What is Heart Failure
Congestive heart failure (CHF), also called congestive cardiac failure (CCF) or just heart failure, is a condition that can result from any structural or functional cardiac disorde...
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My husband woke with EXTREME pressure and pain behind his left eye on Sunday. His PCP said he "needs to go to ER immediately because this is something MAJOR". His eye doctor said "I definately think he needs to be seen immediately because, considering his symptoms for the past three weeks (numbness in the face, halos around vision, weakness in the leftside, EXTREME HEADACHES, slightly odd speech etc), and his known medical conditions, he may in fact, be having MINI STROKES"!
Hubby refused to be seen. Now, almost every day/night he has EXTREME pains in his limbs, numbness coming and going, and occasionally one of those legs will go ICE COLD! He's covered in bruises of different ages, and his mind is getting BAD! Terrible mood swings, hateful words, followed by extreme sorrow, or complete forgetfulness. He no longer says "Hello" to me, it's "I want you to know you are killing me". If I call the Dr. at his request, he yells at me when I do. This is getting worse and worse. How do I deal with the way he is treating me, not knowing how much is medically related, and how much is just him? How do I just sit by and watch him fall apart like he, and everyone else thinks I should do, without feeling guilty? If he asks me to do something and I refuse, will this stress cause him BAD PROBLEMS? He's also creating false memories. He remembers doing things (and is quite adament) that we've NEVER done, and correcting him makes him VERY ANGRY. I wouldn't care, if he wouldn't tell the kids stories that just are NOT TRUE! They are not harmful false memories, just inaccurate. Some of the memories do HURT ME! His memory of "us" seeing a movie that came out last year, and yet I havent been to the theatre in almost 3 years, or what happened to the bracelet I bought you, when he's NEVER bought me a bracelet in 13 years because I dont generally wear them, etc... I know it may seem selfish, considering HE'S the one going through this, but really....how do I DEAL WITH THIS...living with someone who seems like a stranger at more times than not? Do I, or can I leave in good conscience and find a way to be guilt free? Has anyone ever gone through a similiar situation? It seems like I am the only one concerened about HIS HEALTH! Posted on 06/04/09, 01:06 pm |
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I just wanted to add today's oddities...I'm actually scared.
Hubby came in from his 1st job (he should be on disability, but he is stubborn), and he asked me to get his clothes "out of the porch", and after 5 attempts FINALLY said, "out of my work bag", laughed and fell asleep. He says his head is KILLING HIM! I woke him at 3pm, He wanted b-day before going to his 2nd job (that he doesnt need to be doing either). He woke, his head still pounding, he was doing what I called fishy breathing, short and shallow, barely holding his head u, and shaking REAL BAD, and still the headache. He ate his cake, and was telling me abobut a guy at work whose wife doesn't expect him to make it long..(heart, seems to be happening ALOT here with painters). I asked him if that made him want to get help, and he said "explicative, No! I am not paying anymore doctors or hospitals when they wont do nothing to help me". He said he was gonna do only half his job and be done with it. Today, he looks HORRIBLE. He won't get help. NO doctor will tell me at what point I should overide him and take him, and I cant really make him go against his will anyway. Im confused, scared, and sad. 
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Wow--this sounds terrifying!
I guess first, I'm wondering if your husband is of the age that Alzheimer's could be coming on. Also, how different is his behavior (the way he treats you, etc) from the past? Something medically serious is obviously happening. I am shocked that he'd rather deal with all the pain--I wonder if he is capable of making that decision, or if his rationality is being effected somehow. I wonder if there is someone you could consult with regarding this to see if you have any rights that would usurp his in a situation like this. Maybe a doctor, lawyer, or disability rights person? I don't envy your position. I hope you are getting some support for yourself through this!!!
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sorry to hear what you are going thru.i know how hard it is to deal with someone who refuses medical treatment.he sounds like he's afraid of what's happening and afraid that if he does see a dr. he will have to deal with it(what you don't know can't hurt you?!).if you can somehow convince him,which sounds like a daunting task,that this is the only way he has a chance of getting better that would be best-if not it sounds like it may be just a matter of time before the decision may be out of his hands. i agree with jenkinsbride-you may have to look in to other options before he lets it go too long.i also hope that you have a good support system because i know it makes a difference. i will be thinking of you and hope you keep us posted. hugs and prayers sent your way! noreen
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I am sorry for forgetting that part. Hubby just turned 32 yesterday.
and to update...as bad as he was yesterday when he left, he came home singing and completely on top of the world. Mood swing. He was always moody, just now he cant remember them, or they are worse. He called from lunch to ask me if he took his pills, 3 hours prior. Ugh.I was seriously considering trying to get power of attorney, where by I can MAKE him go to the doctor, or at least have some pull. Right now, hed have to sign, and Im sure he wouldnt.
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Is there a history of mental illness in your husband's family? Or has he considered maybe there is a cyst or something going on in his brain that could be causing all this odd behavior and memory loss? I hope that you can convince him to see a doctor. Hearing that he is only 32 makes it even more alarming!
Good luck--my thoughts are with you. :o) --Jessy
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History of mental illness??? Hmmm his mother was something called Bi Polar. She passed away in 06' from what the autopsy showed as aspirin overdose. She was 49. His dad has early signs of dementia/alzhemiers at age 65. Other than those, im not sure. Are those things hereditary?
Also, we have asked both his cardio dr. and his PCP aabout him maybe taking something to help with this memory mood swing stuff...They agree he needs something done, and they agree that most if not all the meds used to treat anxiety depression mood swings etc...would lower his BP and heart rate to an even lower and even more dangerous level. They have suggested that perhaps "I" should take something for me to better handle "him". I have no mental illness aside form major stress. I am not sure I should be taking anything. I just don't know. As far as hubby thinking anything....he so rarely completes a thought before jumping to another, and often argues his own point to himself, that I wouldn't know one way or another how he feels, aside from denial.
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