Gay Parenting Support Group

No advice but congrats, thats wonderful!!!!

Thanks so much!!!!

I am a 42 yo single Dyke mom currently working as a nanny and studying to become a Doctor of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine. I would be happy to lend any support from my experience. There is a couple here in the Seattle area who just learned that after 8 years of trying they are both pregnant simultaneously and one partner is having twins while the other is having a singleton. They are expecting three simultaneously but will have 2 moms giving birth within days of each other.

My first wish for you is that you make friends online or in person with any other mom, straight or gay that has exclusively breastfed multiples successfully. The medical establishment may try to tell you to supplement automatically but it is almost never necessary with twins and may not be necessary with your children. In Ireland mothers of twins routinely drink a few ounces of Guiness Stout for the Hops to increase Breastmilk production. I had planned a home birth and had to have an unwanted C Section. C section often gives children problems in learning to latch correctly, in our case, it took my daughter 7 months to get the hang of it. With what I've learned at conferences since them, we could have fixed her latch in 3 days. So it is really important to have that resource ready before you need them. In hospital Lactation consultants were not knowledgeable about this and caused my daughter and I great harm.

The problem is that the more extra work you put on yourselves with multiples, the more exhausted you are likely to be and the less energy you will have left to simply enjoy becoming a family together.

The nursing will increase oxytocin, the bonding hormone, save your sanity, diminish the risk of postpartum depression which can be more prevalent with multiples and prevent many common health challenges that multiples can face. It will also save you a fortune in orthodontics later. My daughter is 3 3/4 and still nursing and will not need all the work I did on my mouth because the action of nursing changes bone/teeth structure as a child grows optimizing dental structures.

Also in my nanny practice, I find that bottle fed children do not always reach their intellectual potential. I have experienced a marked difference when a nursing mom switches to supplementing with formula to go back to work or because she doesn't have a supportive community, the child just seems drugged, sluggish and unintelligent for awhile while his or her breastfed peers seem to continue excelling.

Exclusively breastfed children also seem to self soothe more quickly and get sick less often.

The second thing I would wish for you is to supplement NOW with Nordic Naturals DHA or your health care provider's choice of EFAs. Women giving birth to any child but especially their second or later or multiples experience a proufound loss of essential fatty acids and this can lead directly to postpartum mood disorders. In my case, despite having only the one daughter and a very informed Naturopathic Doctor/midwife, my levels got too low and I went into a huge chemical depression for 6 months after my daughter was born. Once I got my levels of EFAs up, it changed everything. I specifically like Nordic Naturals because it taste tested best with pregnant women internationally and because their purification process eliminates any worries about heavy metal toxicity.

I could probably write for days about all the trauma I went through because I didn't know any better. I do not believe that my choices are automatically better for anyone else but recognize that misogyny is inherent in the birth culture we have here in America. I am passionate as a mother and as a feminist in preventing the unnecessary suffering of women and children. If you'd like more of my hard won wisdom, message me.

Till then I'll leave you with this, my favorite workouts for preparing for birth. The healthier you are going in to birth, the better the outcome for you and your three little miracles. Congratulations!

RW

http://www.stumptuous.com/dvd-revi...

http://yoanasblog.blogspot.com/200...

http://www.dragondoor.com/articler...

congratulations for this blessing! i'm the editor/creator of an upcoming, informative magazine about people's lifestyles. we are currently seeking compelling stories to feature, and i'm very much interested in documenting your journey with your partner. we are in the process on working to acquiring grants to claim ourselves as a non-profit organization. please e-mail me at andeleyn@yahoo.com -thank you!

My partner and I have triplet boys born in 2008. We were incredibly lucky with the pregnancy and had three healthy and big (7 lbs 5 ozs, 7 lbs 1 oz & 5 lbs 5 oz) babies. The first 6 months are honestly rough.
Adice #1: Have as many family members and friends help you. You will need extra hands to hold and feed the babies, especially after your c-section.
Advice #2:
I would check out getting on WIC for free formula and baby food. Since we can't get married, a single mom with triplets will most likely qualify if you don't have a large income for WIC, food stamps and health insurance too. I never thought I would be on government assistance but my partner can't adopt them in Arizona and I feel that if we don't have rights, screw them! You will want the financial assistance, trust me, your pride will go out the door when you end up spending $30 a day on formula plus diapers.
Advice #3: Stay positive - everything happens for a reason. We had tremendous challenges the first year of their life. My partner lost her job when they were 3 weeks old and we did not have an income for 8 months. My father died. We had to move across the country away from all family and friend for a new job. Our boys are now 19 months and we are happy, healthy, and getting our life back on track.

Oh you have a lot to look forward to. I have triplets, girls. They are now 21 and all in their senior year of college.