What is Gay Mens Relationship Challenges
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.).
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Me and my freind got into an argument because he says he thinks I might be gay. Sure, I am gay, but he doesnt know that and is none of his buissness. But its like, if he doesnt want to be freinds anymore just because he thinks Im gay, how are other people going to be when I tell them I really am gay?
Posted on 11/04/09, 11:11 am |
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The choice to whether to tell people if you're gay or not is completely up to you.
But here's how I look at it: If I don't tell, I have to ask myself WHY I don't want to tell them. "It's none of their business" wasn't a good enough answer for me. The actual answer to that question for me was: "I'm afraid of how they'll react to the news." If the people I told liked me before I told them, but didn't afterward, then they weren't my friends to begin with. (So far, I've never had any body turn against me, but some have been uncomfortable with the news. Which usually wears off over time.) Another answer to the question to myself was: "Deep down inside, I'm actually a little ashamed of being gay." and "If I tell, I'm afraid I'll have to justify or explain myself." First, I had to accept myself for who I was - and embrace it. If I kept the dirty little secret, it would have eaten away at me forever. Secondly, I did not have to justify who I was at all. And didn't have to answer any questions, or explain anything to anyone. Period. It's a tough situation. Be brave. And true to yourself. 
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I agree with Chuck. Let me ask you- Have you come to terms with being gay? You have to be comfortable with it before you are able to tell others, and as he said, it's your business whom you decide to tell. A good friend is going be a good friend regardless of your sexuality. Anymore, if they have the balls to ask me, I have enough to tell them. I'm not ashamed to be gay and never have been. It's just a small part of the whole package!!
Best of luck to you.
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Thank you both so much for your advice.
Chuck, what you had to say is really insightfull, Ive never thought of it that way. And I think you right, I am afraid of how him and others will react. Another reason Im afraid of telling people, though this may be just another bad excuss, is that Im in Boy Scouts but will be kicked out if they know im gay. Im going to try and take what you both said and be more honest to see who is really a freind. Thank you
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