What is Impotence Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardl...
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How can I help my partner with ED? His problem started seven years ago and god knows I have tried my very hardest to be patient and supportive. I feel like I would be able to deal with the situation better if my partner would be open about the problem and take steps to try and solve it. The way things are he is defensive to any discussion about the problem and refuses to seek help. He will not talk to anyone about it and seems to continue as if everything is normal. I have not spoken to anyone else out of respect to him but I am finding it increasingly more difficult to deal with this on my own. He assures me that he has been to the doctor who gave him a clean bill of health; however I find it strange that the doctor never requested a follow up visit. He refuses to see a therapist telling me that he can fix the problem himself. He avoids any form of sexual contact and seems to find it difficult even to kiss me (I assume because he is scared that it will lead to something else). He assures me that it is nothing to do with me, that he loves me and doesn’t want anyone else etc however at this point down the line his words do little to reassure me and I am angry and frustrated. This situation presently is that we live an otherwise happy life together with a big black hole between us that my partner seems to think will go away if we just ignore it.
I don’t know what to think anymore, is there a case that for some reason my man just does not want or need sex? If I decide to stay with this man does it really mean that I have to make a choice not to have sex for the rest of my life? I can’t help thinking the problem must be me and that if I were to leave maybe he would find that he was cured with somebody else? Why does he find it easier to try and block out the issue rather than discuss it with me, or anyone else for that matter? I am getting to the stage where I almost consider myself to be crazy, is it an unreasonable request to want to have sex with the person you love? After such a long time with no progression does any body know if this can still be fixed and give any advice on how to get my partner to be open about what he is experiencing? (sorry for the rant I am new here) Posted on 05/22/09, 10:05 am |
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You are not crazy because I experience this same problem too. It is hard when we are told we are selfish for feeling this way. That can make a person feel crazy. This is a very difficult subject and one that is most definately not easy to talk about. I do not want to leave my husband since I have been married to him for a long time and I love my husband. It is something that I have to deal with and have been dealing with ever since we met and married. My husband seems to act the way your partner does. I really admire a man who tries to fix this problem. My husband went to the doctor and told him his concerns and the doctor did a blood test and said everything is fine and that was the end of that. I have learned that the only way for our relatinship is to work my husband will have to take medicine before we attemt to do this. The problem is is there is no time to make love because we don't have the privacy, the kids will knock on our door, etc. We can't do it just like that and we never know what will interrupt us and by the time we can do it we are tired and then the medicine has worn off but this is the only way we can do it. I think the medicine does work. At first I did not like the medicine but I realize this is the only way it is going to work so you just let your parner or husband take this and then you can do this. The medicine is very expensive but very worth it if you are going to be able to do this. 
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Please keep expressing your feelings because there are other people out there ( one of those people being me) that are experiencing the same types of feelings. We need to share and we need to get help for this. I know for me I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to receive help or understanding that I am not the only one dealing with this. The man and woman are both affected by this problem.
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Boy can I relate , I wish there was some support in person for this curse.
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Your not the problem,dont blame yourself. Its difficult to talk about, trust me!, its taken me 20 years to finaly try and face dealing with it. And it hurts like nothing else just discussing it, be prepared for some tears if he does open up about it. Thats why he most likely doesnt want to talk about it, you see big guys dont cry, right?.
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Don't blame yourself. Sometimes it is embarrassing to talk about and trust. I experienced it 5 yrs ago and I told my girlfriend for 3 year and broke out with me by texting me. Then she told her friends. I nearly kill myself. that left me with bitter taste.
He needs support. I can help. Send my journal to in email and let him read. I am taking pills. I have been happily married for 5 years and have 3 kids. I have not told wife that I have ED. My shipment (pill) goes to my parents home. Tell him ED is treatable. He can be normal and have hard erection. I am a living witness. I am ready when wife is ready. I get my pills from : http://www.allbrandgeneric.com . No prescription needed Do what my friend wife did. If he's ashame, get him a starter kit of Viagra (20 pills) for $45 from the website above. Put it in one of shirt pocket or shoes. When he try one, you will became to see him smiling again and rough at night.
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Lily,
Sounds as if your hubby is not willing to admit he has a problem which he cannot solve by himself. I see you are in your late 20s, is he about your same age? About one out of four men ave ED because they are taking some kind of medication. Depresssion and stress can also be the cause. Depression and stress can caused when a man cannot get an erection so the problem can amplify itself. First of all, try to think back. Were there any changes in his life at about the time the ED was first noticed? Has he had this problem with other women ever? Men are visual animals. Has your body image changed since you first had successful sex? Could your hubby be gay? When I was using the meds, I would take a pill right before I thought we could complete the act. Then we would immediately start kissing and foreplay, oral, fingers, tongue etc. I would grow hard as the foreplay continued and we could then have intercourse. However, intercourse is not the only way for each of you to enjoy sex. Perhaps you could teach him to help you reach orgasm through foreplay as r until until he becomes erect. Many men find they can have an orgasm even though the penis is not hard. You may be able to help him do that. But, unless he is willing to cooperate, and try new things, nothing is going to work. You need to be clear to him that not having sex with you can be a deal breaker for the marriage. He needs to know his refusal to get treatment is leaving you with few options, and he is not going to benefit from any of them.
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