Gay Parenting Support Group

OMG I was afraid of this.....my son who is also 9 loves my g/f but I have never talked to him about me being a lesbian, I was thinking about talking to him and then a very smart woman made me realize I wasn't ready for that yet. I am soo sad for you, I don't know for sure what else to say, but sorry I couldn't help ya out

hi i have the same problem with my 5y/o is very anty gay at the minute im hoping that it is things that he has picked up from school so i hope to brake this in time.

My children are now 14, 16 and 20, each of them went through something like this while they were growing up. For them it is very important to be accepted by their peers. I did not emphasis their concerns and tried to be very supportive of how they felt. During this time my partner and I would take turns going on their field trips with them. They called her their "Aunt" when asked who she was. We didn't make them feel bad for how they felt, instead just included them and their friends in many things that we did. Our house was the neighborhood house that everyone wanted to be at. Nothing was discussed about two mommies being there, it just was. Soon they all grew out of this. In 5th grade my son gave an oral report on why his two mommies should be able to get married. It become unusual for my oldest to run into someone at school that "didn't" know she had gay parents. Stay positive with them and keep a good line of communication. Good Luck

I'm sort of going through elements of this with my teens as well. But to be honest I think it has less to do with being gay and more to do with feeling threatened by my partner taking me away from them. I think this is a normal thing for kids from a broken home.

My daughter does mention that kids "talk" at school. I'm not exactly sure what to say to her about this. Any advice?

My son was 8 when I came out. My partner was living with us when I told him (he just thought she was a friend). He didn't want me to tell anyone I as gay.

I told him that it was his choice, and that if he wanted, he could make the decision on who he outed me to. I was open about it at work and with friends.

Eventually, as he became comfortable in his own way (we were very positive, and had his friends over without saying anything, and didn't show affection in front of the friends) he just got over it. He's eleven now and everyone knows.

He even jokes about it with his friends, and doesn't care if anyone says anything (although if they're derogatory he just shoots them down and disregards them thereafter).

It's a phase, and I know of other kids that go through it. Remember that 9 is when they start being truly effected by peer pressure. They think that what their family is affects them. The will grow out of it. I just took it in a laid back way and didn't force the issue.

Remember that if they feel safe, they'll feel in control, and that's when they realize it's okay.

Good luck, hon.

Hey! I can understand. I am going through the same thing right now. My son is 11 and feels that if any of his friends find out that his mother is a lesbian he will become a "nobody" in his school. Anytime you need to vent...let me know!!

I have kind of a simular situation. My daughter is nine, is adopted and is a child of color where as I am not. This complicates things a little more than usual, but we make it work. I am not longer with her other mother, the one that orig. adopted her with, but I am not married to another woman. My daughter has only known a life with two moms and so hasn't had to deal with a whole coming out issue. She was however very ashamed of having a family that was not "normal". We quickly wanted to make this issues a little more normal for her and so we found a support group with same-sex families who were also raising adopted and birth children. Suddenly she was not the odd one out, our family became very normal. When kids tease her or say something about it she comes back with comments like "I have 4 moms, one birth, two adopted, and one step mom and not many people can say that." Sometimes kids ask her about how hard it is because that is a lot of moms to tell you what to do all the time. lol
The answer for my family was that is was a phase. In time it will pass. When things get tough on the issue I will tell her that she doesn't not have to agree with the lifestyle I choose, but she does have to respect it. Some kids are a little young to understand that, but some may get it.
Best of luck!

ok this whole burn on the finger thing is really messing up my typing. I AM married to another woman. And I am NO longer with my daughters other adotpive mother.


Hopefully that clears it up a little, sorry.

I am the Daughter of a Lesbian. My mom left my dad when I was 11 to be with a woman. I hated my mom. I hated her for destroying my family and bringing another person in our lives, I hated that she was gay and I didnt want anyone to know at first either. I had a hard time dealing. I am not 27, I have 3 kids of my own. My mom and her partner have been together for 15 yrs. They are happy and I am happy for them. My kids call my mom grandma and her partner nonni (which is italian for grandma) My love for my mom made things easier for me as I grew up and "this life" just became normal for me. I always thought my kids would be confused about their grandparents but ive always taught them that all relationships are different so it just seems normal to them too...although sometime they think nonni is a boy lol. So that gets confusing for them haha. Anyways. I think the worst thing my mom did was NOT talk to me about her relationship. I felt like she thought I was stupid like I didnt know what was going on. She wrote me a long letter eventually..when I was 12...just explaining to me that she was so sorry she hurt me and hurt the family and that she has a deep love for her partner and hopes someday I will understand a forgive her. IT made a big difference. If reminded me that she did care about me and my feelings.
You need to give your kids time. They will come around..and always be open to talk with them. Open communication is important. Your kids love you,, they are just confused. Let them deal in their own time.

SOME
OF "kids"
LIKE SOME "adults"

THEY SAY WHAT BRINGS ATTENTION.

THEY MAY SAY "what seems to "fit in" some".

in YESTERYEARS...AND STILL TODAY...
AMONG "straight" COUPLES...

SOME "kids"
"HATED"

the MIXED RACES... felt "EYES" on the "kids".

THE poor FINANCIALLY situation and so HATED the OTHER PARTNER... m/f, gay/straight.

the CULTURE of the "OTHER FAMILY"... and so "HATED THE OTHER PERSON"...

and there are many such FOOLISH ways of behaving by "kids" and by "ADULTS"....


and or in your case
"HATES THAT YOU ARE GAY".


I DON't BELIEVE ANYONE CARES if SOMEONE is "GAY,STRAIGHT,CELIBANT"... NOPE.
I DO BELIEVE that PREJUDICE and BIAS and BIGOTRY... exist and PEOPLE do EXAGGERATE THE "GAY THEME" only because they PRESUME for "today" TO GET AWAY WITH THAT ACT OF "BEATING UP ON SOMEONE ELSE!"


???tried COUNSELING???

???tried HAVING THE CHILD WRITE OUT WHY???
I mean every day... in a JOURNAL... can't get up from the table UNTIL a SENTENCE at the VERY LEAST IS ENTERED... !

YOU HAVE TO HAVE COMMUNICATION ABOUT IT.

==>>MOST LIKELY it is "OUTSIDE" bias!
from somewhere the "kiddo" is REACTING to
and NOT ABOUT "YOU ARE GAY!"

have a nice day.