Infertility Support Group

IF JOKES

Things To Do During the 2ww: finding the humor in it all.

1. Eat for two - just in case.

2. Convince ourselves that if we somehow go out and spend all the money we have "left" for treatments, God will be forced to give us a BFP. Target run anyone?

3. Seriously consider suing HPT manufacturers because their products suck.

4. Enter the Guinness Book of World Records for "Quickest Nervous Breakdown: 2 days, 2 hours, 12 mins, 7 seconds."

5. Spend an hour weighing out the pros and cons - ON AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER - of making a Starbucks run.

6. Become the target of a conspiracy of pregnant women all of a sudden turning up in the most unlikely situations ( ie: A Turbo Kick Boxing class ) and secretly wishing them an instant case of hemorrhoids.

7. Attack a coworker because they're stupid and it's just time someone broke the news to them.

8. Motivate yourself to stay positive by making a list of all the things your grateful for - and then wanting to kill yourself because you can't find any.

9. Freaking out the general public by approaching the next person you hear complaining about their children with your checkbook open and asking, "How much?"

10. Change your future children names 500 times and eventually settle our your original selection.

11. Undergo crazy fertility rituals like eating cows brains or chanting in Russian to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

12. Thank God, Hate God, Thank God, Hate God, Thank God, Hate God....

13. Watch Entertainment shows and put the remote through the TV when the next Hollywood starlit accidental gets "knocked up."

14. Bring home abandoned dogs, cats, sheep, lizards and goldfish because you "feel their pain."

15. Stay home from work because you're having a "blue day" only to find yourself watching "Baby Story" on TLC.

The 2ww can lead us to levels on insanity sometimes but at least we're not alone and hopefully can find the
Humor in it all.



Q: What do you call it when your evil coworker that has always told you your IF was "God's plan" finds all four tires slashed when leaving the house?

A: Justifiable.

Q: What do you call it when an unsupportive friend who got upset you didn't attend HER pretty in pink baby shower goes to the hospital a delievers a boy by surprise?

A: Karma


Q: What's black and blue and red all over?

A: My arm, I just started treatments again.


Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant woman who underwent IF treatments?

A: Dedication.


Q: What's the difference between Repronex and Menopure?

A: No seriously, I'm asking. I just do what they tell me to these days.



A man who had lived his whole life as a professional theif went to a priest and said, "Father I want to change my life. What can I do to get God's forgiveness? I've spent the last 50 years hurting and stealing from people and I just can't imagine any amount of pennants that will make up for it."

The priest sighed and thought for a while. "Well, this is a tough one my son. I think there's only one thing you can do at this point."

"Join the priesthood?" The man asked.

The priest chuckled, "Oh no my child you are way past that point!"

"Then what Father?" The Man asked desperately.

"Become a Reproductive Endocrinologist. Dealing with hormonal women voluntary all day long might be the quickest way to settle your debts in the afterlife."



JUST A JOKE:

Two women dealing with infertility were walking down the street together. Suddenly they saw I stork carrying a baby fly by. They looked at each other and one women said, " What do you think that was?" The other woman took out a handgun and said, "Opportunity knocking."




Fertabulary - terminology of fertility....

ART - assisted reproductive technology
FSH - follicle stimulating hormone
IVF- an arm, a leg, an a second mortage



A husband and wife had tried for many years to have a child with no success. Finally they went to an RE and with the help of IVF got pregnant and had a healthy baby boy.

16 years later the boy was catch cheating on an exame at school and the husband and wife grounded him for a month. In the heat of battle the son cried out, "I wish you weren't my parents!"

The father looked at him calmly and said, "I would never want that son. But we can make that a relality for you if that's something you think you really want."

The son looked at his father in ager and said, "Okay how?"

The father looked and him and said in a loving tone, " Write me a check for $14,000."



A husband and wife had been trying to have a child for year without success. Finally they consulted an RE and with in a few years they were pregnant after a winning combination of Clomid, Repronex and an IUI. During a routine ultrasound the RE looked up at the couple and said, "Well I got some great news for you. It looks like it's twins!"

The husband's face drained of color and shouted out in disblief, "How did THAT happen?"

The wife looked up at him and said, "Seriously?"



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Posted on 02/07/08, 02:16 pm