What is Heroin Addiction
Heroin or diacetylmorphine (INN) is a semi-synthetic opioid. It is the 3,6-diacetyl derivative of morphine (hence diacetylmorphine) and is synthesised from it by acetylation. The w...
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Do I stay or go? Gf of an addict
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I've been with my boyfriend roughly 8 years, and hes been a H user for the last 4 of them - in and out of recovery. I've been trying to be supportive , but lately its just getting to the point where I can't handle anything anymore. MY life is affected and is suffering by HIS using. I'm stressed out more than ever every single day - my hair is falling out, I cant eat - then I binge, my school is suffering, i just cant control myself anymore. This is completely unusual behavior for me, and I know its bc I'm worrying about him so much everyday. And the thing is, I'm only 22! I feel like I shouldn't have to be worrying about this, its not fair to me. ..
i love him so damn much, hes my best friend.. but if he's not willing to get help either via rehab or a therapist or anything, i just dont see the point of me just sitting around while i know hes "secretly" getting high.. I want to be there for him.. but its not like i do any good, i mean, if he doesnt want to go to rehab, i know better than to think i can change his mind.. i just feel like an enabler i don't know what to do.. i don't mean to complain, but I just cant take it. Posted on 09/03/09, 01:09 am |
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Izzy1027
You are too young to be going through this. My son is a heroin addict and has been through several rehabs. and relapses. He definitely needs long term treatment but he is not going to do it until he is ready. You need to get away from the relationship, it seems like it is really affecting your health. Have you tried going to any support meetings for yourself? I think the best thing you can do for both of you is tell him you can no longer be in the relationship as long as he is using. That probably will not be enough to make him stop but you need to move on with your life. Otherwise you are just asking for lots of lies, stealing and heartbreak. The are the best liars. I am sure you feel like if he loves you he will stop but it does not work that way. The drug takes them over and that is their only love. My son threw away a great relationship (she was smart enough to say good-bye) and he is presently in jail because he stole to pay for drugs. Trust me things will just go from bad to worse. Do yourself a favor and get out!! Best of luck to you. 
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Girl if you stay in this relationship you are in for a very long and painful life. Don't fool yourself into thnking you can cure him. You can;t! I am a mother of two children that have been dtruggling with drug addiction for years. They have made amess of their lives and of those who love them. It isn;t easy but you need to let go and move on, He isn;t going to change until he is good and ready. That can be years. Sorry I wish I could be more encouraging
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im sorry to say your replies are so true. My hubby has been using on/off for 15yrs. I always kept hoping it would change, and wev spent thousands trying to fix him. I have now told him to leave and come back when hes ready to start again. My hope has gone. It was the hardest decision i have ever made, but i had no choice. My children must come first. You really need to get to this level and do whats right. Stay strong xx
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My boyfriend has been with me for 3 1/2 years now and even though I love him I wish we hadnt come this far. He is not an addict and has put up with me relapsing and lying through out the relationship. He has been a huge motivation for me to stay on the right track but when I do fall off the wagon hes forced to deal with the consequences too, he also gets hurt. He isnt perfect, we kinda have a toxic relationship, he has some big faults himself with his anger but I forgive him right away because he forgives me for my big mistakes right away. I know its hard to end a relationship but I have been doing major thinking about it so he can have a better life and I can too. Even though we love each other so much i think we both know its not healthy to let it continue much longer. Your boyfriend, like me, needs to really love himself before he can be a healthy partner to you. Maybe at this time he needs a friend of you more than a girlfriend, dont be afraid to give him tough love, whatever happens take care of you first.
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Thank you all for the responses. And I hate to say, I know you all are right. I'm just so worried for what he might do. He really has no one else.. He has a terrible relationship with everyone in his family- who would kick his ass out to the streets if they knew he was using again. I would just feel completely horrible and utterly responsible if something were to happen to him.. I just know that I can't keep going on like this.. I know what needs to be done, but I can't bear to leave him on his own, it's like complete abandonment.
I think I may need to be the one seeing a therapist.. I just don't know how to cope with all of these feelings.
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My ex was in the same situation - his family had given up on him and I thought that my love and support would help to heal him - I am affraid that its just not the way it is. He carried on using not matter what happened. Its the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life to leave him and my heart aches everyday but it has not made any difference to him - part of me was hoping that the thought of losing me would spur him in to action but instead he went on a massive bender - but for me I am taking control of my life and not living in constant dread and fear. There is just nothing you can do except do the right thing for yourself. All I hope for my ex is that he eventually sees the light and gets clean for himself as he sure as hell would not do it for me or any of his family thats why they have nothing to do with him any more. I poured my heart out to him but still he went and used and remember that its him who does it to himself no one else. I wish I could tell you a different story.
Be strong.
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