What is Healthy Sex
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to hav...
Join Now
|
How to blow his mind?
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Let me start off by saying I absolutely love having sex with my guy, its amazing!
Now on to my complaints (lol) -He sticks to standard missionay or cowgirl -He likes foreplay, but it constists of me touching his junk -He doesnt cuddle before/after/during/EVER! I know that we can bring in toys and props but I would really like to just have it be us and only us... Im sick and somedays my hips can be very stiff, he is a big guy (chubby) so if Im on top of him my knees are barely on the bed, its hard to move. I want him to touch me more, I want him to pleasure me. I want sexually abused when I was a kid and oral sex is something that is touchy to me. I want to go down on him, but I dont know how to tell him once I start it may bring up bad memories (I have done it since I was forced to) When I first started dating him (before we were having sex) he told me how great sex would be and how he loves to eat a girl out and how he feels he is good at it... Why havent I seen these amazing skills? He often tells me how nice my boobs are, but has only really gone at them once. I feel like if he would touch me and make me feel like what I am doing feels good our sex life would be better. He told his friend I am a 'lazy lay' I want to do more and mae him enjoy it, but if he isnt willing to give me mine why should I go out of my way.. I would love to blow his mind just once to show him how great things could be if he put effort into it :) I guess my question is, how can I ask for more without making it sound like I dont like what we already have? How can I show him there is more to sex than 'old married couple sex?' How can I show him that with some effort things could be great everytime we go at it? Thanks :) Posted on 11/02/09, 03:11 pm |
| 12 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
talk to him during sex let him know what feels good.
does he know about your abuse? 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Im not sure bout all of it but maybe to spice things a lil, try light bondage (scarf tied loosely & blindfolded) Then u can do to him what u want. Stick ur boobs in his face, suck his cock. Try pop rocks or altoids while u give him head. Sit on his face.
LOL not sure he or u would be up for it but might help a lil. Good Luck Cathy
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I have told him I was abused and that Im uncomfortable with certain things but with time I will open up and try them..
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
actually babyebear......he sounds like the lazy lover to me.....and it doesnt sound like hes being very understanding of what happened to you in the past..xo
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
show him this post.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I totally agree with Lucilu and furthermore I think it is terrible that he told his friend that you are a "lazy lay". I am sorry but I couldn't have sex with him after that. Sweetie you deserve way better than him. If a man really loves you he wouldn't say that in my opinion. I know that is not what you wanted to hear but I am being honest with you. Big HUGS!!~XX~
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I have to admit, this post did floor me slightly when I first read it yesterday. So he already knows that you're working through a few personal things from your past, but he told your friend that you're a "lazy lay"?
That would be utterly disloyal in any relationship, but when there's also abuse issues it's even more insensitive. How the hell is that supposed to help build up your confidence to try different things with him? My advice, if you want to work at this relationship? Sit your boyfriend down for a coffee and a "clothes on" talk. First, you need to let him know that talking to his friend like that is completely unacceptable. Offloading to your friends about your partner's bad cooking, domestic habits, etc might be fair game, but this isn't. If he's big enough to apologise and realise how hurtful that is, maybe then you can both move on to talking about what you both want to try in bed, and how to vary things in a way that you're both happy with. Try to make sure it stays positive on both sides, stay away from complaints and instead focus on what you'd like to do differently. For example "I'd like to try different positions" will come over much better than "I'm sick of you always wanting to do missionary." Good luck with this one!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Ok, 1st of all if u say that sex with ur man is amazing then u say in the next paragraph that u have a list of complaints. Somethin is fishy!
I too have been sexuall abused in my past. So, I know what u've gone thru. If u ever need to talk. It wouldnt be a prob with me. IDK how u would feel about it. But I think i would come at him like this. If u really r game and wanna show him what it "could" be like. I would say to him. I know you've told whomever it was that I'm a lazy lay. Which I'm sorry but he had no business ever sayin that to any of his buddies! So I think U should let me show u what it really could be like at least on my end. Then the next time in the bedroom. U need to make sure u bring ur A game. While ur bringin ur A Game u can also direct him urself on what u want him to do. Maybe that will change his whole perspective on this ordeal! I've been married for over 12 yrs. I'm tellin u there is no reason for u to be havin "old ppl" sex. I dont even do that.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Good lord take control.
you people act like your lovers are strangers. Do what you want to do, don't ask for permission. Stick you finger in his ass when he ain't looking. Find that good ole G-spot. Make him cry in happiness.
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
