Healthy Eating Support Group

Crystic I will try to relate as best as possible, but I know emotional eating can be different for everyone.

When I first got into healthy eating/working out I was doing it all wrong. I was actually severely under eating and it was causing me to binge. I think at that time I was more concerned with my appearance then health, and the more I binged the more I started to become upset by it. Over time it actually led to me considering purging, and the cycle was starting to be created. Without wanting to go down that road I had to seriously reconsider what I was doing, so I just stopped everything. I let my body recalibrate and get back to normal. In the process of that I lost all my progress, it was difficult to just try to forget about health. I wanted my body to learn to tell me when it was hungry, not just eat because I was upset or binge because I had short handed it.

I guess the overall important factor here for me was that I was upset by the fact that I spent so much time learning and working only to "give up." But I eventually learned that being healthy is a never ending quest. You will eventually obtain your goals if you want to, but it takes time, and for me that's where the feeling of accomplishment comes from.

I think if you put your all into trying again, and ask for help when you need it, you will succeed. If you ever need any help or input on dieting just ask us, or even pm me. I don't think dieting should be extremely hard, but some people manage to make it that way.

Among all things, you need to explore more deeply why you are afraid. Did your that relationship with someone you cared about become something that you thought it wasn't because of your appearance? Are you afraid to look good because it might recreate a relationship like that?

I can relate but in a little different way. When I first started gaining weight (some 80 pounds ago) my husband rejected me. He says it is not me but I think its me. He has always been fat phobic. I am afraid to get thin and know what a A hole he really is. So for 10 years now I want to lose but I am scared too. So I gain.

Cinnamin, your husband is a d***. Fat phobic? What an ass! Do it for you and only you.

Crysticflyer, I feel a lot like you do. I'm very much an emotional eater and it sabotages any progress I can make. I also deal with depression and anxiety and am on medication for both.

It's a daily struggle but I just think that if I can get past the emotional eating part of it, I would be so successful. So I've made myself a goal to lose 20-30 pounds by the end of summer and get into better shape so I can join the tennis team when my classes start again. I used to play tennis everyday.

Having a reason, a goal, helps a lot and keeps me from giving up. It's so hard, I feel your pain.

And as hard as it is, don't be afraid to look good. I know I use my weight to keep people away too. It's easier, it's safer, atleast that's what my subconscious tells me. But it's lonely and it hurts me in the end. If you'd like to chat, friend me. Maybe we can help eachother.

Wow, this is a deep topic. And, in my experience I feel like I have gone full circle. Having been a wild child up until 29..I came to believe being thin got me hurt or in trouble. Like being my worst enemy.
Then when I got on the right path I switched one pleasure for another and it became sugar.
Then came a baby then a spinal fusion and boom major weight gain.
I felt phobic for years getting back to my normal weight. Cinnamint, I was actually scared I could do something to hurt my marriage b/c under this girth there is this person that I am afraid could get leared right back into temptation. I can't believe I am saying this but its the truth. Thats how I felt for a very long time.
What changed for me was when my husband of 18 years became a real jerk b/c of a treatment he was taking. He couldn't help it but he still became a mean SOB and I was very stressed and ate whatever, I didn't care. And, slept alot. Then all it took was getting my labs back and seeing I was there. Hi trig, hi choles,high fasting blood sugar, pain out the whazoo and I finally got mad enough and determined to prove all of them that I could do it and I wasn't going to let anyone get in my way.
Maybe, getting close to 50 is part of the wake up call or all of the above. All I know is I want me back whether he likes it or not. This change will be for me. And, fortunately, I have matured to an age where I am not afraid of who I am w/o this extra weight.
So, my thoughts for you is... get selfish, think about "you", and realize you can do it with or without him.
We all get hurt in our marriages/rela. after time. But, all it takes is one thing to make you click the switch in your brain and say the heck with this I want this for me.

Hugs
BW

My weight gain came from emotional eating too. When I was married to a very controlling much older man...I had to weigh in daily so that I would not get fat. I was actually underweight. When I left him I went right into another relationship (I know, I know...). This guy was over weight and was very much a pleasure eater. He only ate highly palatable foods that were loaded with fats and sugars. I grabbed this diet with gusto and started gaining weight. I was okay with the first 25lbs or so, but I couldn't stop and gained about 100lbs. I lost my already fragile self-esteem and my sex drive. I didn't feel well and I didn't look well and I sprialed downward. He became critical of my weight and the lack of sex, which was down to 2-3 times a year.

When I tried to diet and exercise...he was 100% behind me...as long as I didn't expect him to change his ways. I couldn't lose weight with all of the unhealthy (yet addictive and tasty) foods he bought.

My eating and exercising habits changed for the better when I emotionally checked out of the relationship. I lost about 30lbs in a year by slowly resuming my formerly active lifestyle and eating foods in their more natural state--not loaded with fat, sugar, salt and other additives.

Now, I'm trying to lose another 20-30lbs. It's a very slow process, but there is progress.

Like Quest4knowledge, I started out all wrong with way too few calories and way too much exercise. I didn't lose weight. For over a month in 2007, I ate only 500 calories a day...and only lost a few pounds. The next month I couldn't quit eating and gained it all back + some.

It takes time to find your path and to build healthy eating and exercising habits. I think one reason I've been successful is that I haven't cut anything completely out of my diet. What I try to avoid the most is trans-fats and corn syrup. Do I still eat them? Sure, but not very often. If I do, I don't obsess over the failure...I just plug along like it never happened.

It is common for women to eat out of emotional deprivation OR fear of being thin. Sometimes a female feels she will act out forbidden sex urges if she gets attractive to men. Others fear they will be raped if they look good. Often they were raped or molested in the past and that led to their weight gain. As for being rejected by your significant other (or society in general) because of being overweight, even if you lose the weight, some people will reject you. It can be jealousy or some other reason known only to them! But isn't it easier to deal with life's various pains and disappointments as a healthy person? Being obese isn't healthy (I know this myself). It's tough to lose when we've been "hiding" under our fat. We've built up a lot of anger. We've repressed a lot of sexuality. It can be scary to "come out". Do not try to lose weight too fast! Your body and mind will be "shocked" and uncomfortable. Do it gradually and sneaky-like :) Fill yourself with healthy food so your body isn't starving. Little by little you'll come down.