What is Graves Disease
Graves-Basedow disease is a medical disorder that may manifest several different conditions including hyperthyroidism (over activity of thyroid hormone production), infiltrative ex...
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I feel myself slipping away more every day . . .
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I have a hard time putting in words what I want to say. Graves has taken away the me I have always known. I was very organized, alert, whitty, very patient, and positive until Graves. I felt like I was on top of the world, I had tons of friends and was very bright. Nothing really got me down or got in my way. Graves came into my life and changed me. I am so easily defeated, I feel anxiety and anger every day! I cry a lot and to be honest I get confused very easily. I feel cloudy headed and can only take directions if they are told very slowly. I feel like I am lesser than others around me because I am often the only one who doesn't catch on or needs to read instructions again. I type much slower and forget how to spell everything. My memory is totally shot and I feel very hopeless. People at work comment more and more that I am a dig bat and don't listen. I just want to crawl into a ball and cry. It hurts so bad but I put on a smile and laugh it off. No one knows how personally I take it. I spend each moment of my life hoping the old me will return. I am to the point where it is hard to drive because I can not concentrate and everything distracts me.I excersise all the time, eat healthy, and stay very busy to pick myself up. I have a wonderful job in sales, I own a house by the beach, have two great dogs, an amazing set of friends, family, and the best guy in the world. I have evrything but myself. Please share with me how you all deal with this and ANYTHING that has worked for you. I am determined to find a way to stop the progression of my disease. I have even considered making a career change into a feild that will help me and others live with Graves. It is eating me up and taking so much from me. I am so sad and so angry and I really need advice and help. Thank you so much!
Posted on 12/15/07, 12:12 am |
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At some point, I felt like I wasn't the same person. I had not even half the energy I used to have. I now liked to stay home and relax instead of being more active. I have gone through waves of depression since going through rai and dealing with hypo symptoms.
Now that I have found some sort of chemical balance, I feel I'm still not the same person I was when I was hyper. This disease is a frustrating thing to deal with, because it literally effects every aspect of your life somehow. 
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I am with you...I saw a reference to
www.stopthethyroidmadness on this site and I have found it very helpful. May be of use to others out there. Good luck.
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Talk to your endo and let him (or her) know exactly how you are feeling. If you don't think your are being 'listened' to find another doctor. Also make sure you have a good internist who is checking you. I know when you go from totally healthy to all this YUCK, it isn't fun going to docs, but sometimes you have to grin and bear it to come to a 'mutual understanding' with Graves.
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I to am going through the same things as you. Everything that was, is no more. Im finding it very difficult to cope with the changes. I own a small farm where I raise beef, pigs and chickens. I dont have the energy to continue doing that. We've sold all the animals,rented out the farm and moved to a small house by the water. Its all I can do just to get through the day doing minimal tasks. I have been told by my doctor that this is a temporary part of the disease. The graves part will always be there but the thyroid part is maintainable. I was told that after a period of time (1 year ) my thyroid should level off. The graves part is maintained by watching your stress levels, good diet and lots of rest. So even though I get depressed about my situation I feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel . I hope this has been helpful. I have only been on this site for a few weeks and already have found so much help and support. This is a wonderful site
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I feel the same way. I know haw hard it is to go to work everyday and feel like a total idiot. But how do you explain something like this to some one who knows nothing about it? Crying, anxiety, panic attacks make everything so much better. I'm so sick of telling my kids that I don't feel good and someday I might feel better. See even now I feel like I'm babbling. All I want to say is I know exactly how you feel.
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I read every word you wrote and God,do I know how you feel. It is so annoying when people can't understand what you are going through. I just find it easier to tell people I am fine even if I feel hat my world is falling apart and if I meet new people I hide my disease from them. The hardest part of it all for me is that my husband doesn't understand this whole thing and he thinks that I am a drama queen. I always used to be so active and outgoing but in the past few years I am slowly becoming a loner. I hate myself for it and some days I feel so depressed. And I hate myself for not being the perfect mother to my kids all the time. I get so tired sometimes and the last thing I wanna do is going for a bike ride with them. I don't want them to grow up all lazy just because of me. I hate this stupid Grave's Disease and I wish I knew why I got it. Do you ever ask yoursel that?
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I totally feel your pain. It has only been this last year that my husband is finally understanding I'm not the same and can't do everything I used to do. The old me will never be back, so I try every day to except the new me. You do need to tell your boss, as graves is a disability and they need to be understanding of it. When I was given the news I had graves, I was running two insurance offices, handle my husband three business books, help on our farm, just lost my mother and a son heading to Iraq. That was six or seven years ago and I'm just now in the last year feeling much better, because I'm finally accepting it. I did resign from my insurance job almost three years ago, our son is now out of the service and my husband finally understands if I need to rest I need to rest. I wish sometimes I could have the old me back who use to live on only five hours of sleep, happly go lucky, etc. Now I get at least eight hours a sleep a night and I try to live the happly go lucky attitude, but with the new me. You are in our thoughts!
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I noticed that I am not the same person I was before I got Graves Disease. I ended up looking at myself in the mirror one day and said you may not be the same person but I like you anyway. Ever since I faced that I feel better about myself. I am not as outgoing as I used to be but I still put my best foot forward and try to live my life without thinking about the Graves Disease. I think a lifetime of going to counselors has taught me to roll with the punches. You have to like who you are in order to feel good about yourself. If you dwell on the fact that you are not the same person you will never like yourself. It does get better. It takes time but it does. My suggestion is to go to a counselor who is an impartial person you can talk to and bounce things off of.
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These are all well known symptoms.....I am wondering how your thyroid levels are doing? When was the last time you had them checked? I can't help but think that they must be way off and medication needs adjusting or something? I am so sorry you are feeling so aweful. I know that doesn't help, but do know we are all there with you!
Blessings on you....
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