HPV Support Group

It's true, men typically don't have any health problems with high-risk hpv. On the extreme end of the spectrum (but highly unlikely), they could penile cancer. He's probably just going ot the worst case scenerio which is normal. In time he'll calm down, so just ride out this storm with lots of patience. Also, tell him to talk to a doctor so they can releave his fears.

Tell him I said not to get his panties in a bunch. I have it too, and I am still living. It usually shows up more in women then men. Go figure. About 80% of women will get this by the time they are 50. And if he still has a problem with this. Then he is a dush bag, and he is not worth your time.

Your boyfriend is angry??? Maybe he should do a little bit more research on high risk HPV. There's no indication that it even effects men other than that they unwittingly pass it on to every woman with whom they are intimate. Take your boyfriend with you the next time you go to the doctor to help educate him a little bit. As for shots, if he has the virus, the vaccination is useless at this point. If he cannot be sympathetic, then he's not worth the stress. Sorry to sound so point blank, but women don't need this nonsense from men since it's the men that give us this virus in the first place.

On the other hand, you have to cut the guy some slack. He probably is very ignorant of what HPV is.

The infection could have come from him, sure. But it just as easily have gone from you to him.

Should he have more empathy for your health? Yes.

But if he is like most of us, we have never even heard of HPV until we have it.

The finger pointing begins because people feel as though one or the other has been stepping out on the relationship. Which can be true, but it is just as true the HPV can be from years before the current relationship.

Wow. I am with Jim on the probable lack of knowledge on your boyfriends part. There really is no use in pointing fingers because you both have it now. Just have the procedures done to get well and move on from this with or without him! You are too young to have to deal with stress from this girl! I hope he gains some understanding or he is just going to make his life harder. Stay positive and focus on your future! :)

I must tell you that I am furious that your boyfriend is furious, even though I understand the incredible amount of mis-information and confusion surrounding this very, very common virus. Men cannot even be tested for high risk HPV. They have no way of knowing they have it, and yet they pass it on to each woman that are in sexual contact with while the virus is active. I could see a man being upset if he contracted genital warts from a partner who knew they had that virus and did not share that information. But, high risk is a very different story. You would have no way to know you had it, even if you did contract it prior to your relationship with him. Nearly 80 percent of both men and women carry this virus, but most women never have an abnormal PAP and never know. Men have no way of knowing.

Here are some facts: The virus is almost NEVER dangerous to men. I don't actually think are ANY documented cases of penile cancer in men with healthy immune systems. The virus usually does not last very long in men, and causes no issues. Unless he has been living in cave, he was exposed to this virus prior to you. How does he know that he is not the one who gave it to you in the first place? I would think his first reaction would be concern that he might have given something to you that could potentially be dangerous for you. The one thing that high risk can cause in both men and women are cancers of the throat. This is still very uncommon and there is no way to test anyone for exposure. Just about everyone has been exposed to the virus orally, so there is no point in worrying about that. Oral cancers in non smokers caused by HPV are the most curable. Another thing you should know is that the virus can NOT be passed back and forth between you. Which ever one of you contracted the virus first, you both have been exposed to that strain now. If one of you clears the virus you cannot get that strain back from the other. You can contract a new strain with a new partner, but the two of you can actually continue whatever sexual practices you have already been engaged in with no fear of further exposure or new issues. The exception is that if he smokes, you cannot allow his semen to get near your cervix. Smoking, side smoke, and cigarette metabolites in semen, are very dangerous when you have dysplasia.

I don't know what he means about paying for shots. I don't believe the vaccine is available at all to men yet, although I have heard they are working on it. But, in any case the vaccine does nothing for existing viruses, it only protects against strains you do not already have.

I am so sorry that you are going through all this. A supportive partner would be of great help to your immune system. I wish he was thinking of your health and welfare, not being so beyond self-absorbed and selfish. However, you at least, need to take good care of yourself.

I am not sure what your doctor means by "a great deal of dysplasia". You need to have all this clarified. The concern is what level of dysplasia you have. Is it CIN 1, 11, or 111? If it is CIN 11 or 111 then they would probably do a LEEP procedure. Have you even had a colposcopy or biopsy so far? You need to be able to have really good communication with your doctor, including being able to discuss your boyfriend's concerns.

In any case, he really has nothing to worry about.

Good luck with everything.