Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction Support Group

It sounds like you had a good upbeat kinda day! Good for you!
I'm really glad that you went to talk to a professional and that you seem to have found it helpful and inspiring. I find it interesting that you talked to a woman therapist. I haven't been to a therapist YET. However I have always felt it would be easier for me to talk to a woman than a man about sexual problems. I wonder why that is?
Mark

I think your wife's lack of openmindedness when it comes to different lovemaking techniques is making you more depressed, and adding to your problem. In a marriage, you have to be willing to compromise. Have you tried a higher dose of Viagra? I started with 50 and now I am on 100. Good Luck my friend....Bob

What I am beginning to understand is how one-way a lot of things have been since I had my cancer surgery. I am going to the urologist on Monday to have him show me the injection therapy. But, I think that is it. If she doesn't change her attitude after I try injection therapy, and at least agree to see some form of counseling with me, I really think it is over.

Does she know that you are at the end of your rope and thinking of leaving if her attitude doesn't change? If you have not explicitly said this to her, do yourself a favor and tell her. Sometimes it takes a shock to bring the person who is unwilling to realize how serious the situation has become. Also how old I'd your wife? Is she near menopause? She may need to have her hormones checked as well. She sounds depressed and a bit irrational- and messed up hormones can make people react oddly. I don't really know you, but I want to tell you how proud I am of your courage, tenacity, and heart for trying so hard to save your marriage and work for the sex life you deserve. Many women are in the opposite position and have to beg their husbands to seek treatment. Bravo to you!..... And I wish you good luck. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Maybe you should offer your wife some "special" brownies to mellow her out LOL.

We actually had a very interesting evening. While watching Battlestar Gallactica, during one of the commercial breaks, my wife turns to me and out of the blue says, "I will only go to my chiropractor because he won't try to push chemicals on me."

Knowing exactly what she means, I say, "What if I promise that whatever we seek will not involve drugs or chemicals."

She clams up. I walk over and grab a prescription I had just filled - the penile injections. I hand them to her and tell her, I have an appointment Monday for the urologist to show me how to do this. Once again, I am facing one of my biggest fears - the fear of sticking myself with a needle in a private location. I tell her, this is as far as I am willing to go, and that I was scheming on how I was going to move out.

She examines the injection kit, looks at me and says, I don't want you to do this. I say, then you have to do something for me. She asks, "What?" I say, learn to accept me as I am.

She tears up, and says, I need time. I say, I am patient, I can give you time.

After the show, we go to bed. I check on the kids. Walk into the bedroom, lean over and ask her if she wants me to sleep next to her tonight. She answers, of course.

After snuggling in the morning, I tell her I want to make love to her tonight (the joy of Viagra - no spontaneity). She nods yes.

So. As I see it progress. Still need to take it slow. But I think I'm breaking through. I don't know what she is planning to do yet. But I think now is not the time to push, but to give her time and space to think.

By the way, she is 35 - so we are not close to menopause. In fact, this is probably the opposite problem. She is hitting her sexual peak. Maybe I'll just rent some movies where Brendan Fraser or Clive Owens walks around with their shirts off tonight and she how she responds! ;-)

So good to hear u had a good night! There are MANY holistic counselors u two could go see that also do not beleive in medication. Maybe u could look into one of those since that seems to be her main concern. So happy for your progress :)

Just came back from the urologist for the injection treatment. OMG. This really works! I am on the lowest dose, and this is the erection I had before the surgery!

BrownBear, I need to know 3 things...

1) I thought your wife didn't want you to do that, (the injections) ?

2) Are the injections as painful as any guy would expect them to be?

3) How long does the injection induced erection last?

Okay, I've thought of more questions,, but I said 3, so I'll quit for now.. LOL

he has probably been too busy banging his wife to answer you markat LOL. Here's hoping anyway- he deserves it :)

I actually think it's supposed to be almost painless. My H has to inject insulin several times a day and the needles are so fine he can't even feel them, I think the injections he is talking about use a tiny needle. I couldbe wrong. Maybe he will give us an update soon.

In answer to your questions:

Yes, on Friday night, my wife said she did not want me to go through with it. Then, we tried to make love Saturday night, and Viagra wasn't working. I suspect it was either because we had just gone out and had one of those big meals where you are sleepy afterwards. I also suspect that since my wife had told me a number of times before that she was not sexual attracted to me probably played a role in whether I was getting aroused. But, when that happened, I decided that I was going through with it for myself. Strangely enough, my wife is applying to become an EMT, and when I told her I was going through with it, she asked if she could inject me (she is also something of a sadist, but we'll not discuss that here).

Second, the injections hurt. But the pain went away after a few second. The real weird thing was having my urologist, a guy, hold my penis while he was doing it. But now, that's my job.

The erection lasted three hours. I made the mistake of wearing jeans, and it was not comfortable. I suspect that if I do the injections at night, and simply sleep naked after sex this won't be a problem. Although, I have to say I was a little concerned at the two hour mark, wondering if I should call my doctor yet. But, it seems that three hours is about average.