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Discussion:
Spouse still denying affiar
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Anyone still dealing with their husband/wife not admitting they had an affair, saying nothing happened? My husband was talking to this women for months and was caught at her home last month until 330am. Admits he was talking to her on his phone several time - but says they never did anything "sexual" together. Sure you guys were just playing monopoly over there until 330am. I keep telling my husband over and over if he would just admit the affair I could start to heal, maybe even forgive him one day. I feel like the truth not coming out from him is what is making this nightmare so much harder for me.
Anyone else going through this or has in the past?
Posted on 02/20/08, 02:12 pm
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Reply #1 - 02/20/08  2:17pm
" My husband did the same thing for years. The truth was told by the OW not him. "
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Reply #2 - 02/20/08  2:22pm
" My hsuband denied it until the whore emailed me on myspace and told me everything - well her version. He finally confessed then but he still won't give me intimate details like how he was feeling - the sex - their talks. He says he does not want to "relive" it and that I do not accept his answers when he does tell me something. I told him the answers do not make sense that's why I do not believe all of them. I've come to realize I will just have to put some of those questions in the back of my mind if I want to rebuild my marriage - Not that it is easy but if I don't I'll go CRAZY!!!!!! "
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Reply #3 - 02/20/08  2:33pm
" Does he know what an emotional affair is? Maybe he is claiming that he didn't have a physical affair. I guess that's possible. It's possible to just talk until the wee hours of the morning. Obviously, there was some sort of improper connection there. So, will he admit that it was an emotional affair? "
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Reply #4 - 02/20/08  4:35pm
" I've been waiting for my wife to admit her affair for about a year now. She said nothing happen either. I caught them to geather in Dec of 2006 with him comming out of the bedroom putting his clothes on and her hiding in the bath off the bedroom. I also found some emails she sent him asking for help fixing things at our coffeeshop, she didn't sign them with her name just smooches sweetie. It seems just too painful for her to talk about. My councelor says she is probably too ashamed of it to talk about or admit it. "
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Reply #5 - 02/20/08  4:40pm
" My husband didn't admitted right away either it was that wonderful Myspace like you Tysey...When the whore started dropping hints and sending pictures my husband decided to be a grown-up and tell me what he did, not very nice either. We are still having issues about what he remembers. It's always I don't remember, so in away I feel like he hasn't sdmitted to everything yet. GOOD LUCK !! "
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Reply #6 - 02/20/08  6:40pm
" Give him a little motivation. Start distancing. Your pain is obviously not motivating him and it is drivng you crazy.

i know been there. Look on the web for emotional affairs and explain that to him. That part he cannot deny. my husband said, "I didnt know about emotional affairs"! Well, he knew enough to lie about it! No excuses! My husband now admits everything. It took about 18 months for the truth to start coming out. partly because he was drunk throughout the whole affair and needed the 12 or 13 months of sobriety, at that time, to even complete a coherent thought or sentence.

If he is still under the influence of anything, he needs sobriety first. They cannot even think after a while, after drinking and druggin for years.
good luck "
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Reply #7 - 02/20/08  7:06pm
" I found out about my wife having affairs over a year and half ago and I just can't seem to get over it. I have the facts and she has admitted to the one affair four months ago to me. But only after I confronted her about the affair. But I have the facts of more than one affair. I did not go off. I was cool and calm and I wanted to see if she would truthful to me about the others.

She refuses to talk about it, or tries to start an argument with me about any other subject. She could not even say at her own will. (I am sorry or please forgive Me. or I will not do it again.) Her actions with me do not show that she is sorry.

I canít get her to open up. I am afraid our marriage is coming to a end. Due to the fact, that I canít trust her anymore.

The bad thing about this we have children. My two step sons love the hell out of me. And I love them very much. And they need me (a strong and structured male figure) in there lives. "
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Reply #8 - 02/20/08  8:22pm
" Well for what it's worth....no one is going to 'fess up unless confronted with undeniable evidence. Why President Clinton would still be saying it didn't happen if it weren't for a blue dress with DNA evidence "
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Reply #9 - 02/21/08  9:52am
" I finally got him to admitt aliitle of the sex part. I asked him a specific question and he actually answered it without saying -- I don't remember. Even though it hurt --- I was happy he finally told me something. His was not an emotional affair ---- when it ended - it ended and he NEVER wants to mention it again ---if it was emotional then he would think about her etc. That helps me - if it was emotional then I don't think I could still be with him. "

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