Infertility Support Group

i feel like i'm losing my mind.....last cycle, we used clomid. my moods were SO awful....this cycle (i'm 4d post iui) we did injectibles. my moods were so bad on clomid that, two weeks ago, my sister and i got in a fight (she's 20 years older than me) and i was so awful that we haven't spoken since. today, i got into it with my mother.

my 21 year old unmarried niece is pregnant. her shower is sunday. i told my mother i wasn't going (she knows we are going through IF treatments....she is the only one in the family that DOES know) and she asked why. i said "i have things to do" and she came back with "i'm so tired of you being holier than thou" (i was a little vocal, 8 months ago when we found out my niece was pregnant, about her being unmarried, having no plans on marrying the father, not putting the baby up for adoption, etc. etc. etc.) and i FREAKED out on her. i'm not being holier than thou but have CHOSEN to not put myself in an AWFUL position of going to a shower where everyone is oh so happy for her and i'm not. because i'm pissed that it's not me. and angry that i have to go through what i'm going through and she didn't (i didn't mention that this is the second time in a year she's gotten pregnant did i? first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage).....and, yes, hormonal and emotional too on top of it. it wouldn't matter if it was my best friend who IS married....i don't think i'd be able to handle her baby shower either if she were pregnant!

sorry to vent, have probably alienated myself from you guys too. just SO upset and hurt that my own MOTHER would say that to me, knowing what i am going through (oh, btw, i am the ONLY person in our family (mom, two sisters, four nieces) that has had any problem getting pregnant...in fact, you'd look at all of them crosseyed and they'd get pregnant!). and i hung up the phone on her. i was supposed to go over there tonight to help her around the house (she's 78) and she called me back and said "i don't think you should come over tonight. i'll figure out a way to get my trash out on my own. goodbye" and i hung up before she could say anything else.

OMG these stupid hormones are DRIVING ME INSANE!!! (and now i'm laughing because i really DO see how nuts i'm acting :-))

has anybody else experienced this craziness?? what do you DO? just not talk to ANYONE? this is insane!
Posted on 11/05/09, 02:11 pm