Incest Survivors Support Group

I was afraid of the dark. I too couldnt sleep without the T.V. or a lite on in the next room, something my room light would be on. I couldnt sleep through the night. what did i do to overcome?
I practiced, I would shut the light and if I felt uncomfortable I would open a lite down the hall very dim. If that was uncomfortable then I would get a brighter closer lite. Until I found it comfortable. I would also tell myself I am safe, there is nothing in the house that can hurt me. I got a teddy! :) and it helped that my hubby was around then. But he did work alot of nights. I was alone, my daughter was young then an at home. but she had her room. I use to tell myself that I was okay right through the night. I could cuddle myself and also when I awoke in the a.m. I would give myself a talk about how I was brave and yes indeed nothing happened to me. its been years since I last slept with the t.v. on.
It also helps to calm yourself before bed, dont leave the t.v on where theres a scary or violence going on. Put a hearty movie on, something you like. or read a book with a calm topic sorta dreamy.
I hope this helps.
lots of hugs

We're afraid of the dark and silence, so we have the TV or the stereo on at night. (provides light and sound.) It's almost impossible to walk anywhere in the dark at night, so we end up unable to breathe and put keys between our fingers, because we have to live and go out right? You say I'm safe, look around you, make a little safety checklist if that helps you get started at first. :)

We have a battle axe under our bed. ;-)

I am petrified of bees as a result of being buried alive with them in abuse and stepping on an underground hive. I try grounding techniques for that, running, RAID, and avoidance. Getting better with this, not totally. It takes knowing your triggers and then grounding yourself in the here and now. For example; there's a bee in my house, but I'm not near a hive, he's likely to leave me alone and only wants to get out, not to sting me, so I open the window instead of full on panic. One time I veered off the road in my Jeep, slammed it and park and ran into a field with a bee. LOL I looked like an idiot.

We are afraid of lightning from being chained out in lightning storms as a kid and scared. I used to grab a stuffed animal, my favorite artwork, and so on, it was ridiculous! Now, if we can help others or a dog even, its a distraction. Mostly we cower under covers with a stuffed animal. Getting better through the years, still get highly anxious.

Lastly, anyone approaching from behind un announced, we WILL deck or preform Aikdo.(martial arts) LOL We're getting better at discerning and then had a second brain surgery on 5/1/12 that left us deaf in one ear, so now its tough.

You overcome by re-learning and distraction not medicine in my opinion. Meds are a band-aide to the problem or they can be a help.

Great topic! :)
~K of Destany;s House

I experienced these things too - panic in crowds, couldn't tolerate being brushed up against or being approached from behind, high startle reflex (I would scream sometimes if people startled me), I was terrified of the dark when I was small (the incest started when I was two and I still don't remember when it stopped - I think I was 7 or 8)

I could not sleep without my radio on. When I was a kid, I did not have a tv in my room. My parents let me sleep with the radio on but my dad was always complaining it was too loud. I also had an imaginary friend for years who helped me sleep at night. He protected me from the monsters (I had terrible nightmares all the time). I was unable to nap at school because of my fears. I believe the fear of the dark was as much a fear of sleep as anything else. My grandfather used naptime as a way to be alone with me and that is how I was abused.

when I was a teenager and I could not sleep, I rearranged furniture in my bedroom. I stayed up all hours reading or writing my novel (which I burned when I was 18).

Then in my marriage I suffered from insomnia again. It was because of sexual abuse and my own feelings of failure because I had promised myself I would never get a divorce. What helped me begin to get well again was trazadone. It is a non-addictive drug that helps you sleep. it is cheap (or was when I was using it) because the patent has expired.

sounds like you don't want to depend on meds, but trazadone as a non-addictive drug may be a good option. we can't truly get well until we have healthy sleep patterns. I have learned a lot about sleep in the last ten years and I am amazed at how important it is to our general health, physical and emotional.

I am still afraid of things. I have used breathing techniques, walking at least twenty minutes, meditation, yoga, and focusing my thoughts on the facts instead of my fears. Some things I choose to avoid, such as smelling things that remind me of my grandfather. As far as crowds are concerned, I still dislike them very much and try to order my activities to avoid them or at least avoid walking or having to be still among many people.

I sleep well now. Trazadone helped me. Since then, I have tried supplements to re-establish good sleeping after I had a thyroid problem that caused me to have more insomnia. the supplements that helped me were 5-HTP, Suntheanine, L-theanine. there is a product called "tranquil sleep" that is awesome - not a drug just a natural dietarhy supplement.

good topic and good luck

Oh yeah.I was afraid of the dark, went to bed fully dressed for the longest time, some sound to distract me ,otherwise hypervigilant listening, couldn't look into mirrors , sometimes I would have evry light on in the house all night. Way better now...as my healing and recovery progresses I notice that these fears seem to subside on their own, still don't like crowds, never have.

I am claustrophobic, I will have a panic attack if I'm anywhere I feel I can't get out of immediately such as the back seat of a two door car or a small room with no windows. I try not to find myself in those type of places even if it means I have to drive myself or make other arrangements. It is not worth my anxiety to try to fight it.

Agoraphobia-when I was 4 a guy tried to (essentially) force me into his apartment at gunpoint. Being 4, I thought he was going to gun down my family and/or me, so I feared going outside and being around people...Add close to 40 years and stir.