What is Infertility
Infertility is the inability to naturally conceive a child or the inability to carry a pregnancy to term. There are many reasons why a couple may not be able to conceive, or may no...
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Ok so my husband and I have our first appointment on the 20th. We have now been waiting a year for a baby and are fairly certain we probably can't do this on our own. So my best friend has a two year old son. When she had to wean him she decided she needed another baby because her son doesn't need her as much anymore. So she started trying a few months after we did. Now she has no money, no health insurance, no time and no room for a new baby. Well as we hit six months she hit three. It was starting to impact me so I gave her a call hoping to get some support, after all she is my best friend. Well insted of trying to make me feel better she tells me how its so much worse for her because she KNOWS she can get pregant and I could be inferile. Plus she already has a son and that makes it worse too. Oh and not to mention. Her husband isn't in the military and won't be deployed so that makes it worse for her. Does this make any sense to anyone? So then she tells me her friend J is pregnant. J is dying, literally which is horrible don't get me wrong. She has no family to speak of so when she passes away (she has about ten years) she daughter will go to the state. And that isn't even the worse part. J was in the process of adopting her fiance's daughter. Well her fiance had just gotten out of prison and was going to make a drug deal, which she knew about but took his daughter anyway. So he ends up shooting a man in front of his daughter. He gets arrested for murder and J gets arrested for child indangerment. So then my best friend calls me and asks if I would be upset if she got pregnant before me. I didn't really answer the question and she didn't tell me if she was pregant or not. Then she calls me and tells me J is going to be enduced in the next few days. Then she calls me and tells me she's pregnant (the day me and my husband went down to the beach to get away from it all and ruined our day) then the next day sends me a picture of Jordan's baby girl. I don't understand. Why them and not me? What did I do that is really that bad that I can't have baby? How is this fair? I can't take this anymore. Oh plus I had an ovarian cyst rupture yesterday. I was sick all day because of it. Any my best friend has the nerve to tell me how sick she is b/c of morning sickness and I am just having sympathy pains for her. I threw up twice then the cyst ruptures, my back hurt all day and I couldn't hardly eat but I'm having sympathy pains for the one time she threw up yesterday because she's pregnant no less.
I am so angry. I don't want to be angry. How can I deal with this with grace? Posted on 11/08/09, 10:11 am |
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Sometimes you just have to get it out (anger). I cry,scream, yell, BUT I then try to pull myself out of that state. I find something that can make me smile. Maybe you need a few days to get away from this friend and their drama. That has worked for me. I stepped away from it all for a few days and it worked for me. Good luck hun 
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i would get a new friend because she's not being a friend at all.
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just so you know, you are not alone. A lot of us feel that way...a nd it's really tough and unfair. Let your feelings out for sure but make sure you do it in a way that "sane" Know what I mean? check this out:
www.wishtobeamommy.com
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There are many times I just get so mad and jealous. I've never really felt that way towards the people who I know are good parents; but when I see on the news people doing horrible things to their kids, I think why can they have them and I can't. I do have to admit, even though I'm embarrassed to, I get so mad when I see the Duggar family just for the reason that all I want is one baby and why should they get to have so many if there are people who can't have any. In regards to your friend, it would probably be in your best interest to distance yourself from her for awhile. I bet you would be amazed by how much better you would feel. I think all of us on this site get depressed enough on our own; what you need is someone who at least tries to comfort you and take into account your feelings.
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Last time she got pregnant we didn't talk from her second trimester until her baby was four months old. She told me the day he was born and I didn't hear from her again until I went back home at chrismas. We have a strange relationship. I love her very much we both grew up in terrible homes and we were eachothers support. No one knows us like we know eachother. But this she doesn't understand. She has always been a victim and I always but aside whatever was going on in our lives to take care of her. Now I need her and she doesn't understand that. I feel so bad cutting her out.
And as far as the duggars go yea I know. Then I go back home (Fayetteville, AR) and see them out and about, at the mall, the fastlane, wherever. Talk about hell. I went to church with them back when they didn't have church in their house. Its torcher.
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If you want to hear my similar tale I have one, but suffice it to say I had an ex bff that is in an abusive relationship (mentally/physically) but i had to dump her because her hubby gives me the creeps, he was smoking pot and blaming her for nagging him n thats why he had to toke up and oh yea they have to kids in the house too. She had several abortions in her life.(her 1st hubby forced her bc he didnt want kids and there were others when she was younger) and we had lost touch for awhile but right after we got back together i told her i was trying and she said they were too (this was b4 i knew what an ass her hubby truly was) and next thing you know BOOM- PG! I held her hand through the WHOLE thing bc her hubby didnt care. I threw her babyshower, decorated his nursery and bought WAY more things than my DH thinks i should have. I also stayed with her the first week to make sure she was okay since she had no experience with kids and I had...plus she had a Csection. He was my first God-Child and I miss him so much every day. And her second son I hardly got to know because I had to get myself away from her and her drama which was DROWNING me and my marriage. It wasn't healthy for me to be in her life anymore and it kills me i am missing the boys' lives but I can't help it. I HAD to remove myself from the drama and it sounds like you may need to do the same. It took me a month and a lot of sickness before i got up the balls to "break-up" with her...but it had to be done. Even my parents comment now that I am a lighter person, since I am not carrying her burdens around with me.
Msg me if you want to talk about that more. It's VERY hard, but I understand. Do what's best for you and your sanity!!!
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