Heart Failure Support Group

Your not winning your exhausted ... This disease definitly slowed me down a lot too. Have you tried asking your husband to go with you to the doctors? When my hubby went with me the doctor explained it all medically and he understands.

It sounds like your husband could use some more education on how this disease effects people. He may just want so badly for you to be well that he's refusing to consider the reality of how debilitating CHF can be. No matter, he needs to sort it out because you deserve no less than 100% support from him--we all need 100% from all of our loved ones! Now, I love men, but honest to goodness, they don't always understand subtle hints (sorry guys--hate to generalize, but it seems somewhat widespread). Hit him over the head with exactly what the stats are, how this disease effect people, and just how badly you are feeling.
Please don't apologize or think that you are whining. We on this site know exactly what you are talking about.

I wish my husband would tell me if he is feeling this way. He sleeps about 14 hours a day. We live in the UK where we have had zero after care, after 2 weeks in hospital. I read these messages and all the specifics you all know about your conditions: percentages and terminology. All I know is my husband has 'heart failure' due to excessive smoking and drinking. He is on Lisinpril, Caridcor and Frusomide and has not had ad rink in over months but is truggling to stop smoking. And he sleeps all the time. But he is also a lazy person. he has not worked in 15 years. (Sorry they won't let me start a discussion on here, when i try to fill in the form it goes to a page asking for my name but there is no blank to fill it in).

Anyway re your husband if you are in the US where you pay for proper health care, get your doctor to have a good talk with both of you. It sounds like you should not be working any more. Or not right now anyway.

And re: men, they are not used to the caring role. It is hard for them. Just their nature i'm afraid. When I was in hospital (for cessarian) mine hardly ever visited me; but I visited him all the time. Just how it is.

Good luck

He has gone with me to the doctor and he still doesn't get it. I miss alot of work and he gets annoyed because he is afraid I will lose my job. I am also afraid of this we can't afford to go with only one income. I am just so tired. I take 8 pills every morning and 4 every night I don't sleep well except when I am so exhausted and sick which happens often. I take vitamins also but it doesn't stop me from catching whatever is going around.

i don't have a husband but i do have to explain to my family members that i get tired easily & i really don't feel like doing things with them. i do feel good a lot of the time though. i had thought i might need to go on disability. i think you should ask your doctor if you are really able to work. maybe you could go on short disability from work 1st then you might improve. if not you may need to be on social security disability.

wendy..i feel so much for you...what a difficult situation to be in..first and foremost yu need to stand for yourself and your health...tell him...and then be sure to discuss whether you should be working rite now...yu only have so much energy and stamina..and if you continue to work when you feel like this...yu will have nothing for yu...your husband does need some education on how to LIVE with heart failure..this does not just affect the patient..my husband told me that if i were to lose my disability he would not want me to work...it would be hard financially but the cost to me would be tooooo high...sounds to me like you have to look realistically at your health and what YU can do..not what others think you can do..and go with that...if you are tired...yu MUST rest..everything else is second to that..the line that really brought this home to my hubby was...if this had happened to YOU do you think i would allow you to do what you want me to do....he stopped dead in his tracks and that brought the reality home..if i tackle life the way i used to I would not be around now...bottom line...yu have to take care of you FIRST..keep us posted..we are pulling for YOU>>>

Wendy--

I hate to advocate yet another pill, but I have to say, Ambien has changed my life for the better. I'm an insomniac with CHF, and that basically means that I can't fall asleep and then my body needs twelve hours a lot of nights. So if I'm up til four a.m., tossing and turning, I'm not going to wake up until four p.m, or even later. Controlling when I fall asleep, via Ambien, has really empowered me. It's let me get back to my job and my graduate studies. It's been amazing.

Fishwife--

I'm sorry, but if you chalk things up to laziness, that's really not fair to your husband. Okay, the fact that he hasn't quit smoking yet, that's kind of lazy, but you're dealing with a fatal and often debilitating disease here. Blaming laziness is likely just going to drive a wedge between you, and make your husband less likely to be honest with you about his emotions and his health. Not to go all negative, but there's a good chance these are going to be the last few years you spend together-- do you want to spend that time with that gulf between you?

Also, before you go romanticizing the US healthcare system, I have virally caused CHF. I'm thirty years old. I got it within weeks of finally getting insurance. So now my insurance company is trying to prove that it's a pre-existing condition. Essentially, my insurance company is trying to refuse to pay for any of it-- and it comes tens of thousands of dollars, not including any future expenses. There's a good likelihood of this whole example of just bad luck bankrupting me completely, and making me unable to afford future treatment. Essentially, my insurance company is trying to bankrupt me and then kill me. It's not exactly the best of all possible worlds over here.

Comic Sans - I don't mean to at all glamourise the US healthcare system - I know how it is - my father was on on life support due to a sever stroke and they wanted to unplug his machines when the insurance ran out! All I meant was that you all seem to know a lot more about your conditions, whereas here in the UK it seems so vague. We know so little because no on can take any time for the patients because the healthcare is so overstretched already.