to do things that I enjoy, like reading or meeting friends out. The happier you are, the more positively you view yourself, I think.

Not everything for me is perfect, but as long as I do these things, I feel like I'm on the right path.

Take care and good luck!

Hmmmm...we all go thru it. It sucks.

It's time for Fake It 'Till You Make It advice. Sure, you may FEEL like you aren't attractive but that is all how you percieve yourself. Tell yourself you feel good, and you will have this attitude that says you ARE attractive. It's all attitude, really. Just go for it until you really do feel your confidence is returning.

Also? Make it ALL ABOUT YOU for awhile. Don't be shy about it either. Do the things that make you happy. Keep those aspects of your life that make you feel content and get rid of stuff that doesn't. Do this daily.

Sure, exercise. Eat better. Have fun. Make it a point to laugh. Let go of what you can. Build a life that makes you happy....get my drift?

Be selfish. There is nothing wrong with being selfish right now.

Take care. This will pass. Trust me...L~

Isn't it so unfair that their actions cause us to question and doubt ourselves...I HATE THAT HIS CHOICE TO NOT VALUE OUR MARRIAGE HAS CHANGED WHO I AM!!!!! I completely understand your feelings and think you have been given some great advice....I make an effort to look nice, it does help me feel a little better, especially if I knoiw I'm going to have to see him! lol...take care of you and try to constantly remind yourself that this was caused by something he is lacking not you!!!!!!

Trust No One!!!!

I totally understand. Intellectually, I know that it's his character flaw that caused him to cheat...not mine. But it's hard not to think 'why wasn't i enough?' For example, today I was at the mall and walked past the lingerie section and bought a bunch of sexy bras and stuff bc somewhere in me I'm thinking that if I look good all the time then maybe he won't cheat. I hate feeling like this. His lies and betrayal has turned me into someone I'm not. I question myself, my looks, everything about me even though I know it's him who has the problem. I check his emails and phone bills now when before I was trusting and believed him. That's all changed now. I feel like I've lost myself.

I've been exercising a lot too. I really think that helps. Talking and hanging out with friends helps too. We all need to try to remember that this is NOT on us, it's on them. They are the liars and cheats...not us. We honored our vows and they didn't. They are the ones who should be ashamed and disgraced...not us.

I know this is easier said than done but don't let him ruin the rest of your life. He's already ruined your marriage, don't let him ruin your next relationship. He will probably go through his life cheating and lying but u can go through yours knowing that you're a good and honest person. Take care and best of luck.

I talked to my husband about just the basic "why". It has nothing to do with how pretty, smart or sexy. It's how the other women make him feel. They have major drama and problems. His likes saving damsels-in-distress or to fix their problems. Makes him feel like a big man I guess. So sorry I don't need fixing or saving. And I stay as far away from drama as possible! I don't trust my judgment either, so I concentrate on myself. But it's hard to not feel like damaged goods. I feel for you. Time helps.

I don't like the person I have become. i want to take responsibility for my own actions and not be blaming him, but I don't even know this person. Dependent, feel like I have no control, fearful, broken, depressed, obsessive, mistrusting, questioning. Who is this person living in my body and what have you done with 'me.'

hurting1000- I know exactly what you mean I feel like I have let him take away the person I was and left me with all the inadequacies &mistrust I hate it!!

Seems like we all feel the same. Lets just admit it, it has destroyed who and what we are!! I have teenage boys and very much see their pain also. Not sure that I will ever feel pretty, smart, or just plain good enough. But yet, 'the piece of shit husband' of mine is getting what he thinks he wants while the family suffers. At least yesterday he admitted that he was a 'coward'! This is not the man I married nor am I the person I was before D-day.

Infidelity does this. I too feel so inadequate all the time. His affairs changed me into a completely different person. I will always wonder why I wasn't good enough. And why I thought he was!!!! I wish I knew how to get over the feelings of not being inadequate. I just don't know how to shake it.