Infidelity Support Group

As long as he responds to her, she will keep contacting him. Only he can make sure the message is clear. NO CONTACT. You need to let him know how important this is. It will drive you crazy otherwise.

Yes, your husband needs to put his foot down. The go and file a no contact order against her !

Most times that should work, if she knows she can go to jail.

Why does she have his number? Maybe it's a work number, but if there's any way to block her, then do so. If it's a new cell that's needed, then that's an easy fix.

As for his replying back, that should NOT have been done, period. He should have immediately told you that she texted him and then leave it up to you on what to do next. I'm a little worried that by not telling you of the incoming and outgoing messages, he hasn't truly removed himself from the OW, even though she's out of state.

If it were me, I'd monitor a little longer to see if there's a trend or maybe (hopefully) a really good explanation. But it better be good because I can't think of any right now.

I understand your concern. I hope for the best outcome for you.

-TheRule

The only reason she keeps contacting is because he keeps replying. If your husband health is in all that much jeopardy, then one would think he would want to get this stick in his thigh out of his life. Obviously he likes the continued attention.

Since she is in another state, it really is easy to get her out of his life- he just needs to change his phone numbers and ANY method of communication with her/him that he can think of ( such as hidden email addresses, etc).

My bottom line question however are: why did he reply and why does he continue to betray you?

nothing to add - sorry...

he has to stop replying to the texts...and change the number. quite easy. do they email each other? .that is the next question you need to ask yourself and him.

she is not going to listen to you, so don't sweat that.

Why did he not block her on his phone?

Well...I finally have some answers...with some proof behind them. Made me feel a little better, but I will probably always question anything for a very long time.

At the time when the text message came in, he didn't realize it was from her. (I know, sounds crazy) He was in the process of texting back and forth with a guy there in the stadium that was on the other side of the field...it was raining, game going on...and he responded to that text with the words of "we'll meet up with you guys after the game at the corner of..." He saved the message and showed it to me. I guess that confused her because her question to him was "Hey, what are you doing? I just got this .. back from you and I think it was for someone else." He responded back and said "leave me the F*** alone or I am going to report you for harassment."

He didn't say anything to me at the game because he didn't want me to get upset and also because our son was there with us. He didn't want to say anything later to avoid the whole argument that he thought it would cause. He apologized and said he should have said something to me. I told him as long as I KNOW and not have to find out on my own, we'd have no argument. OK...agreed.

We can't block her number...we've looked into that already. AT&T doesn't have that option anymore. Anyways...it was a text and that only worked for calls....so they tell me.

Neither of us want to change his number. It's a cell number that he's had for 10 years. We no longer live in our hometown and it's a local number that his family can call and not be long distance for them. Not to mention the hundreds of contacts that we'd have to make aware of the change. It's not an excuse....it's just not an option at the moment. Plus...I'd get really pissed if we did and after all that, she found out the number through a mutual friend or something.

He's got her blocked on Facebook, email and every other avenue...and I'm sure that is pissing her off too. It's kind of like a last ditch effort to text him and she knows that I see the bill and her number when it shows up.

UGH....really....I'd like to just kick her ass and get some of this frustration out, but I'd only mess up my manicure and it's just not worth it. (LOL) She just needs to get her own life and stay the hell out of mine!

I was in a similar situation although OW is alot younger and is married. We changed he phone no , blocked her from FB.
As far as i know she has not tried to contact him for a couple of weeks. I will be checking our phone bill though.
Good luck...thinking of you

this is happening with me as well. The problem is when he and I are going through a rough time he runs back to her for a quick fling so she keeps holding on to the idea that he'll leave me for her. I'm concerned that he didnt bring it up to you immediately. That means he isnt upholding his end of the agreement and in turn is disrespecting you. At least that's how I interpret it when my husband does this. I can tell you that I called the cell phone company and there now is a way to block phone numbers, text messages and emails from a particular person. I pay 5.00 a month but it's worth it. You have two problems. 1. she's still contacting him; if he made it clear to her this shouldnt be happening. 2. The fact that he hasnt shared it with you. I'd ask him to show me the responses he sent and explain why he felt it was necessary to do that. What I did was respond to her and let her know that he was showing me the text messages and we had no secrets. That ticked her off. Then I blocked everything.

Anyway, since we're in a similar situation I say if he hasnt shown you within 24hrs then you should bring it up and ask to see the messages. If he deletes them then I'd wonder what he's hiding.