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Little one lieing
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My little onealmost 5 has started lieing. I can watch him do something and he will say he did not and be adamant that he did not do it. I tell him to quit lieing and he says I ain't lieing. This is so frustrating. I tell him he should not lie, and he says but I didn't lie. I am pulling my hair out, trying to figure out why he feels he has to lie. Anyone go through this, any suggestions??????????? Is this a passing phase????
Posted on 10/28/09, 02:10 pm |
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I suspect it is a passing phase. We can find something totally destroyed and "Not Me" is always responsible. If toys are all over the floor and "Not Me" did it, the toys get packed away in the attic or tossed.
We've told them that the punishment for lying will always be worse than the punishment for the original bad deed, and that seems to work - sometimes. They've lost snacks, had to stay in their rooms, lost other privileges, etc. and they still try a lie out first. The middle child is the worst - maybe because she's responsible for most of the naughty things that happen. I think they're growing out of it as they realize that we consider lying worse than breaking things or leaving things around. Hope it changes! 
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I don't know if this will help or not, but I read not to ever give kids the chance to say they didn't do it. Just say that I know you did this, and we need to talk about it because most kids, if given the chance to deny they did something, will deny it because they don't want to get into trouble. Once they are given the chance to deny it, they can get into the habit of lying.
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Kat, that is interesting. I've never heard that, but it makes sense, at least when possible to do. If you have 3 kids, you might not know which one did the deed, but it seems like a good principle to use when you can.
Sara, I did the same with my kids, and my son still lies terribly. The girls have turned into very responsible young ladies. I think the difference also lies in the personality of the individual. Sometimes my son would get in so much trouble for LYING, that I just could never understand WHY he kept it up! The original deed was nothing compared to the trouble he got in as the lies progressed! I'd be interested in hearing other people's ideas, as my little almost 4yo has already started trying it out also.
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When I married my husband, he had three adolescents. It was just like the Three Bears. The eldest never lied, the middle one always tried out a lie first, and the youngest (Her) ALWAYS lied.
Now that they're in their 30s, the eldest is happily married, incredibly successful, responsible, etc. The middle is still looking for the perfect mate, somewhat successful, somewhat responsible, and SHE is a drug-addled mess. Still like the Three Bears! HAHAHAHA!
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