Heart Failure Support Group

at his last appointment we were told his heart function was at 10 percent...

I sincerely wish I could offer some magic words for you. I can't. I can sympathize, however. You are not alone. I've got nothing BUT the BEST support here, as I am sure you will as well. My best wiishes for you. Honestly.

It really stinks that the original docs didn't express the seriousness of this condition. When they discovered my CHF at 25%, they held me for 3 days an made very clear that I had to stop smoking, limit drinking, and go on a low sodium diet right away or I'd be at serious risk.
I can understand how hard it is for your friend to modify his lifestyle--I was able to do it for a while, but I now find myself more likely to ignore the rules--it's really hard to handle everything amidst the depression that is inevitable.
I would let him know that you are concerned, but don't get too naggy (my husband almost drove me over the edge with this). Try to arrange for activities that will interest him that naturally don't involve drinking. If you smoke/drink, don't do it around him unless you plan to bite your tongue when he does it.
Your friend has a long road ahead--it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions dealing with this kind of diagnosis.
Best of luck, and kudos to you for being such a good friend!
:o)

YOu are to be commended for being a good friend. Sounds like he might be a bit in denial, by continuing all the things that probably led to this condition. Or, it also could be he figures what the heck, the damage is done already. Either way, the decision to quit these things has to be made by him for himself. We all want to fix things for those we love and think,,,you NEED to do this or that, but the fact remains is we cannot do it for them They have t reach the decison themselves. HOpefully your friend will see that if he wants to live, those are changes he will have to make. He is so lucky to have someone like you there for him though. Best wishes. JOAnn

I'm a caregiver to another with CHF and I'm an emphysemic patient as well. Age 71.

I feel all folks from age 50 and up should have an advanced directive that is legal in their state of residence. And of course a copy of that directive is given to others from the patient to speak for them when they are incapable to speak for themselves.

The right to die, with hold treatment or not resides within each of us and only us as individuals. Or use all means available to save our life at any cost. As you probably know the U.S. supreme court has argued this point.

If one is a caregiver or supporter and familar with a persons Advance Directive, then try to do your best to understand his, her feelings and carry on. Forgiveness for a persons behavior is necessary. Although that should not prevent one from offering dissageement to the patient to stop or do something which in your opinion would improve patients health.

My very best wishes to you both.
Mike