Grandparents Raising Children Support Group

Thanks, Kayjay! It's always nice to hear positive things -- especially from those who know exactly what we're dealing with! :-)

I just met a young women in her early 30's. she told me she was dropped off at her GM home when she was five and raised by her GM who was 70 years old. She told me if it wasn't for her GM she had no idea where she would be today. As sad as it was listening to her tell me her story, this made me feel warm inside cause I know I'm doing the right thing! The one thing I did pick up from her is the hurt she still felt today that her parents dropped her off at GM.

Thanks, I needed that today!

What upsets me is my son's refusal to acknowledge the FACT that had I not stepped in and got DCFS involved, his son WOULD have eventually been either hurt, dead, or sent to an unrelated foster home, or ended up living a life being dragged from one boyfriend's house to the next by his drug addicted mother. Even if she eventually got herself together, how many formative years would have gone by with him being exposed to the lifestyle of the drug addict(s)? How many dangerous situations would he have been in? It would just be nice to hear the bios thank us, with genuine and heartfelt gratitude, for stepping in and taking care of their children. But, most of them are hateful, refuse to take any blame, and continue to accuse us of stealing their children or taking them away when they were "perfectly fine" with them....yea, right. My GS is only 5 and he has expressed more understanding & gratitude concerning my role in his life than my 24 year old son has.

I agree, Sara, it is great to hear that from someone else who is experiencing the same thing. I know we all hear things like, "you're a saint to do what you do" or "those grandkids will sure keep you young" etc.......but most of those people really have no concept of what it is really like.

GMWilli your son is still in the addict frame of thinking he is selfish and will blame everyone but himself for what has happened thats the way they are. Addiction is a disease they make the first choice or mistake of taking the drugs then after that it becomes out of control, the drugs control them their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Until your son gets sober he will not make sense and see things as they are. You will not get the recognition you deserve from him until at some point he stops using and maybe gets some help for his addiction like rehab. Now that my daughter has been clean for 5 months and has gone to rehab she sees things for what they are and its so nice to have her give me that pat on the back instead of attacking me verbally etc. I have been going to after care meetings with her since she got out of rehab, they are very similar to Alanon meetings. There is so much support out there for us aswell i would really encourage anyone in my situation like yourself to attend some Alanon meetings. We really need the support aswell. I really hope things work out for all of us. Thank you kjaynev for the support we can all use it.

This fact has come home to my girls twice with girls they know. The latest one is waiting to see if her mom goes to prison and then she goes to FC. My youngest asked her about her grands and she said they wouldn't and the gma was mean to her anyways so she didn't want to go there.
S has talked about this a lot and has said she is glad that we are her parents now :)

Thank you so much! That was the deciding factor.....did I want a young lady knocking on my door and asking why I never stepped in and stopped the abuse and loved her.......Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do........going up against many in my family. But I know ww dud the right thing. This gd has had a year of stability and free from abuse and drugs. And onward we go. mom still using and drinking. We are all awesome! And the Papas too!

EVERYONE... lift up your left arm bend it over your right shoulder and hat your selves on the back!!

Thanks I needed that! I so need to check in here more often. We are pretty amazing aren't we!