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In Category: PCOS and Infertility
Discussion:
Silently Suffering
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Hello everyone. This is my first post to this group, but I'm hoping it will help some of my frustrations to talk to people who experience the same problems. I just found out today that our second cycle of iui was unsuccessful, so naturally I'm in an AWESOME mood (sense my sarcasm). Here's what I've been thinking in my insane grief/anger that follows finding out your are not pregnant:

Why do people with infertility have to suffer silently? I know that most friends and family try to be supportive, but people still constantly question the way you feel, and a lot of the times, you even question the way you feel i.e. feeling pissed when you find out a good friend is pregnant. If someone has cancer no one questions the way they feel about it because they assume they feel terribly about it. People with diseases that are perfectly acceptable to talk about publicly can feel however they want and no one gives them trouble about it. I on the other hand feel like I am judged all the time by those people in my personal life who have NO IDEA what I am going through and how hard this truly is to have to think about every single day! How DARE you tell me how I should feel about an unfortunate situation that you know NOTHING about!

Thanks for letting me rant, if there are others who share in this frustration LET IT OUT TOO! I support you one hundred percent and ANY insane feelings you have about your childless situation!
Posted on 08/22/11, 08:14 pm
28 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Reply
Reminder: This is a support group for Infertility. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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Reply #21 - 05/15/12  7:17pm
" I totally understand! I get it a lot. I was at baby shower recently (which I whined about going on here). I got the "see this is why you should get pregnant so we can have another shower". Or "when are you guys getting pregnant". It annoys me because if I could just get pregnant I would have already had a child in the last 3 years since I stopped taking BCP. My mother in law lives in another state and EVERYTIME she calls she asks "is she pregnant yet?". My husband finally said "mom she is having some health problems I promise I'll tell you when she gets pregnant. Stop asking". Luckily my sister is older than me and she is done having kids. With that said I am annoyed because NO ONE in my family has fertility problems but me. My mom is one of 10 children, I have 9 first cousins, 15 2nd cousins, and 3 third cousins. Everyone just seems to pop them out. I am the ONLY one out all of the grandchildren over the age of 20 to not have children yet. My sister got pregnant with 2 of hers while she was taking birth control. My cousin had her IUD removed and 3 weeks later at her follow up appt found out she was pregnant. No one understands unless they have been there. So know you aren't the only one. "
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Reply #22 - 06/01/12  2:52pm
" My husband and I have been trying for 6 years now and you hit the nail on the head with your comments. My sister is on baby number 3, my little brother had the most beautiful daughter and everyone around me is pregnant!! I love the people who are like "you just need a vacation and it'll happen", sure because in 6 years we haven't had a single vacation. I hold it in everyday but all I have to hear is a song that says something about a baby and I tear up. It doesn't take much. I was one of those people that just wanted to be a mommy when I grew up. My hubby is supportive but I don't think he even gets how frustrating all of this is. Thanks ladies for giving me a place to finally talk about this with people who truly understand. Good luck to all of you!!! "
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Reply #23 - 06/02/12  6:57pm
" I understand completely. Its like we have some disease that they are afraid they are going to catch if they even mention the word infertility. I have finally reached the point where I am able to put on a brave face regardless. I don't even cry or mention it to my husband anymore. I wait until I am alone and break down. Suffering in Silence is the perfect way to express what all of us go through. "
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Reply #24 - 06/04/12  5:10pm
" my husband is a deep sea diver which makes us see each other less often. and icing to the cake is my pcos. We have been tryin to have a baby but somehow it doesnt work out. I've had 2 unsuccessful iui's. my husband loves babies and he desperately wants one. I feel so hopeless when i see him disappointed after the failed iui's.. My husband has started shooting sarcasm at me for not being able to give him a baby....i feel so bad cant tell u guys!!!

my sis in law who also had pcos conceived within 2 months of her wedding....n i thought to myself...why not me??? m still trying. nobody understand when i behave crazy due to those hormone tabs that i take. i feel so lonely but i hope all this pays off well and the nxt iui goes a hit. "
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Reply #25 - 06/11/12  8:42am
" HI, I hope this brings you good feelings.. I was told at 25 after already tring to since I was 20 to get pregnant that I would most likely never have kids.. I have PCOS.. my now ex husband and I had started private adoption proceedings back in 2004, I had already been tring since 1994. I was told by a friend that she knew someone who had gone to accupture to help with infertiltiy.. I looked in the local phone book and one add stood out to me it said right in it infertility... I called him, that was early 2005..he told me to bring in all my temp charts.. I did and he pretty much said... oh you will be pregnant in 2 cycles.. it worked he was right... my first child was born nov 2005. Then I went back tohim again and had a son in 2007...then without help I had twins in 2009.. so just try what ever you can.. your fertltiy doc will tell you it wont work... I had one of the best in my city it was at Heartland clinc... well I didnt listen to him and I did it anyway what could it hurt.. I hope you give it a thought.. here is my little bit of proof... my pic is even there...
http://www.yanacupuncture.com/Testi... "
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Reply #26 - 06/12/12  10:38am
" Hi everyone, I am new to the group and can certainly relate to how you all feel! My husband and I are buying a house and have a lot going on at the moment, so we are taking a break for a few months and are starting with injections sometime this summer. Jauman, I can totally relate to what you were saying - everyone is saying, "Oh you never know...." I never know what to say to that. I almost find it coming from the people I care about harder, especially my mom. I know she's just trying to be positive and strong for me, but I'm not sure how to tell her that she's just making me feel worse. "
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Reply #27 - 06/18/12  7:38am
" Wow, I am so glad I have found this support network! For the past 2 years my husband and I have been trying to conceive without luck. When you are newley weds you manage to laugh off the suggestions about getting pregnant.......all in good time hey. After the last 2 years, I am starting to find it hard to laugh it off! Especially when all around you friends or stangers falling pregnant with ease.

While I am thrilled with my friends good news, is it really necessary to do a weekly countdown on Facebook???

"Jauman", I hear you with regards to the supportive husband. Mine too is fantastic but sometime I would like him to tell me that he is just as angry, sad, frustrated or anything with the continual cycle!!!

Well that's my first rant, thanks letting me know that I am not suffering alone. "
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Reply #28 - 06/18/12  7:43am
" Wow, I am so glad I have found this support network! For the past 2 years my husband and I have been trying to conceive without luck. When you are newley weds you manage to laugh off the suggestions about getting pregnant.......all in good time hey. After the last 2 years, I am starting to find it hard to laugh it off! Especially when all around you friends or stangers falling pregnant with ease.

While I am thrilled with my friends good news, is it really necessary to do a weekly countdown on Facebook???

"Jauman", I hear you with regards to the supportive husband. Mine too is fantastic but sometime I would like him to tell me that he is just as angry, sad, frustrated or anything with the continual cycle!!!

Well that's my first rant, thanks letting me know that I am not suffering alone. "

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