What is Impotence Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardl...
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I have been married for two and a half years. In the last year and a half our sex life has been non existant. The cuddles and the kisses are there everyday, but nothing else. We've tried viagra, but it only worked once, and ofter the third attempt he gave up completely and has not tried anything else. Then he blamed me, I needed to lose weight, so I lost 40 pounds, and still nothing, when ever I try to talk to him about it he becomes defensive. How do I know if its me or ED? Is it normal for a man to blame the woman first? Help!!! As a husband in every other way he is great, but I'm only 37 and I could have had an affair many times but I love him and I have reassured him on many times that I will not leave him I just want to find a solution and look at our options, but he shuts down. He has even suggested for me to find someone else because he is not capable and he has told me that he is amazed that I stay faithfull to him and I still love him. I'm going out of my mind here. How do I get to the bottom of this. Especially if it is him, how do I get him to aknowoledge his problem and seek proper help? Or how do I recognise that it really is me?
Posted on 06/29/08, 04:06 pm |
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It's not you! Are you married to my husband because I have gone through the same as you. I didn't have to lose weight but Jesus! It was never you!
He needs to see a Urologist and keep going. He needs to listen and change meds if they're not working. You can cause his impotence. I blamed my self too and they realized it can't be. He would look at porn to get errect. That not too hurtful? I know your pain and I don't have an aswer. I won't cheat. A waste of my time. I'm looking for a better toy! He has spent a lot of money on other meds from someplace. (not his doc) It helped somewhat but I feel it's better to see a doctor because otherwise they don't know what they're taking and it's a fortune. I wanted to kill him when he told me. Let me put it to you this way, it's a down payment of a car! Put he was desperate and afraid I would cheat. He looked into male prostitutes for me but that's sickening and only once. What the hell good is that! Sorry, I'm on a roll! Feel free to talk to me anytime because I know it 's a terrible thing happen to a couple! Good Luck Good luck!!! 
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sorry I was typing fast, You CAN NOT cause him to be inpotent!
That's what I was trying to tell you!
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Hi Cute1,
Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately though my husband wont take responsibility and keeps blaming me, his reasoning is he can get an erection watching porn, so therefore it must be me. And since his last failed attempt with me, he has not tried to be intimate with me at all and he just wont listen nor hear my pain. I try not to blame myself, but this whole experience has made me feel like a worthless nothing. Like I'm the most ugliest repolsive woman that exists. Yet he wont leave me. I've told him millions of times to leave since he feels I'm the cause for his problem, but he won't leave me. I'm tired of the tears, I don't feel at home in my own home, I use to be a happy positive person full of life, now that person feels like a distant memory
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I am sorry that you and your husband are going through that. I know it is hard. Men are prideful beings sometime and don't want to admit that the problem is us. I know because my wife and I have dealt with and still do deal with it. I guess the difference is that I went to the doctor and sought medical opinions on what could be done.
I did try to get her to leave me because I thought it would be best for her however she did not. I am blessed to have her. Like the two of you we do kiss and cuddle alot, luckily we both like that.
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Hi Ilovemylife9134,
Its very helpful when men reply and share their stories, thank you for that. I appreciate everyone's support. I agree with you when you say that men can be sometimes prideful. I've showed him this website, have downloaded articles for him as well, tried to reasure him that there are many people who have this problem and help is available. But I feel like I'm banging my head up against a brick wall. I've also told him that I love him and that this problem is not a good enough reason for me to leave him and that I will support him and stand by him through this like I have with everything else. We don't argue about anything else, this is our only problem that I feel is taring us apart because he doesn't, wont hear me and in the end I feel like everything that I have done means nothing to him and doesnt understand. Most of my friends tell me to either leave him or find someone else. I like coming here because all of you are helping me to understand and give me hope. Again thank you for your support.
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I was once told by a Dr. that if you ever wake up with an erection or have one at anytime, that it is not ED. Not sure if I agree with this or not. Sounds to me like your husband needs to seek help from a therapist. If he is not willing to do that then you are in for a very unhappy life. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT !!! Of that I am sure. My advise at this point would be to just keep trying to get him to see someone. If you need to chat just let me know. Try and have a good day.
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since my pic is'nt up i'll share my thoughts/details - i have morning erections and most times get one masterbating but those 2 facts don't mean i'm not impotent because i am by definition
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Have you niticedifhe everhas an erection during the night or in the morning? If you have seen one, it may be something in his head. If he never has them, then it could be physical and he really needs to see a doc.
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