Heart Failure Support Group

So, He had a BAD day most of yesterday. I got the brunt. First, there was the complaining about MY driving. Then there were the "kind" words when I waiting for him to finish paying at the store "You could've got the bag, instead making me carry it" (it weight very little...less that 2-3 lbs, AND was the regular bag NOT a big one. Then there was the parking lot, where he informed me and the children that "we should learn to listen to him, and our being thirsty EVERYTIME we go someone where is gonna stop". We had wanted a drink inside the store, but he said it was too much, and we should use the machines outside, which turned out to be .25 more, and the machine was broken UGH.

At this point I am SO tired of being talked down too, I just get in and drive home, of course, I was told how stupid I was for wasting gasoline (by going home to get a drink, instead of going on to the tobacco store, which he would've griped about as well). I get home, go inside, and HE informs ME that I am pissing HIM off! He was already pissed before we left home, because I failed to tell him I was taking a shower..wth!


He gripes and complains and mentions more than once that 1. he's trying to get off that stuff, so I can't complain if he's gripy" ('cept' I don't know what the stuff is he is referring to). He also told me I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGER AS HIS BEHAVIOUR because MY ACTIONS CAUSED THEM ALL.


Later in the evening, he is sitting in the desk chair, and I am laid across the bed watching "Big Bang Theory". About halfway in, he says " I don't get it. You like watching this show about this guy who keeps his house spottless, and yet you won't live by my rules. UGH, here we go again. He finds a way to crap in my cheerios no matter the occasion! I told him very calmly that perhaps if I got a little respect, I'd have a little less heart ache, and a tad more energy to do more around the house (which by the way is neither dirty nor spotless..it's lived in, and clean). He told me, it doesn't work that way. I said "well, I think I get what you are saying. I have to earn your love, or I get no love or respect and the only way to do that is how?" HE told me when his floor is spotless enough to eat off of, THEN and ONLY then will he respect and love me, and for 12 years he's tried, but I HAVE FAILED HIM!

I went to the loo and to smoke, apparently in the 20 minutes I was out of the room, he fell asleep in the chair. I come back in, and

his head was back against the wall, his lips were VERY GRAY, DRY, and sucked into the other one, his body was trembling, his eyes were not fully closed, his vein in his neck was POUNDING, and his chest was rising and falling FAST and HARD, and appearing to take in no air (which he was complaining of for a couple day now along with a headache). So, I watch him a moment, and then grabbing his shirt, I yanked his 155lbs up to a standing position and held him there. He was hard to hold, and he was confused. He said it was the inhalar. He had NOT used his inhaler prior to this ! UGH After holding him upright for a couple of minutes he slowly made his way around the house "To wake up",


and then while I attempted to do some of my bible study while going to sleep, I got to hear VIDEO GAMES, because he was NOW WIDE AWAKE! And....this morning, then fun has already begun with the FIRST THING I HEAR HIM SAY ABOUT ME...I had just told my son he could eat a certain cereal. HE however, told him "I don't care what your Mom says, You do as I tell you",! YAY ME. Already feels like this is gonna be a GREAT D*MNED DAY! Wonder how may times I'll get to hear one of his favorites today...when I yank him up like that and get him stabalized, I'll tell him how it scared me, and he'll start laughing and mention how he bets I wish I could just let him die. Scary enough, I can only hope I don't get myself in such an anger and upset mode, that I inadvertantly let that happen. I've never been able to walk past someone sick/hurting/trouble breathing, and not help in some way. God give me strength!


The before and after behaviour for the benifit of these two questions.

1. Will it EVER get easier to deal with someone like this?

2. Would these episodes be more DCM, or COPD?
Posted on 10/27/09, 09:10 am