What is Impotence Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardl...
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Finally Accepting I have a Problem
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Hello,
I am new here today. I am very nervous about this but after last night I finally am ready to seek some help. I would like some input, because I am hoping that someone here will have a similar experience and maybe I can find a way without drug therapy. I am 35, and recently divorced. The last time I was with my wife was in October and everything was fine. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to that point but I always could. And I felt like things were fine on that front. There were many times I could not ejaculate at the end. I have found someone now that I care for deeply. We are very close to getting intimate. Last night was very close and I was able to have an erection until the time came. I counted myself very lucky that she wasn't ready and to be honest I wasn't ready. To be honest I didn't even think I would find anyone I would want to be intimate with. The whole time I kept dwelling on the fact that it was possible I would not be able too and it was very preoccupying to me. I have a bad medical history. I used to be extremely overweight and diabetic. I had gastric bypass and had complications from it. I am fine now except some chronic pain that I am past and anxiety at times. I am no longer a diabetic but I still have high blood pressure. My cholesterol is good too. I don't eat great as I am never home. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow and see what she can do but I am very embarrassed to go... even though I shouldn't be. I do have a lot of stress on me (I am in medical school) and in a long distance relationship where I see her once a week. I don't know if this makes a difference or not. I would appreciate any comments or advice. To be honest I am very scared about the situation and I am amazed that I actually am posting this. But for the first time in years I am with someone that I want to make happy. I would even appreciate advice on if I should talk to my girlfriend when we get that close again. Thank you in advance. Posted on 02/15/09, 01:02 pm |
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Good for you!!!!!!!!! Too many men on here try and get around it or ignore it- it almost ruined my marriage. Have your doc test your normal testosterone levels AND your FREE testosterone. 1/3rd of all diabetic men (past or present) have low testosterone and this causes horrible symptoms of depression, fatigue, apathy, difficulty concentrating, ED, and lowered sex drive. It could cause all or none of these symptoms. DO NOT assume your doc knows what she is doing- demand the tests. Also if you are on BP meds some of them can cause ED- talk to her about the ones that dont and unfortunately you may have to use cialis or viagra (cialis is our pick) anyway. Please dont see that as a failure- b/c you are worthy of good intimacy- its not your fault if you have a medical condition- going to med school I hope you know that! I have had to beg docs for treatment for my H. The "normal" range for testosterone is around 150-1000 for all men 18yrs to 100!!!!! That makes no sense. So eve if you are in the lower third of normal, your symptoms may be caused by low T. I have researched extensively on this- it is a silent epidemic. Millions of men in america are undiagnosed- and have been treated for depression, when all they needed was testosterone!!! I Thank God everyday for Androgel! lol
Other than that- if its not low, try cialis or which ever one u decide on. Unfortunately if it is medical and not psychological, you will have to medicate it, or stay celibate. I think its an easy decision. 
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You need to be honest with your girlfriend. She'll understand and support you. You also need to see a Urologist and get the help you need. I wish you luck and happiness!
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Your initial post was more than a week ago, and I hope you don't mind a tardy reply. I just joined this group and I'd really like to address your concerns.
I want you to know that you are not alone. There are many, many men having the same experiences that you are. I am one of them. In many ways, change the names and dates, and your story is mine. I point this out not to shift the focus to me, but to tell you I understand, because I have been, and in many ways, am still, there. First of all, congratulations on your courage in taking this first step. You will not be sorry. Secondly, you have received a lot of wonderful counsel already. I'll mostly not try to duplicate it except to 100% concur that you need to do several things: 1. See your urologist and find out if there are any physical problems leading to all this. 2. If you feel the need, do NOT be embarrassed to see a therapist. 3. With your physicians concurrence, consider one of the medications for ED. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are good options, and work for many men. These 3 drugs don't give you an erection, they allow you to have one. (Meaning they take you from "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" to "the spirit AND the flesh are willing.) Caveject is an injection you give yourself in the penis. It WILL give you an erection, no matter if you are emotionally aroused or not. 4th, Lastly, and Most Importantly, talk to your girlfriend. Pick a nice relaxed and private location. Tell her how much she turns you on, and how you want and hope for intimacy with her. Explain that even though you find her very attractive, you are fearful of being able to perform. Speak to her from you heart. If she is the girl you think she is, she will understand and want to be part of the solution. In short, take the pressure off yourself. When you and your girlfriend do come to the point of sex, just "allow" nature to take her course. And if everything you hope to happen does not, rather than getting all stressed and tense, accept it. You know, a few hours of cuddling and caressing and foreplay can be fun in and of itself. And if you're worried about "satisfying" her, there are lots of ways to bring her to the Big O without actual intercourse. Well I have blathered on too long. Please give yourself a chance, and just as importantly, give your girlfriend a chance to be part of the answer. If you want to know more about HOW I know all this to be true, I can go into greater detail, but I think you get my point Good luck to you in your new relationship, my friend.
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