Infertility Support Group

when people are trying naturally the chances are lower than 40% I believe, so 40% is actually good. Does anyone know what are eteh chances in a given month for a couple trying to conceive?

PS. Good luck with your decision. I understand it is not an easy place to be.

I think at my age it is 25-40% to get pregnant naturally. I think one of my major issues is paying $13,000 for something that only has a 40% chance of working. It would be different if we had the money, but we don't. And, honestly, I'm scared to take hormones. I feel like I'm an unpredictable ball of emotions the way it is. But I guess I have to at least try once, right.

no you don't have to at least try once. You don't have to make yourself feel obligated, or like you don't "want it enough" if you aren't going broke and damaging yourself in this process. That's part of the reason DH and I won't pursue IVF. I don't want to put us through that emotionally or financially, and certainly physically for me.

NO ONE should make you feel like you HAVE to try anything. If you don't want to do it, it DOES NOT MEAN YOU DON'T WANT IT SO BADLY THAT IT HURTS TO BREATHE WITHOUT YOUR BABY IN YOUR ARMS.

Trust me...I have a friend who makes me feel that way when I tell her I don't want to pursue IVF and just because she knows someone that put themselves into serious debt but now have twins from it, that must mean I don't want it as much.

BULLSHIT.

Don't ever feel like you HAVE to try something to get pregnant. If you aren't 100% on board with the idea...then DON'T DO IT.

whew sorry, i had to vent that. That said...you need to sit with DH and outline (on paper if necessary so you can SEE it all) your options, financially, emotionally, physically.

Best of luck in your decision making hon!

month to month naturally, you have a 20% chance of conceiving. your dh was probably excited because he saw/heard hope for the first time. we, thankfully, didn't have to go as far as IVF but we would have... only because insurance covers it. if we didn't have coverage, i dont believe we would have done it as of right now.

infertility and finances dramatically affect a marriage. take a break and talk it over with your dh. did you guys ask if there was an increased risk of genetic disease with lower egg quality? just something to think about and consider. same thing happened with a friend and they settled on fur babies.

I think 40% is a great chance. I'm 39 and I did 5 IUI's and they told me the changes on that was less than15% and the last IUI I got pregnant but that resulted in m/c. In my age group success rate of IVF is less than 25%. Hubby and I are in the unexplained IF group so I believe it has to do with poor egg quality. I've done 2 IVF's the 1st one I had 1 B and 3 C's embies which resulted in m/c. My 2nd IVF 2 B's, 2 C's, and 2 D's (poor). I found out on Wed that I'm pregnant. You see I have a lot things against me and yet I went I ahead. I'm not saying that I'm out of the woods yet and I know I have many more obsticles to go.

Everytime my husband and I talk about it, we seem to get in an arguement. I don't know how I feel about IVF yet. It really scares me; and at this point, I don't want to do it. My DH, on the other hand, thinks we should try everything possible which is easy for him to say when he doesn't have to go thru anything. I think adoption sounds like a great option, but he doesn't even want to consider it until after we try IVF two or three times.

I agree with everyone!!

Talking about fertility treatments with my DH has become a constant battle!! We have tried clomid 6 times in this year and all failed. we planned to do at least 4 IUI's (each costing $240). we tried one and it failed. at that point he totally threw out that idea and refuses to waste money on clomid and IUI. i agree that we should go for IVF and not waste money on the things that dont work, but he doesn't get the fact that IVF is not in our budget, even adoption in totally out of our budget. I believe men see the success in IVF or adoption, but completely ignore the amount of the money that you would have to put out for it. some places have a refund share risk program that offers a refund if IVF fails multiple times. we went and talked to a dr in washington dc and the program was $20000 for 6 IVFs. sounds great and perfect, but where in the world would we get $20000???

I hear you all...i have a very stubborn and right now bitter DH.
Good Luck!!

actually, 40% is pretty good. I did IVF 6 times with a 5% chance and it never worked....you are lucky with those numbers.
check this support site out:
www.wishtobeamommy.com

You have to trust your gut and do what is best for you. I went ahead with IVF two times, after agonizing and warring with myself about the very things you've mentioned. The first IVF failed (I was 38). I took a few months, nursed my wounded feelings and tried again--at 39, I did my second round of IVF and got pregnant even though we only had 3 eggs to choose from. The pregnancy seemed fine until my 19 wk. ultrasound where I discovered my baby was seriously abnormal and I was told I should terminate the pregnancy. It was over christmas that this happened (last year) and I had to wait until week 22 to be induced. It was the worst few weeks of my life--and so, not only did I lose my baby, but we went through a lot of grief/anxiety through the whole IVF process, and it cost us $15,000. I wish that I had never gone this route--not having a baby at all is better than going through what I did and having nothing to show for it. I'm now 40 and have other health issues that suggest another round of IVF is not a good idea.

I'm sorry to be so negative, but I think people don't want to scare/offend anyone by being negative and so you tend to hear only about the success stories--and don't get me wrong--they do happen and there are some very lucky women out there, but IVF does NOT work for everyone and there is a chance you could lose everything and come away damaged, sick, hurt and without any other financial options.

You need to be realistic with yourself about what you can handle, what you can afford, and how far you are willing to go. After everything I have gone through, I now don't believe that everyone should just go ahead with IVF--it's a very personal decision and it's between you and your husband. More importantly, it should mostly be your decision because it is your body.

I wish you all the best and hope my perspective/opinions have not offended you in any way.