Gay & Lesbian Teens Support Group

how did you tell everyone?

The first person I told was my best friend, I didnt know how to tell anyone, so I went from straight to bi to lez.

I told my best friend after her mom went bi (who is now straight again.) but she has stuck with me sense then. then it was shool i came out to next, my school was very diverse and a good part of the population in school was bi, there was like only 2 gay boys and 1 lez girl i knew about. but mostly bi, so i started to tell my friends one by one, they stayed my friends but got more distant... things did change... but i didn't experience any bullying from it thankfully. I know how bullying can effect those, I was bullied as a kid for being fat, shy, and timid.

To my mom, i knew she would accept me, however i wasnt expecting her to be a bitch to the first girl I 'told' her i was dating (even though it wasnt the first girl i was actually dating.) my mom was nothing but a bitch to her. that girl then told her fam she was a lez, and they were nothing but bitches to me.

Its hard coming out, it really is. But it does get better. i know that sounds so old, but its true.

You have come out to yourself.... now you have to come out to the rest of the world. It takes time realizing who or what you like. it will take time for them to accept it just as you had to accept it yourself. Rule of thumb, Give them as much time to accept you, as you had to accept yourself.

each family is different, each situation is different. that girl i told you about, the one my mom was a bitch to, then her fam was a bitch to me, she broke up cause her family blamed me for turning her lesbian, even though i knew she was already (didnt know exactly who all she was with until after she broke up with me.) which leads to another topic, SAFE SEX! PRACTICE IT! even in guy x guy relationships and girl x girl relationships you can still transfer STD/I's.

Finally, Coming out is an on going process. just make sure you surround yourself with those who still love you and care about you and know you are who you are.

I live in a small town, with only 250 people in my whole high school. Theres one girl out, but she gets picked on all the time. I'm afraid that will be me. What should i do?

wow really? only 250? that woulda been nice in a way, if they weren't close minded. but hmm.... i dont know that situation, im sorry. i dont know what to say other then ramble on about this

i suggest you friend the girl, even iv you get bullied too, you could always tell on people. dont mean you have to come out, just im kinda scared for her. teens suicide every day from being bullied. if you want deny that you are, but say that its not cool to pick on others.

if you dont want to tell the teachers or someone, then play along, people like seeing the reactions of others when they are hurt or pissed. they feed off of it. if you or she can act like it doesn't bother you guys then maybe they will back off?

Well I consider myself bi-curious at the moment. I'm 18 years old and I've always dated guys but I have been attracted to girls at an early age (11) to be exact. I always thought it was a phase and eventually it'd go away but nope still there. I'm attracted to both girly and tomboyish girls. My best friend of 11 years came out to me a year ago and I badly wanted to tell her I too had an attraction to girls but I said nothing. She like you came out as bi first then a full lesbian. I told her that her sexuality didn't bother me and that I would support her no matter what. Sometimes I'm envious that she had the guts to come out to everyone and is free to be herself when I'm stuck keeping everything a secret. When I was younger I would go into chat rooms and talk to girls who were my age and considered themselves lesbians or bisexual, I just wanted some advice. Well one night I forgot to log out of my instant messenger and I went to bed, my mom must have gotten up to check her E-mail and seen a IM one of the girls sent me. She asked me if my family knew that I liked girls. I woke up the next morning and got ready for school I began to panic when I seen that my instant messenger was still logged in. My mom was acting kinda strange and was eager for me to go to school, I was pretty sure the reason was so she could talk about what she read with my older sister. Anyway when I get home later that day she finally asked me about it, my heart was pounding and I quickly thought of a lie that thankfully saved my ass, fortunately she and my sister both believed me (at least I think they did) and my mom never questioned my sexuality ever again. I talked to about two other girls (over the phone) since then but they lived in another state, I really started to like both of them but I broke things off when feelings started to get involved. It sucks because I'm such a coward, the sad thing is I'm pretty sure my mom would still accept me she even admitted it when she thought I was gay but its not her that I'm afraid won't accept me.

I have a cousin who I'm really close to she's like my sister. She is totally grossed out by the fact that my best friend is gay and she makes comments all the time about her that bothers me, not only because its about my best friend but because I know if she knew I liked girls too she would think the same things about me. You see my cousin was raised by my grandmother who was a Christian a very judgemental Christian ( god rest her soul but its the truth) anyway her views kinda stuck to my cousin and she's one of the most judgemental people I know and she's the main reason I feel like I can never be honest about my sexuality. I still find myself saying that its just a phase and that I'll get over it but I think I'm just trying to convince myself that Heck I don't even know if I'm bi I'm just so confused I've had tons of crushes on girls, even flirted with a few that I knew were gay but I've been to scared to actually date a girl in fear of what my family (mainly my cousin) might think. Anyway I'm going to stop rambling now I think I've typed far to much thanks for reading this far (if you have) I just needed to get that off of my chest.

