She has molded me into who I am. She is the reason I am so understanding, mature, and caring. She is the definition of a saint. Her whole life she has been a unselfish and giving soul. She has always been the kind of person to help those less fortunate and has a heart of gold. I have been lucky enough to know her and inherit alot of her wonderful traits. I am more proud than words can express to call myself her daughter. Not only does she give people a 2nd chance, she gives them a 3rd 4th and 5th. She is who made me see that there is good somewhere deep down in mostly everyone. She has instilled so many values in me through out my life and has taught me everything I know. She taught me how to talk, how to walk, how to believe in myself, how to cook, how to forgive, and how to love. She has been "Mom" to mostly all my friends and both my siblings friends. She has never been Mrs. Kirby, shes Mom. Everyone loves their mother, but not everyone can say all have loved MY mother. She was always there to put a band-aid on all my cuts and scratches and kiss them to make them better. She has always been there to tell me how amazing I am and how happy she is to have me as her daughter. We all get into trouble and do stupid things during our youth, but she always understood. She might have lost her temper and yelled at me from time to time, but even though I deserved it she would cool off and come into my room and hug me and tell me she was sorry, that kids are supposed to get into trouble and that she shouldnt have lost her temper. Not only is she my mother, but for years she has been my best friend, hero, and roll model. She truley is an amazing person. For those of you who dont know she was diagnosed with chronic heart failure almost 6 years ago. Not only am I
writing this so those of you who did not know my mother can know what kind of person she really is, I write this for anyone who has or have had a parent or loved one with a terminal illness. Dont hold how they may act sometimes against them, because its not really them, its their sickness. Just know your loved one is still in there. Just hold on to the memory of who they use to be before they got sick. Let them live on through you, through your actions. The only way I know to cope with losing my mother is to tell myself that she wont be in pain anymore, she will be in heaven as the mom I remember from growing up. God knows Im going to miss her, and Im going to cry like a baby when she leaves, but I try to think of it like this, its not her thats passing on, its her shell. Her spirit will still be very alive in me and everyone she has touched in her life, especially in me.
As you can see from what I have written here... I love my mother dearly. Her sickness is getting worse and I feel like the time is coming, and she can see it too... I see it in her eyes.... I just need support... I don't know how I am going to get through this.
Posted on 09/09/09, 11:09 am
muffinpuff,
