Heroin Addiction & Recovery Support Group

I'm sorry you are going through this. You are not alone though. There are many of us going through the same . My husband is also a heroin addict. He has gone back and forth with using and being clean. After being with him for 4 years (most of it was trying to help him stay clean) I left him. I am a stay home Mother, with no income & I lived in his parents home with my daughter and our son. I left in May and kept our son from him due to his drug use. He stopped paying all my bills. We went to court & now I'm moving into my own place with the kids. Still no luck finding a job I have to depend on him and a court order to take care of us, but so far it has been much less than what we need. What I'm trying to get at is, it's very difficult to go through something like this without feeling depressed, lonely and like you made a mistake by going back with him. None of this is your fault and you need to be honest with your Mom so she can support you. She will be angry in the beginning, but then she will be there for you, you are her daughter. I know how hard it is trust me I cry my self to sleep a lot and sometimes do not want to wake up in the morning, but PLEASE think of your children when you have suicidal thoughts...they NEED you and if you're gone they will be stuck with a heroin addict Father!! Your Mother will not be around forever...they need their Mother!! Please try and stay strong for them. Find out where they have Alanon meetings or try a therapist. I tried antidepressants...they were not for me, but a lot of people say they help. I wish you and your family the best. There are a lot of people who care on this website you'll always find support & advice.

I am so very sorry you are going through this mess. But do not make rash and foolish choices. Your children would be devestated without you, Not to mention what would it do to your mom? Would it be fair to put it all on her? You made the choice not her.. Swallow your pride and let your folks know it is a problem again. I am sure they love you and will help you .Get to NA meetings for moral support and most of all ask the Lord to bring you through this and show you the way. HE WILL. Don't give up on yourself. You are strong you have already proved that. Hang on girl ! If you need take the chldren and leave. They need a stable mom.

carojan1, first I have to clear the air with sawxhead -

Sawxhead - who the hell do you think you are, if you have nothing constructive to say, then do us all a favor, keep your fucking opinions and negative sarcasim to yourself. This site is for both the addict who is needing help and guidance and also for their loved ones. I don't think, I know that you need to apologize to carojan1 for your unacceptable comment, it's people like you that make new members or members in need to feel worse and wonder why they came here for help or answers.

I too am sorry for what you are going through, but with help and time, you will become strong. Addicts are excellent manipulators, they blame any and everyone from losing their jobs, not enough money to pay bills, no car, etc, when in truth the only one they don't blame is themselves, they don't take the responsibility that they are the one and only cause for the issues and problems. You need your mom, and yes she might be upset and angry at first, possibly even say "I told you so", but she will come to your aid. No parent wants to see their children hurt, whether she is the mom of the addict, or the mom of a child married to an addict. It's very normal to be depressed, you were managing ok when he was out of you and your son's life, you believed in him, put your guard down, let him back in, and the vicious cycle of addiction is once again in full force, the only difference is you have 2 children now. Suicide is not the answer, as LorenT said, and she has given you very good advise, and is right - you're mom won't live forever, and the thought of having their addict dad raise them is sickening, or if he is nowhere around, they will become a ward of the state, and sent to foster homes, with the possibilty of separating them, with one going with one family, and the other child to another family. I know in your heart you wouldn't want this to happen. The only way you can get out is to get help, for yourself and find an agency in your area that can help get you out of where you are living, google and find the agencies that help battered and abused women, if he doesn't physically abuse you, he sure as hell does mentally, and that is enough for these agencies to help you, they can also help with finding you a free or nominal fee divorce attorney. I understand you not wanting to take time from work to go to court, with job cuts, the condition our economy is in, that is the last thing you want to do, but none the less an essential priority that you need to handle. Lastly, yes we do know what you are going through, as many of us have walked in your shoes. Stay strong, along with doing what is healthy and good for you and your children.

Wow that's NOT COOL Sawxhead!!! I think you r in the wrong place...people on this site need support not your rude remarks!!

I understand,,,,I my self was a addict for 12 years,,,5 years clean,,,,,,but I wasstill living with my x,,,he was a addict,,,,,,you may just have to make the choice and leave him,,,if your love is true he will change,,but for now you are his prop,,you make it easier for him to abuse him self,,you are the string one,,,feeel free to ask for advice!!!!!!

I am very sorry that this has happen to u. as an ex heroin user i totally understand that sometimes it is hard to just walk away for this beast. i think u need to do what is best for your kids and yourself u cant wait around for your hubby to pull his head out his ass. he has to want to quit. i know that its easy for me to sit here and say i know all about it but we don't. only u can make this hard choice i don't envy u. do u walk away or stay and maybe get hurt or your kids getting a hold off that junk. i have a friend who husband used too. he actually got his 2yr old daughter hooked on it. he smoked it in the same room she was in. that is the bad problem with his drug. u lose so much of u for it. your just a shell when on it. it robs your soul. dot let it take yours too. your husband made a choice. he chose to do heroin. i wish u luck let us know how it turns out
much love
ro

what you r going through must feel like a night mare,you never in a million yrs imagined that this was gona b ur life. but the fact is you are married to this person and you share wonderful children together and from the sound of it your husband loves you . like the good bible says whatever God joins together noone should seperate. and these are not just empty words there are far worse thing that can happen not only to you but to all who u love and are involved. i'm not trying to depress u but he is the one that is in need of help (not that ur not suffering) .i say stop the fighting and the patters that you guys have fallen into over the yrs and try to change your whole life altogether. start attending church ,eating together (even if he is high) and saying thanks. doesnt matter if ur not a religious family.that way instead of u doing the scolding the priest would be doing it for u (maybe not the first 2nd or 3rd time but eventually ) and giving thanks at home b4 dinner would help keep the priests words in his mind . this addiction is an illness of the mind and only a strong will can cure it. Noone is that strong and only God can help him and give him reson to be strong .but u have to be supportive kind and loving (not that ur not). i hope u try it and that u'll have that family and husband u always dreamed of .

Sawx i agree with you up to a point. but there is no need to get rude that is the whole woe is me addict i never responsible for my own shit. and don't come back at me like u don't. i actually do i did heroin for 8yrs lost everything almost my life so i totally understand that sometimes we need to vent. but i don't believe that she was blaming anyone or even saying she didn't understand. its not always about the addict. we choose to get high and choice is what we are talking about. but when u bring kids into it it chances. its just not about the addict its about the whole cycle. I have let go of the thing i did while using. i totally know that i am no longer that person. u seem very very angry. and maybe that is the problem. cheer the fuckup man it can only get better

I belief that sawx still feels anger and guilt about his addiction and he is throwing it out on other people, but himself. Again to a point i see what he is saying, but when it comes to addiction it's not just about an addict its also about the family and children that surround that person. And it is a choice to do the drugs or not to do it.

i agee but also i see his point also. Its hard enough to open up to people about your heroin use without having someone who has never used say all the things abut shit we know. but i think she is just at her wits end about what to do. the point is Caro there really isn't anything u can do but be supportive but sometimes that isn't an opition. i know how hard it is to just walk away maybe u should. About him trying to fight u and saying lets don't fight. he is using a think most addicts have perfected. manipulation. being an addict is hard so we want to have a reason to get high. any reason. stick to it girly