What is High School Stress
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Why is HS so difficult
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My daughter is a Junior this year and is really really struggling academically, especially with Integ Physics (whatever that is?) and Geometry. She is failing Geometry. She has ADD and Aspergers and a slight learning disability. She just started tutoring and hope that will help. I am so worried about her not graduating and wonder how can kids who don't do so well ever manage to graduate?
Because of her problems she has a hard time making friends. I would say she has more acquaintances. Anyone have any advice for her? Oops, don't know if this is the right forum, but she also has anger issues and it comes out in her dry sense of humor and is sometimes downright mean. She appears to have no empathy or sympathy for anyone. Is this normal teen-age behavior? She relates to songs that talk about how dark the world is and how she feels alone and that nobody understands her. She has a role playing website she has belonged to for a couple of years and those people can be way out there. Maybe she is depressed. Anyway, I hope some teen-ager out there can relate and help me try and help my daughter. Should I be worried. Her favorite color is black, but she says she is NOT Goth. Posted on 10/16/09, 12:10 pm |
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First off, it's awesome that you want to help your daughter and improve her life. However, I've learned this from watching my mom with some crazy depression and mental issues that you can't change her, no matter how hard you try. She has to be the one to change. So what you can do is really limited but maybe it can be extremely helpful. If your budget allows this, maybe you can try going to a therapist or something with her, but if she doesn't want to go after the first couple times, don't force her to, but maybe continue going yourself so the therapist can help you help her. Because if you force her, she might resent you and say that you always are telling her what to do or something and that won't lead to a healthy relationship.
Also, with the grade issues, she needs to choose to try to have a chance to be successful in the classes. If she talks to the teacher and gets extra help from them as well as her tutor, it should help her significantly if she wants the help. Because generally, if the STUDENT asks the teacher for help, the teacher will see the dedication and try to help a lot more. I know I did this in honors chemistry and my teacher then graded me a little more leniently as long as I always did my homework and tried really hard. I know a lot of teachers just want their students to be successful because if a student fails, it's seen as their fault from the administration standpoint, so when the student shows an interest in passing the class, the teacher is that much more interested in helping the student out. Good luck and I hope this helps!! 
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I don't know how much bearing this has, but many many juniors in my school are currently struggling or failing physics, and I personally couldn't do Geometry for my life.
As for the social aspect of it, the only thing I can suggest is for her to find someone who looks at something the same way she does, especially with humor; but during high school having more acquaintances than good friends seems sadly common now. And this often contributes to the lake of sympathy/empathy for other whom we do not find worth feeling anything for with all the drama that goes on in high school. I, personally, relate most often to darker songs, adore roleplay although some people are indeed odd on rp sites. There is a chance she is depressed but many highschoolers go through bouts of stressing times may make it just a stress-related depression (common enough with people I know). I wouldn't say be worried, I went through a very similar thing. Unless she becomes completely uninterested in things she usually loves, she's probably fine but stressed. But definately have her look into getting more aide with the subjects she is struggling in; it does help. Hope this helps in some way, =)
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I agree: this shows amazing love and courage to ask for help here for your daughter
I was a junior last year and it was the hardest year of High School EVER...you're completely done with high school.emotionally, yet physically you have another year, and you end up (in my case both conciously and subconciously...I can't spell sorry) rebelling against that... I had a friend that sounds like your daughter that dropped out...but she's fine, she's in "beauty school" (I'm not exactly sure what that is, I though that was only in Greese :) ) and very happy or...: I have a step-brother who pretty much failed the majority of his classes (even though the majority of them were art classes) and still managed to graduate...He had a learning disability too my point is: what will happen will happen...your daughter will be ok she either will learn to step it up or she won't...but eventually she'll learn to be responsible and an amazing empathetic person yes this is a phase don't pressure her about making friends....I have almost no friends..I'm very introverted, but I do not relate or desire to have deep connections to any of the gossiping crazy people around me I'm just taking it one day at a time until I'm out of here your daughter's probably struggling with finding her identity just like all of us...she will be ok, she will make friends...she will graduate if its in her "path"...it will happen, she will kick it into gear if she really wants it, and if she doesn't...then she'll find another way just don't freak out, don't pressure her, and don't lecture/.yell at her, let her find out who she is, what she will be.
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