Healthy Sex Support Group

He like to be teased?

OK, so on the one hand he's telling you to take control and not listen to what he says, and then on the other he's finding fault and complaining whenever you do try to do things your own way? You need to talk that out with him and work out what's going on there. It might turn out that you just need to 'punish' him all the more severely for every bit of back-chat that he gives you, but don't take for granted that that's what he expects.

Have you negotiated a few simple rules together with clothes on? e.g. which activities are strictly out, and which ones you could surprise him with during a session? That might give him a starting point.
(And it's never wise to assume for example that everyone just *loves* being spanked so of course he'll be happy with that - you'd be surprised at what simple things can 'trigger' someone back to unpleasant past memories.)

Apart from that, try reading a bit of femdom fiction for ideas and inspiration. And also think a little about your own costume. It doesn't have to be anything horrendously expensive, but what kind of outfit(s) will help you adopt the right frame of mind?

And finally, safety, safety, safety ........................ always have a safeword in place. Find out as much as you possibly can about safety; never feel embarrassed to say "sorry, I don't feel comfortable doing that because I'm worried about you choking/ getting an injury/ pulling a muscle/ whatever"

good suggestion, Phoenix.

..ok..babe..if he really wants a dom then you need to take complete control and don't listen to his whinning......infact...if he whines give him a good spanking on the ass and tell him to be quiet......( u may want to have some spanking soother cream in the house as well, cause he may well end up getting a real sore ass as he sounds like a really bad boy to me.)
get a good pair of handcuffs, tough ones....and good strong rope.....and a gag for his mouth so that he can only speak when.....YOU...allow him to.....cause your the lady in control.........ball gags are good...........and then he will not be able to whinge in your ear.....and then let your shewolf come out.........ggggrrrrrrr......................

Rather than handcuffs, I'd suggest a really good set of leather wrist cuffs instead. Less danger of doing any damage to the wrists with those, so they're worth spending a bit of money on.

thanks guys especially pheonix and lucilu i will try all of this

sammydeg.....................make sure you look the part as well.....and girl....u will need to leave any shyness u have behind u..infact this will really help you get more assertive and confident..xo

Lucilu

You sound like quite the lion tamer there lol

www.fetlife.com....Go there. There are forums to help Dom/sub relationships. Especially newbies. Daily Strengh is good but the lifestyle has nuiances of powerplay that can be learned from a plethera of Masters...Good luck and may the dark side treat you and your partner well.

lol...@ jeremy.....................i will be putting me old lion taming skills to the test this friday night........and i also have something sorta kinky planned for the week after but it will not include any kind of sex.......just total domination..............