Infertility Support Group

When I first started I was thinking donate to science but now 2 1/2 yrs of stuggle I would definitely donate and help some couple that has this saddness and desire for a family that i do. I would know that my embryos are going to ppple that loved them in their heart long before they were conceived!

I though about donating to a couple who really needed it... I know there are a lot of girls struggling with IF and would love to have a chance to have a baby.... i am not sure at this point if i am going to want to have any more children since I am going to have 3. I don't know if I could go through another pregnany being this sick.... but I think in the end I would donate to a couple who really needed it. It would be nice to help another couple fulfill their dream of having a baby.

I'm sure it is a hard decision to make. Incredibly hard. And it is a personal decision - there is no right or wrong answer.

After struggling for the past few years I now know that I would have no problem donating my frozen babies, if I were lucky enough to have any. Our only options right now are donor eggs or adopting embryos. DH and I could care less if our child is 100% bio or 50% bio - or 0% bio. We have so much love to give that it will not matter if the child that I (hopefully) give birth to in the future is genetically linked to us.

Please know this, if you and your DH do decide to donate your embryos they will be cherished and loved just as much as a biological child. xoxo

we've fortunately not been in your situation, but some friends of ours were. They also could not stand the thought of their children being raised by someone else through embryo adoption or just flat out discarding their eggs. She chose to have them implanted during a time in her cycle when she should not be able to conceive and let them "rinse out" with her next MP.

KandJ, I have thought of that too. I don't have to make a decision any time soon, so I have time to weigh the pros and cons. It's crazy because whenever I think about it, I feel like I would maybe feel jealous of the other parents with my kids. Or out of control, because they would be mine, but not mine so i couldn't say how to raise them. With adoption as opposed to donation, parents have to go through the same steps are adopting a child, so I would atleast feel good knowing that they passed their home evaluation, and were found to be fit to raise a child. I also think I would want to meet them, pick them, have a relationship with them. Not call me every day kind of thing, but an occasional photo or something like that. Like I said, I don't know. Something to think about for now. Thanks for the replies.

I can imagine this is a hard decision. AFter struggling with infertility and supporting fellow women through the process and knowing how much women would love to have another child (or their first one like me!) , I imagine would make sense to want to donate but if you think it will always be in the back of your mind that you have your "bio" kids out there it may not be the best choice for you. If you want to pick and choose who you donate to, getting to know people through forums is a good place to start. If you check out PVED site is for parents through egg donation. There are ladies who are depleted of funds and can only use donated embryos to continue TTC. Maybe just even being a "lurker" you may come across someone who touches your heart that you'd want to donate to. I also think miracles in waiting is an agency for embryo donation you could look into.
Something strikes a cord with about having IPs who generally have gone through the wringer with years of infertility- asking them to now go through home eval and all the "hoops" to see if they are fit parents to "adopt" an embryo. If I was interested in adopting and embryo (which I'm not), I would not be interested in situation where the donating couple wanted pictures and updates and what not mainly because I want my new family to move on creating our new family and seems intrusive. If it was "optional", I may feel different. Good luck with your decision!

This is such a hard decision. I have not been in your shoes so I can not say that I would be able to do it. I do have a story though.
My cousin Gina went through 100k worth of IF, the last part being IVF with all the bells and whistles. She did all the shots and everything and they only got 3 eggs. They were not very good quality and they did not take so now she is waiting for someone to pick her to adopt. She wanted to carry her own but she had no eggs.
You would give life to your children and give a IF sister a chance that she would never have had. No one else would ever be able to judge what they would do in your shoes... unless they have been in them. This would be the hardest thing you ever did. And if you choose or do not choose to do it. You are amazing...

We plan to use them all or at least try to use them all. I feel that god gave us that number for a reason. Thats just us. After meeting our two boys, there is no way I could live knowing somone else has our children.