Gay & Lesbian Teens Support Group

Hidden,

I totally understand where you're coming from. A lot of parents are so against homosexuality, because, when they were growing up, social ideas of that time were closer to what was written in the Leviticus book of the Bible. For example, Leviticus forbids hair cutting, and, a hundred years ago, most women wore their hair as long as they could. Now, people are embracing a variety of styles, which gives us hope that your mom's atttude will not be as common as it once was going forward. Hopefully, someday, parents' reactions will not seem so scary.

Because your mom is so against lesbianism, I think you should look beyond your home when considering who to come out to. Teenagers are more accepting than ever before, for example, so if you have a pro-gay friend then you might want to start with them. Come out to those you know will accept you first, and then work your way inward to those who are more difficult. This will help you build confidence because you are building a support system as you go.

When you do decide to come out (to anyone), try my favorite tips for coming out (sorry if it sounds like assembly instructions!), you don't have to follow them exactly but they're a good guide if you want some friendly help moving ahead:

1. Don't panic, be prepared! Decide who you would like to come out to and think about how you might go about doing it. Do something you enjoy to give your confidence a boost. Remember, you need to come out to yourself before you come out to anyone else.

2. Know your stuff! Whenever I come out to someone it seems like they always have a question or two to ask me. Arming yourself with knowledge (resources listed below) will make it easier to talk to the other person about why you came out. Knowledge fosters tolerance, and people will be less likely to say something far-fetched about the LGBT community if they know the facts. You only have to answer questions if you feel comfortable doing so. If someone asks you something inappropriate or too nosy, you can politely tell them that what they asked you made you feel uncomfortable.

3. Be P.F.C. (polite, friendly, and conversational)! This can be a sensitive conversation, so you will want to respect your friend's space as well as your own. There's no need to make a big production out of coming out; that can be awkward. Just say it from the heart, girl! Let your friend know that you are coming out to them because you value the friendship and you want to be open and honest. Be yourself. Revealing your sexual orientation does not make you a different person than who you were before you said anything!

4. Congratulate yourself! You're staying true to yourself by coming out. That takes courage, girl!

Right now, the most important thing you can do is build confidence. Stay true to yourself and just be you! Don't put on a front for those around you; if you hate frilly pink dresses, for example, don't wear them! Express yourself! Make a positive impression on others. I really want to be taken seriously as a lesbian, so I just try to be honest as long as it is appropriate and be proud of who I am! From one lesbian to another, you can do this, girl! Work to achieve your goals and follow your dreams!

Some good resources:
www.pflag.org
www.glsen.org
www.hrc.org
www.about.com/lesbianlife (good coming out stories!)
www.wikipedia.en (LGBT portal)
www.healthychildren.org (teen sexuality)
Steven Petrow's Complete Gay and Lesbian Manners book
The Lesbian Love Companion by Marny Hall, PhD

...and other great books to read!
The Beebo Brinker Chronicles by Ann Bannon
Spring Fire by Vin Packer
Twilight Girl by Della Martin
Lesbian Pulp Fiction edited by Katherine V. Forrest
Growing up Gay/Growing up Lesbian: a literary anthology edited by Bennett L. Singer
Roller Coaster by Karin Kallmaker
Picture Perfect by Jane Vollbrecht

I wish you all the best! I hope everything works out for you! Message me whenever you want to talk!

Nicole :)

I think you should come out just as bluntly as you called me a rude bitch *shrugs shoulders* why should it be any harder to say 'I am gay.' then it is to say "you are a rude bitch!" ?

did i ask your opinion?

Its not your parents life its your life....you need to live it for YOU! YOU need to always be true to yourself and for no one else! It may take them time but they will come around eventually.