Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group

Oh I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

You sound at the end of your patience but still want to support him. It does sound as though he might be willing to talk to you about it though. He's probably as confused and upset as you are.

I wonder if he knows how common and normal it is to go through periods like this. I take it, he was interested before?

Could he be depressed? What else has he got to cope with at the moment?

Please have a look at my website for some options for how to deal with something like this. He could always give me a call or Skype me. http://www.soundspositive.com/cogn...

Could you persuade him to get a physical exam by the doctor do you think? To rule out any other complications?

When he gets the 'all clear' he knows that there's some psychological stuff going on. There are many very kind and clever people who know exactly how to help him get back on track, in his life and in bed.


I bet he's hurting at least as much as you are. I wonder if you could persuade him to look for help?

Very best wishes,

You are a wonderful and compasionate woman. Maybe your and he are both putting to much importance on intercourse.
There are so many wonderfull ways for you both to please each other sexualy. Your discription of a normal healthy relationship with him checking you out and touching you that way are all wonderful when you both learn that you can go further without intercourse.
He has these urges but is afraid to act on them because once it goes farther he cannot preform so he shuts down those urges.
Help understand he can satisfy you in many ways and you aslo can satisfy him in many way other than intercourse.
Hope this gives you Ideas. Try T-back panties there hard to ignoor

thank you so much for the tips............ really, truly. things seem to be ebbing & flowing lately........ i look forward to more light-hearted times. i really will take in the thing mentioned about putting to much emphasis on intercourse, and the t-back panty thing as well. haha.

I think I understand what your feeling. I have in my mind a night years ago when my husband was giving me a message. I miss that. I have often wondered what damage all of this has done to our sex life and if we will ever fully recover. For me my husband lost his desire for sex first. That messed with my brain a lot. For me being desired is one of the biggest turn ons. It can't be faked. Just going through the motions because it's been a long time is meaningless.

I have morned the loss of what our sex life use to be. I have known him since he was 13. We have been married almost 31 years. Many times we both have said things out of anger over this. Always started by me. I am good for a few months them I just have to blow off steam. I thought if I asked enough times he would tell me what was wrong and we could fix it. He honestly did not know what was wrong. I always felt sex was not important enough to him. Which also meant I was not important enough for him. I would call him selfish.

I quit dressing sexy years ago. For me this has been going on for over 15 years. It is not about me. As much as I would like to think I have any power over this, I don't. It is not the panties I wear. I would rather not dress up and be rejected or put pressure on him.

The part that was hard for me is my husband is very affectionate outside the bedroom. He always tells me how much he loves me. To most people we are the perfect couple. We are best friends. My head wants to put desire, lust and love in the same place. They are different but I still want all three from my husband. I am hoping his new meds will help get his desire back.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have been married to my husband for 48 years and about six or seven years agao he began having a problem getting an erection. We went to see a doctor and tried various pills, penal injections and the pump. The pills did not help that much and the pump seemed to be the most effective. And for a while even though it was hard to have to stop to pump, it worked out okay.I still had problems mentally about his not being attracted to me anymore and we had many arguments about it.

Recently he has totally lost all urges of sexual desire and of course that has me totally freaking out. I have told him repeatedly how important intimacy is a marriage and I think what holds it all together.But he never seems to listen what I am trying to tell him.


He have also had some business problems and we are financially strained and under a lot of stress. I have reached the point last week in telling him that he no longer has to try to be intimate, he is off the hook. It ended up in a screaming match and I have been sick to my stomach and a bundle of nerves since and at this point we are barely being civil to one another. I don't think that our marriage can survive this.

I don't know how old he is but 1/2 of all men over the age of 40 will develop some degree of impotance.

He needs to see a doctor because there is help for his problem. I am sure that with his newfound confidence he will be all over you just like before!

Good Luck!

I feel the exact same way. It's to the point where I cry myself to sleep every night. I don't have much help to offer, I'm just as lost as you are but I just want you to know that you're not alone.

PhoenixBird - I'm truly sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is clear that your boyfriend is sexually exhausted. You have to find what the reason is. There are many medications that are designed to cure the symptoms but not the cause, so you must get to the bottom of the problem. He probably has messed levels of crucial neurotransmitters(acetylchloline, serotonin, dopamine and gaba) and on has his CNS discharged. 3 things must be done immediately.
-The most important one - he must stop any sexual activity for an indefinite period of time.
-He may take supplemental support to boost the rejuvenation time.
-He must stay positive and happy(to keep his cortisol and adrenaline levels in reasonable amounts).
Regards.

Source and additional information: http://www.solidhealth.org/sexual_...

What is this site, owned by drug companies? Drugs are cummulatively, degeneratively & aggressively cyto-bio-neuro-toxic.

Is he on pharmaceuticals? If he is then...duh. Allopathy's 'money is in the medicine' not the cure. Find a holistic-alternative-complimentary doc & fix your diet & lifestyles.

Try an herbalist, that can work in a single cup of correctly mixed tea...it's not in his head & n-e-v-e-r take pharmaceuticals.

Also try energy healers. Here's one guy, I have no experience with him but he sure seems brazenly confident in his gifts: http://www.absenthealing.com/energ... There are many other healers like him, their energy is real, it does work across the globe and if one does not help you, the next one may. Here's another guy: http://www.energyreality.com/pgs/t...

Google Eric Perl. Google fast, natural, non-invasive, drugless cures. If you don't ask for what you want, you'll get answers with drugs in them & never stop feeling like a spectator in your own compromised life.

Health care is self care. There are answers out there for all of us; including that some of our problems are serving social & personal purposes greater than their relief.

Read 'Seth Speaks'. Visit http://www.iands.org/ ... there's more involved than you imagine & it is not all bad, not for you or him.

As far as your mutual anxiety goes, I do have experience with this fellow, he is very good with all kinds of stress, as well as grief, depression, tensions, insomnia, panic & fear: http://healingspectrums.com

Good luck, no need to be hopeless.

I appreciate everybody's input.... graciously.... and I am sorry for the pain and confusion others are experiencing.

I wrote this post 4 months ago - and I guess it's been a rocky ride since then, but with MORE instances of passion/sensuality than there has been in the last 3 years. We have been able to have sex a few times (...maybe 3?) since that post..... He IS finally seeing a doctor about it and they're just going to start with observing his testosterone levels.

But quite honestly: I think this really is a psychological issue. And even though we were hot & steamy when we first met... I have to accept that I have ALWAYS been the more intensely sexual one. (Any astrology followers out there? I am a Scorpio and he, a Pisces. These things do matter, in my opinion & experience).

Every day is a choice, however. And it's gotten to the point that I believe I may have forgotten what passionate sexuality or passionate, freeing sex really feels like. The last time we attempted to make love, I felt numb and insecure (AND I AM THE ONE DYING FOR IT!). This is certainly a very confusing road.... He's 35, by the way. And we are not always on the same page with how this is impacting us...... We are different kinds of people....... I want to survive this. But that includes - feeling desired by him and not feeling ashamed for having the sex drive that i do....

Thanks again everyone. More thoughts are welcomed, please.