Infidelity Support Group

I'm new here and just found out last Wednesday about my husband's five-month affair with a former co-worker. They had been friends for about nine months before it became physical. He hasn't told me exactly how it made the transition into a physical relationship; he says he wants to wait til we see a therapist later this week to make sure he tells me in the right way and doesn't do more "damage" as he puts it. I can respect that, because he has answered most of my other questions without hesitation.

We have had some long talks in the past few days, not only about his relationship with the OW but also what was happening in our marriage that led him to connect with her in the first place. We both want to make it work if we can so we are going to see a therapist this week.

My question is, how did you handle the physical aspect of your relationship after the affair? I asked him to move into our guest room when I found out, because I just couldn't handle him being in the same bed with me. I was finally able to give him a hug yesterday, but I have not been able to kiss him. I want to, but then I think of him kissing her and I start to cry. I think the thought of them kissing and being affectionate is more troublesome that the thought of actual sex.

How long did it take you to get over this, and was there anything you read that helped? None of the books I have skimmed deal with this part.
Posted on 02/11/08, 02:02 pm