Heart Attack Support Group

Hi Sylvie,
I was so depressed after my recent MI and I was already dealing with depression over other issues so it can be crushing. I felt so out of control, damaged, useless, diseased. I felt I would never be able to do anything ever again. Your boyfriend is probably having many of these feelings and probably some we women can't understand.

I was already taking an antidepressant which my cardi left me on. I had a lot of anxiety and he has given me some Xanax, although that is strictly short term. However, I believe both of these meds have helped me get through the last few weeks. I had my MI on 5/24/09.

People who are depressed often shut people out of their lives. I hope he will at least talk to his MD and start reading and posting on this blog. It has helped me.

Happy thoughts and prayers to you and your boyfriend.
Pam

give him some time

Hi Sylvie,

Pam gives some very good advice and insight, particularly the bit about the feelings and especially the bit about reading and posting on the support groups. It does help.

It is very understanding on Pam to say that men may have different feelings that women can't understand - it's a very real possibility - I know in my own case I was the big tough provider - and I was knocked over by 9mm of plaque rupturing in my left anterior descending artery. Its like being beaten badly by an aggressor - it's not the action, its the unavoidability of the outcome.

The main thing is not to let people sit and think its the end - it very rarely is - has your boyfriend got someone who he looks up to? Has he a mentor or similar who can go and listen to him and say "Yes it's terrible, but it's time to move towards getting back into control." In the nicest prossible way of course!

My kindest regards to you

Hi Sylvie,

Paul has offered some good insight into what is going on and ways to deal with it. Last Friday I saw a man I used to work with who had a heart attack 12 years ago. He coded twice. It took some time, but he returned to work and is still working there as far as I know. I had not seen him in probably 5 years and I really felt God had us 'run into each other at Wal-Mart' because he certainly reminded me that life goes on after a heart attack, and I really needed that reassurance that day.

If your boyfriend will not attend a support group encourage him to come here and post some of his feelings. He can be as anonymous as he wants, or he can become good friends with some of these wonderful folks who spend their time sharing and helping.

Best of luck to your boyfriend and you. I'm sending happy thought and prayers to you both.

Pam

I really appreciate your support and insight. unfortunately I still have not talked to him and certainly will give him time. He refuses to get on any site for groups support, does not own a computer. Still will not answer my calls, although i've only texted him to tell him i love him. I am trying to give him time and hope he will speak to someone. I printed some of your messages and left them at his house so he'll know he's not alone. No idea if he read it. I really don't want to lose him in the process and worry continuously. I send prayers to all of you for well being

Well done Sylvie, I think you've done great and as much as you can. He's lucky to have you!

Paul