What is Infertility
Infertility is the inability to naturally conceive a child or the inability to carry a pregnancy to term. There are many reasons why a couple may not be able to conceive, or may no...
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Just when I think I've heard it all...
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I have to write this because I feel so unbelievably sad. I just went to the superstore after work to grab some groceries and as I was walking down the dairy isle one of the women I know (it's a small town) is there with her two children and large baby bump (3rd one due soon) and I hear her saying to the person she's talking to 'you know we have a saying in Germany, if you die without having a child then you don't know real hurt and also if you die without having a child then you don't know real love. Having a child takes your emotions to a new level'.
It was like it happened in slow motion...I knew before I heard it that I didn't want to but it was too late, I was hearing it and I went straight to the checkout in a daze and walked home in a daze with her voice ringing in my head over and over again. I have been in such a good place emotionally the past few days and feeling really positive and even accepting that if we never have a baby I will still have a good life and then I hear that and I can't even describe the deep sadness I feel right now. I don't think I've ever experienced as deep a hurt as infertility - I know that for sure. I am stunned and angry and so sad. Posted on 07/02/09, 04:07 pm |
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What that woman said is a bunch of baloney. In fact I think the opposite of what she said is true. If you dream of having children and then cannot bear children then you know true deep real hurt and if you go through life not realizing what a gift each and every child in this world is then you don't know love. I don't think not having a child means that we don't know love or feel hurt. By not being able to achieve this I think we know hurt and love so much more. The infertility journey is mentally and physically painful. Don't ever let anyone tell you that because you have been unable to conceive that you are any less of a person. That person is less of a person for having made the statement. Infertlity is a journey filled with great highs and lows. Don't let the stupidity of one woman destroy your positive feelings and emotions. Faith Hope and Baby Dust. May all your dreams come true. XO :) 
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What an idiotic thing to say, that woman has NO idea what she's talking about. Experiencing IF brings you to an entirely new level emotionally, causing you to have so much pain, hope, despair, (and too many other emotions to list) that it is just ridiculous for one person to endure in one lifetime, letalone in a few years. Keep nurturing yourself emotionally, know that YOU know more than she ever will about heartache, and know that you WILL be happy again. I hope that your happiness will come with the news that you are so hoping for, but know that your happiness will return no matter what. And you will always be smarter emotionally than these ignorant people that have no idea what they're talking about, and you will take this sensitivity with you everywhere you go and bless others with it in your life.
Wishing for all your dreams to come true.
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You are going to have your day and experience love beyond anybody's comprehension because of the pain (emotionally) that you have gone through to have your child. You/We have such a broad understanding of appreciation that a lot of people never experience. It's sad that we learn this way but we learn.
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Thank you so much for your wise words. I couldn't get my emotions to catch up with my brain that was saying this is rediculous and she doesn't know what she's talking about. I had a good cry and decided I couldn't dwell on ignorant people like her and feel much better now. I think it is so true that this experience brings us a deeper sense of compassion and understanding and I hope I carry it with me through my life because it was hard earned.
Baby dust to all of you!
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Agh! Obviously she's never known real pain if she has to use a saying to express it! This one struck a cord with me this morning! I'm so sorry that you had to hear that. They don't know what it's like and never will. I'm hoping and praying that you get your little baby soon!
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I am so so sorry... Its so painful.. Sending prayers your way and hope and good energy.. And a big hug!! Your dream will come true!!
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