I'm still not sure if I am just bi or if I am lesbian... How did you know you only liked girls?

@ SeekingSerenity, yes i did read it. is there possibly a way you could tell your mom and your sis (or just one) that you are gay? HELL, even your bestfriend. maybe your best friend would be better.

you will always be chained down if you dont start taking steps, even baby steps. you will always hate yourself if you are never truthful with yourself.

think of it this way, think if you had a friend~ one you cared deeply for but they always lied to you, ALWAYS made excuses as to why they couldnt do this, why they couldnt do that, blah blah blah, excuses excuses excuses left and right. but you cared for them, they were your friend and you never wanted to defriend them, it would annoy you, hurt you some times, frustrate you. its the same thing with yourself, until you are truthful with yourself, you will be that irritating hurtful friend you care about, to yourself. ever heard of the saying 'you are your own worse enemy.' ? Its true.

My suggestion, is come out, come out slowly, you dont have to be like "WORLD! HERE I AM! I AM A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!" no, baby steps. as i said, your friend. maybe your mom or sister. if you dont want your cousin finding out, ask them to not tell her, and only tell them if you can trust them to be silent. This is YOUR life. no one else's.
Things will get better, only if you start making the steps to make it better first. you cant live lies, you cant force yourself to do something you hate, then be happy about it. you are only breaking yourself.

Another thing about your cousin, I know how those people are... but the thing is, If a person cant accept you, if a FAMILY member cant accept you for who you are, then they really never loved you in the first place.
that being said, if they absolutely wont talk to you or hurt you in some way, all the time, or most of the time, they dont really want to talk to you anymore... sad but true.
Now if someone argues but still seem to accept you in all, then they just have to come to terms with it themselves. just as you have to come to terms with it yourself.

I hope things work out for you....and hey, people want what they cant have. it is only a phase if you try is and go threw it. once you know for sure that you are or arent, is the only REAL time you can say 'It was just a phase.' OR 'Yeah, I am, What do you care?'

I hope this has helped you even if just a little.





@BriannaLee, Guys were very physical to me, they always hurt me... not sexually, just they wer very rough on me, one even twisted my arm behind my back to get something someone randomly passed to me, I didnt even know what was going on... then another pinned me against the wall, but that was when i was younger, It was my friends brother, he thought i was irritating her and i wasnt, but cause he thought i was he pinned me against the wall, and another was holding me against my will, for some odd reason, and i couldnt get free cause he was bigger then me, my 'friend' (a different friend.) just stood there and watched... though i think she was to high to do anything. i doubt she even remembers it ever happening. but yeah... just shit like that over the years just didnt help my attraction to guys... besides they are hairy blech XD.... thats the more serious reasons as to why i dont like them, but the other is that, they are hairy, they dont have boobs, they have a dick, about 98.6% are idiots, immature, smell weird... and are rough even when trying to be gentle...

AND in all, i do find some guys attractive, but when that comes down to it, i think 'do i think i could fuck them?' in terms, do i find them SEXUALLY attractive. i may find them attractive, but do i find them SEXUALLY attractive? and it has always been no.

Plus i like the girly guys haha... so if i like girly guys, but I like boobs and no dick.... thennnnn i kinda can figure i like girls.... besides, its much more fun to tease a girl then it is a guy i think. haha.... but thats on a different whore-ish note. lol.

Really it all differs from one person to the next. iv endured physical abuse from them which didnt help their case, but also was simply attracted to girls. some are attracted to girls simply, and never experienced abuse from guys. or even some are just SOOOOOOO fed up with guys they turn to girls. and it is then they find out if they truly like girls, or if they are simply straight, but have shitty luck with guys.

and hell, even some can go YEARS with guys, but find that ONE woman who rocks their world more then any other guy is able to.... so it just depends on who it is, and their life and things they value and don't care about.

all this being said, i am not a man hater, i just hate the majority of them haha. but i dont hate all of them... if they can prove to me they are nice and not like the others then they fall in the other 1.4% who aren't bad... so yeah...

@Thelonewolf Thanks for the advice though I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual and not a lesbian (I've never been with a guy sexually but I am sexually and physically attracted to them, same with girls). I'm thinking I'm going to pick a weekend very soon and suggest my best friend and I hang out to spend some quality time together (its been awhile since we've hung out because we've both started college) then I'm going to tell her the truth and ask that she keeps it a secret between us until I'm ready for everyone else to know.

if your bi, your bi, its all the same though. Specially if you do want to end up being with a girl.