Infertility Support Group

Laurie in regards to your post I read it very clearly. I feel you didn't read mine to clear though. I just spoke on MY faith. In life your going to have different experiences and different levels of faith. I was just touching on mine. Usually when you open a statement no offense you may offend someone. Your statement you made about it's easy for people with a BFP or children to have faith is just careless. It's like a slap in the face in regards to my entire struggle. But anyway your are entitled to your opinion which is neither right nor wrong.

Again Mikalyn, read my postings correctly. I said easier, not easy. There is a difference. And I did start my statement my saying I wasn't trying to offend anyone, because I wasn't. I was expressing my opinion in a general statement. That you chose to take it personally is your right, but was not my intention and to be blunt is not my issue. That you chose to see my general statement as a personal "slap in the face" was not my intention and is also not my issue. To say my statement was "careless" was not only silly, but overdramatic. For whatever reason you decided to take a general statement and personally attack me. Shame on you, that is not the purpose of this site. But shame on me for indulging you and your argumentative ways. I'm done reading and responding to your postings, You can continue to be offended and continue your argument on your own.

I feel the exact same way. I have always been a church goer. I was born and raised Catholic and went to Sunday schoola dn church and all of that. I lost my way in college. I was in a horrible relationship with a guy who abused me. Because I thought I loved him, I made alot of stupid decisions and ended up pregnant and alone at 21 years old. I hate to say it now, but god really did intervene on my behalf. I ended up miscarrying at 5-6 weeks before I had to make any decisions. I ended up finishing my degree, finding a job, and marrying my best friend. I haven't talked to my ex since this occurred. I left without saying a word and never looked back. I waver constantly with my faith. But I can't stand to think that God would do this so I continued to just get by. I go to church when I feel up to it, and I don't beat myself up if I don't. not sure if that helped at all.

Its interesting how different people react to different trials. I am not going to lie I completely lost my faith during my infertility battle because I had the same questions why can the 15 year old next door get pregnant and not me? Why is the druggie down the street having yet another baby and not me? Everyone would always tell me it was in Gods timing not mine so maybe I was suppose to get pregnant just not now. So where the heck was gods timing when the child beater next door was pregnant with her 5th child?

I wish I had stayed stronger during my infertility I almost feel like I turned my back on Heavnely father. The thing I learned is its funny how we have hate or anger towards the lord when things get hard. we should lean on the lord ESPECIALLY during the hard times not just the good times. Its so easy to turn your back on someone when things get hard and love them when things are good. I think this all goes back to having a strong amount of faith. If we had faith we wouldn't turn our back on the lord when we are getting our BFP's we would lean on him. My husband is a prime example of this.

Not once during our struggles has he questioned the lord or has he been angry towards the lord. In fact his relationship with our heavenly father got stronger during this trial. Its funny because this infertility trial was a lot harder on me than it was on him and i think its due to my lack of faith and me pushing the lord out of my life. My husband although sad when we would get another BFN still had hope because he had prayed about it and he knew that one day WE WOULD GET A BFP. So the BFN's were much easier for him to bare. As for me i wasn't leaning on the lord and I wasn't keeping my faith strong and I would literally fall apart every BFN.

I am not trying to lecture or preach to anyone because again I am also guilty of loosing faith during infertility but I am just saying it was interesting to me to sit back now that I do have my BFP and compare how this trial affected me vs. how it affected my husband. He had a much more positive attitude and experience and the only difference between me and him was he had faith and leaned on the lord. I just wish I had realized this earlier. Now I did get a BFP just a few weeks ago but my infertility isn't over I will always be infertile I will just handle it differently now that I can see the difference in my life vs. my husbands all due to him just simply having FAITH.

Good luck!

Faith works for us how we want it to. You get a BFP you praise God. You don't you blame him. The fact if the matter is no one knows. We don't know why it works for some and not others. That's faith. Believing in something even when there is no proof or reason to. You can't prove God is with me but you can't prove he isn't either. Where we fall depends on what we choose to believe. We all seek a solution or an answer. We are taught logic growing up. IF is not logical. I agree with Laurie, I have a child, and that is easier then to not have a child. It's not easy. I still grieve over my lost babies, I still get mad and hurt and give up hope BUT I have a child to tuck in at night. My struggle is hard but at the end of the day I have what she want and therefore....it's a little bit easier. To each his own. I haven't made up my mind about my faith yet. I believe in miracles but maybe just not for me.

Faith is believing in something you cannot see. I believe my Mom is my angel, I believe I have 2 angel babies with her... I don't believe she can fix anything - like I thought she should be able to. Nor do I believe God can. I have said many negative things to Him during these 4 years... but common, I am one of billions. Sometimes I think that IF is natures way of slowing down our already over populated world. I read a stat that said there are more people alive right now then there ever has lived. Maybe this is our 21st century version of the plague. I don't know.

OKAY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLD ON HERE. Is this the same Muffin1182 that posted her BFP today? Who do you you think formed that little creation inside of you right now? The good Lord above, that's Who. I hope you are praising Him for your miracle, and remember that if you believe in Him and His Son (who died for you) He HAS been with you every step of the way. I've said it before but this quote I love goes something like this "When you feel like God has left you, remember the teacher is always silent during the test."

In the Bible are examples of many people who have suffered and struggled but they are blessed by God. YOU have been blessed by God and I hope you recognize that throughout this pregnancy...no matter what happens good or bad (and I will be PRAYING for the best) He is with you and will sustain you.

I've been on vacation for a week without internet access and haven't had a chance to read all the replies to your post, but I will when I get a chance.

I have been angry at God, too, and it takes a lot of time to build back a relationship with Him...one of trust and respect and reverence. Praise Him for your good news. Give Him the glory.

"Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights..." -James 1:17

"In EVERYTHING give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." -1 Thessalonians 5:18 (THAT ONE WAS TOUGH DURING 5 YEARS OF TTC AND ESPECIALLY AFTER MY MC!!!!)