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Dwindling Sex
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Ok, here's the deal - I need to know what you think, especially the men. Recently, well the past three months I have been the one to initaite sex with my boyfriend. I drop hints here and there, but decided not to intiate it the last three weeks to see if he does (its been an excrutiatingly painful wait...). Well he hasn't. I randomly asked if he has jacked off recently and he had... automatically I'm wondering whats wrong with me. But he's gaining weight and I bust must ass and run at least a mile and a half daily. He used to not be able to resist me, and in all honesty, I used to be more of a vixen... He has a jealous streak and prefers not to be around people so I sorta eliminated my social life, including girlfriends, to help him cope, but now I'm becoming a bit resentful. I feel like I deserve to feel pretty and the attention that goes with it and he won't give it to me. Maybe he's started to take it all for granted? I know part of the reason he fell for me was because of the attention... HELP!
Posted on 08/09/09, 04:08 pm |
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Sorry to hear. I am watching my own relationship crumble so if you gain any insight please pass along 
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My honest opinion? The first step is to get back in touch with your friends and get your social life going again. He might *think* he won't like that, but just because you're in a relationship you still need your own life.
And besides, having to give up your social life for a boyfriend just seems to me like a major red flag for an abusive relationship. Do you really want to keep putting up with that just to see how much worse things might get? I think it's very likely that he is now taking you for granted a little bit. Perhaps getting your own life back will shake him up enough to make him realise what he's got. However if he's really that selfish and manipulative that he can't bear to share you with your friends, you're unlikely to change that about him. That's something that he needs to sort out for himself with counselling, if he's willing to. But on the plus side, at least you'll have some friends in your life again!
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Thank you - its so great to hear an opinion from another woman. I've already told him I need to reconnect with who I am - I took my daughter to the fair without him yesterday and he met up with us after work... I saw him glare at a couple of men, but he didn't say anything. I also want to start ballroom dancing - he doesn't want me to dance with another guy. There happened to be a ballroom dance performance and when the salsa couples came out he gave me a look. I said, it could be me up there next year." and he said, "yeah with some guy." It felt so good to have some sort of reaction/attention from him. Still no sex last night, but I encouraged him to go up the hill and hang out with his friends so we could have time apart - he was reluctant but before he left he kissed me and it caused an erection... its a good sign.
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This mite be painfull to hear but unless there is a medical reason or he is overly stressed about something I would have to say that your relationship is done.Beings that you say he has a jealous streak you mite want to make a clean break before he shows you and your daughter a side you don't really want to see.
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a guys opinion here if you want it. if he loves you then it might be stress, weight gain, depression addiction, all causing problems with guys wanting sex. Guys are not as open about their problems which is not good for either party... I think it is great that you are reaching out. He should see his general practice doc for starters.....
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Well, could be, and I've brought that up - that with the time to think, I might not be what he wants anymore, and I need more from him... He says I'm the one, and sometimes the drive comes and goes, that its normal. I just am not used to the pause in drive - I've never had to deal with it before, and it raises a lot of questions for me. He thinks we'll get through it.
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I'm sorry sweetie....but sex drive is the very least of his problems...You need to run kicking and screaming from a man that is that jealous!! He is very insecure, obviously. It will always be your fault...you will never get a break from this type personality. Believe me, I was you for 26 years. I'm free now and living my life like I should have for all those years. RED FLAGS....all over your post!
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sorry, i've never been able to identify with a guy who doesn't want sex every day.
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...or twice a day. Three times on saturday and sunday.
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Everything is on HIS terms what about your life, your friends, your needs.
WARNING!!!!! Get out while you still can... Sorry about being abrupt BUT, you are missing out on life.
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