Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Hi silent

Emotional eating SUCKS big time. I am not a mother but the only thing that you can do is be there for her and not badger her about what she eats or how she is eating. You might not like it but its her life and I'm sure it kills you inside to see her go the way you did as you said but you know she has to figure out how to stop it for herself. Just keep working on you and she will see how you will change for the better and communicate the things you are going thru but dont make it sound like you are preaching to her. Do you know what i mean? Stay in contact with her no matter what and hang. I'm sure it hard to watch and see but she has to figure it out- just be there for her no matter what. Keep helping yourself and she will see that you can do it no matter what and she might realize some things that she is doing to herself.

Good luck
Tracy

Hey Kim,
I'm with Tracy here on this matter. And if you step back and think about it for a second or two, you're absolutely the right person with the exact experience to deal with all the crap that she is going through. I beleive that you're journey will help you both for the rest of your lives. Not to mention when she watches here beautiful, smart and funny WALLFLOWER mom blossom, (pun intended) she too will want to get here mouth, stomach and mind all focused. Really Kim, sad would be if you hadn't taken this path x number of months ago and were still so F'd up that you couldn't even show here the light at the end of the tunnel.

As Tracy say's, with love!
Now I'm Luvin You we'll talk later, I going to take more drugs. I think I feel a little pain coming on. LOL
Brett

LOL Brett...

Thanks to both of you. I do hope I can inspire her instead of her just seeing herself as more of a failure as I lose the weight.

I would just have a little discussion with her, no pushing, but explain to her how you dealt with problems by turning to food. You don't even have to tell her that you are concerned about her. Speak from your heart about you, and maybe she'll read her own problems into the situation.
It's worth a try.
You however, aren't a bad mother, don't blame yourself. I think what you should do with those feelings is give yourself a big hug, pat on the back. You made a decision that will enhance your life, and your daughter's as well. Stand up be proud......it wasn't something little that you did, it was major......and your daughter must be so proud of you, and you should be too.
Encourage your daughter, lead and show her by your example. Continue to make those great meals.........it sounded so good.

Hey that wallflower is hiding with her chat turned off! Don't you just love privacy?

I can understand where u are coming from.....since my surgery......hubby and kids eat alot healthier....the only thing is i would love for them all to give up thier soda.....I could care less if i ever drink a soda ...that stuff is addicting....never knew until i gave it up a few mths before my surgery.....i took a sip the other day for 1st time and yuck...I will never drink or take a sip of it again.
Once she sees how well your weight loss is going it may inspire her to join ya.

I really agree with what Tracy has said,as a mother it isn't easy to watch the ones we love use food or anything else.But it sure was good to read every one's replies.I too get concerned about my family last night we were out for dinner & i watched my partner eat what was left on my plate then his daughter's.I was not able to say anything other than gee honey you must of really been HUNGRY! I wish i could not of said anything we all know how it feels to be on the recieving end of any comment to do with food or weight.
Good luck with your journey & go easy Take Care CC

I'm with Bubbly....soda is the downfall of my family! Would love if I could get all of them to stop drinking it!

Silent,
I sort of have this same issue with my 12 year old son. He has been overweight pretty much his whole life, but I've noticed here about the past 4 years, he is constantly saying he is hungry, even if he has just eaten something an hour before. I have been trying my hardest to lovingly, but firmly, steer him away from food, and he has lost 15 pounds since this summer. But now, he has turned to sitting in his room and reading all day, no exercise. And, he will talk about being at his dad's house and the things he ate over there and I'm just appalled that his dad would not monitor what he eats since his dad grips to me about his weight.
The only thing I can do is keep encouraging him to eat healthy and healthy portions. Lead by example, I always say. I would so hate it if he continued this into his adult years and had to go the same path as myself.

Tracy, so well put. Since I'm splitting my time with hubby and then with our daughter & g'daughter, I'm trying to cook healthier on both fronts. My daughter is thrilled with it!! She was so tired of "fast food" or filler foods. Hubby isn't as wild about it all, which is sad because he's got some life threatening health problems. I know as much as I love him, I can't nag at him or treat him like a child about it, the choices have to be his.
We have to hang tough and be supportive if they want us to be. We'll continue to love them and one day, hopefully in the not to distant future they will have their Ah-HAA Moment of reality.

(hugs)
Peggy

My boy is 13 and 200 lbs. Hes lost 15 lbs since my surgery. But it was not easy. He learned many of the habits I had, just by being exposed to me. I didnt realize I was being an "enabler". I would get hungry, and turn and say "hey im going to Taco Bell or whatever, do you want something?" Had he been hungry, he would have said something or got up and made a sandwich, but since I was going... he wanted to "taste" it too. So.. Id get him something with me.

Same thing for my hubby. He can eat.. and eat...and stay thin.. Id think, thats not fair, he can eat that and not get fat, so can I. HA!

I recently took my son to one of the seminars that my Dr does every month. He says how we are becoming a fast food nation and how half of our kids are becoming overweight and obese. It showed surgeries, and the effects of poor diet. Hes 13 mind you, and leaned over to me and said "mom, im scared" It worked. Hes been flipping cans over "140 calories!!?? No way!" Its never too late. We have no soda in the house anymore, both of us are crystal light fiends. No more fast food, No more junk. I even made a wall in my house with old photos of us, so we can look back at how we were in moments of weakness, and get some strength back.

She can definately benefit from your experiencces, always =) The good and the bad. Keep the faith!