What is Gastric Bypass Surgery
Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight as fatty tis...
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Feeling Like a Failure
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Ok, I know I can't be the only one feeling this way. I haven't posted in a while but I always read the posts. I had my GBP 8-12-08, I've gone from 434 pounds to 286, and I still feel like a failure!!!!!!!! What is my problem??? I can't stand how obsessed with food I am, it seems that it is all I think about. I eat a great diet, all natural foods, no sugar. Sometimes I eat a little too many carbs and fat but for the most part I am doing ok. 148 pounds gone and I see all of these people talking about One-derland and I realize I am never ever going to be there and I should just accept what I have accomplished but I am jealous and feel like I am not doing as well as I should.
I feel great physically, I was on a very regular exercise routine for months only to have the doctor tell me that it is aggrivating my umbilical hernia and I need to slow down. It is a very strange feeling pushing your bowels back into that hole. I definitely don't want to end up in the ER with emergency surgery so I backed off. Problem with that is I was enjoying the benefits (physical as well as mental) of the adrenaline rush and it has me down that I have to "back off" as the doctor says and makes me just feel shitty. Then I look at this new picture that I have up and see how much my hair has receeded and thinned. :( Posted on 11/09/09, 09:11 am |
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Congrats on your weight loss! I started at 400 pounds and now I am down to 228 pounds since Jan of this year.
I am not worry about getting to one-land. My goal is to get down to 200 pounds. BUT if I do not lose no more weight, I am very happy where I am at right now. We are own worst enemies sometimes. We can not compare ourselves to other people, but we still do, its human nature. I still have the emotional hunger, which will never change. I have to deal with it on a daily basis, which I find myself in front of fridge or cabinets sometimes and thinking what am I doing here? I just walk away and find something to keep me busy until the craving passes. 140 pounds gone, is another person you have lost. Congrats on your success so far. But,maybe you need to talk with your doctor about how you are feeling, maybe you need to seek out more professional help or something else to help you make you feel better about yourself. Keep up the good work, and who cares about hitting 199, I am not!! 
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Holy cow. That sure doesn't sound like failure to me. 148 pounds in just a little over a year? That's flippin' great! As for the food obsession -- the support group my wife attends (she had GBS in 12/08) has a saying, "The surgery doesn't fix your head" - after going through GBS myself on 10/07/09, I now understand that saying better than before. I would argue that you need to celebrate the huge distance you've already come and just focus on slow progress in the right direction.
Can you simply walk for exercise? Sounds like you're going to need hernia repair at some point anyway. I've chosen walking because I still have a lot of joint and muscle pain and it is the one thing I can do that I enjoy - I live in the country and walk down the county gravel roads. As for the hair loss thing... they have my wife taking the chewable zinc to minimize that. Are you already doing the zinc thing? And BTW, good job!
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Part of me thinks this is all PMS..........Part of me also thinks its because I need to go to the gym (I got used to the adrenaline rush)........... and the other part of me feels bad because I am grazing all the time and I feel the old feeling of not being able to stop. All the way around re-reading what I posted makes me feel like I am coming across ungreatful. I really am not ungreatful I love every minute of the new things that I am able to accomplish with my "new self". I have met the man of my dreams and I'm getting married in the spring. I have experienced all good things (Minus the hair loss).............. but sometimes I just get so down inside when I revisit that old mental hunger.
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Thank you for all of the encouragement, I really needed it today. I was doing the tread mill Jerry and my doc says no. I am stubborn and will probably do it anyway (fingers crossed) but I have noticed the hernia doesnt bother me since I took a 2 week break to test his(the doc's) theory. I have to admit I got mad at him when he told me to stop exercising. I thought damn aren't doctors supposed to tell you to exercise, but I think he might be onto something. :)
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I think your doing fantastic.
If your a failure, I want in that club also.
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Like someone eles was saying in another post, we didn't do this to become strippers, we did this to get healthier and live more productive lives.
I like that outlook, made me feel better, because I think I too get obsessed with the fact I'll never be a normally thin person. Hang in there sweety! You have done awesome for youself. 148 lbs off your back, arn't you glad to have that jerk gone, LOL. I always imagine my weight loss in people, makes me smile. "The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more."
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I have to add my support and congratulations here too. You have lost a person, for goodness sake. I'd LIKE to be that 148 lbs. you've dropped. Could you LIFT 148 lbs? I couldn't? It's All PERSPECTIVE!
You are successful for hanging in a year. You are successful because you stepped into the unknown after no doubt trying many other ways to lose weight. You are a success because you keep trying. Try to do WHAT YOU CAN....if it's walking or lifting cans from the cupboard while sitting on a chair, watching tv, do that. Each of us has limitations. We've also started at different places. What you've already lost is what I hope to lose when I'm finished. So we have to not compare ourselves lb. for lb., but rather, goal for goal. That we can all relate to and be helpful with. Big hugs to you....and Cheryl and others who started further up the scale. You are well on your way to where ever you want to end up. And so maybe start a Twoderland "club" and see how many fellow friends are on that journey with you. Cindy
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You are doing fantastic x
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