Incest Survivors Support Group

Lie detectors are flawed and actually don't measure truthfulness. They measure things like sweat, pulse, and other things that are actually triggered by how nervous you are, not if you are lying or not. The results of a lie detector test are no long admissible in court because experts now recognize that lie detectors do not actually test lies. The results just mean he wasn't nervous about lying to the police. You are not nuts Ladym, but I know that feeling. No one in my family believes what my father did to me. It is also natural to sometimes doubt what happened even if you know what happened happened. You might want to try reading a book called "The Courage to Heal". I'm also posting at the bottoms just one of the many articles about how "lie detectors" don't work. I hope some of this has helped.


http://www.psychologymatters.org/p...

PS Congradulations on having the courage to go to the police.

Hi Ladymozart,

I join with Sakura in congratulating you on having the courage to go to the police in the first place. By taking this step, you were beginning to take back control of your own life, and saying "No! Enough!" to your perpetrators. When you begin to take back control of your own life, you are EMPOWERING yourself, and that is definitely a positive step!

True empowerment comes from meaning, and those things that have the greatest meaning for we humans usually arise from the spiritual, not the material world. You job, then, is to try and find some meaning to this experience, something that makes sense of the senseless. And please note, the meaning of the experience doesn't need to be anything lofty or profound. It can be as simple as the idea that this all happened to you so that you will, somewhere down the road, be able to counsel other young women who go through the same kind of thing that you have. You'll be able to explain to them how the polygraph results made you doubt your sanity and your reality. And you'll be able to explain to them how you were able to stay the course, knowing it wasn't you who was crazy, but rather your father. He sounds to me like a psychopath or a sociopath. At the very least, he's EVIL!!

I encourage you to hold fast to what you know to be your truth and don't worry about what the polygraph said. As Sakura pointed out, these things are far from accurate, and the best and only judge of what's real to you is you. So believe in yourself, and walk forward with your head held high into the light of recovery. Good luck. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come!

Dear Ladym,

My heart goes out to you and I can understand why you are so scared and upset.

Passing a lie detector test doesn't give anyone a free pass on anything. They're not even admissable in court because they're so unreliable. I don't know why they even bother to give them.

Some abusers threaten to kill if you tell and that's all it is. A threat. But for some of us we know it is not just a threat and we are in real danger.

I don't know your situation, but my own decision was to move far away and cut off all contact with my parents. Your own decision will be based on your own realities about how you can keep yourself safe.

Your not nuts, your parents are.
Sandy

You are so stong. I am proud of you reguardless of the outcome.

LadyM, I am blown away by your strength and courage to go to the police and report what was done to you. I was ritually abused also and my abusers are dead and I'm still too afraid of the threats to tell. I live 3000 miles away from where the abuse occured and AM STILL AFRAID of retribution if I were to tell and My abuse happened over 30 years ago. You are amazing!!!!
Michele

Thanks Michele,
Most of my abuse ocureed over 10 years ago at least but it continued until 3 years ago and then i was assaulted agian about 2 months ago.
This was the first time in 34 years that i was able to actually get up the courage to do something and I WAS and STILL AM TERRIFIED FOR MY LIFE!!!!!
I put myself in serious danger by doing whta I did and I think what worries me more is the other little girls I may have put in danger as a result.
I am especially worried now that the holidays are upon us.
I am supposed to be moving to a different address in the city I am living in whichis a ways a wya from where my family lives and I have a no contqct order so if they or anyone esle associated with them contact me I just have to call the police and my parents will be aressted and put in jail.
I feel guilty in some wys about doing this to them but in another way i wish they would just die a natural death and then i wouldn't have to be as concerned any more.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me it takes courage just to speak about these things because as you know we were trained not to talk.
good luck on your recovery journey.
message me any time.
ladym