Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

U know I found out miine went on a few of them too and it kind of makes me feel insecure and I guess if those guys had of said something like that I would have had to embarass them by saying man the way ur acting and making fun of that woman tells me ur a shovanistic pic w/ a very small penis. that would have made there mouth drop to the floor I am getting a few more looks too and dont know how to handle that but, I wouldnt take anything for Jason, but, having this surgery has truly changed my life I will not even let my children say ugly things ( never that I did before ) but, boys will be boys... didnt mean to ramble on just my opninon.... hang in there girl

I don't think all men are that way, but way too many of them are and sounds like you are working with some real pigs.makes me glad I work with eleven women., anyway, saw your pic, you look great, yea, ignore them...

You would think i would be flattered by the new attention, looks, doors being held open, smiles, winks and a few propositions but instead it ticks me off, all of those things never happend to the former fat me. They say they love my smile, i had the same smile when i was overweight, like i said i am having a bad week. Missed my class at the gym, I strained my calf and am suppose to be resting it, i need my exercise. This group is my lifeline so glad i have you all.

I would have something to those guys in the way of, and have any of you looked in the mirror?..........I don't see how any of you have the right to pick on someone else about a possible flaw, when I'm looking at (however many there were of them) right now.............then follow up with...
I'd rather be fat than as ignorant as you men.
Have a great day.
I'm sure that would have shut them up.

I agree comments like those are cruel and uncalled for, and men (and women) in packs like these were when you over heard them act much differently when they are together than when alone. I have had similar experiences with women making the same comments. Men in groups feel compelled to "go along with the crowd" and say things they think they should say in a group as to be more "macho".. or to assert their misplaced virility .... in a poor attempt to make the others in their little pack think that they could possibly woo someone that is out of their league.. haha. (it's sad that we have leagues.. or that this concept has been around since the beginning of time but it's there.. and based on poor self esteem)

Women although usually more subtle make the same points very clear to men everyday.. but they do it through the roll of their eyes... saying "who are you to be checking out someone like me".. you are a 3 and I am a 9"... you catch my drift....

It is ALL about their insecurity and how they are dealing with how they feel about themselves. I have come to the realization that in many other peoples eyes we ARE a completely different person now that the weight is gone.

I have had conversations with men and women both that are almost like "re-meeting" them again for the first time, when I have known them for years. I think if we dig deep enough we can see in each of ourselves a time when we may have had thoughts about someones elses size in comparison to others or even ourselves... and I KNOW women do this a lot as well.. haha!! (I have heard men and women both say things such as.. "wow standing next to so and so sure makes me feel better about myself.. I thought I was overweight."

Some people (men and women alike) just don't know how to react to us after we have lost the weight. We are all judged for our actions our behavior and sad but true by our appearances. When I was 140 pounds heavier.. the ONLY women who ever gave me the time of day where women who were overweight themselves. If i was to brush off a comment or a stare that I got I would always get the "Like you could do better than me" look from these women. Now the same women who used to flirt with me shy away from talking to me.. (I'm somehow now a higher ranking number than they feel they are). I get college aged girls checking me out... face it I am almost 40 years old, I give them the brush off.. and I get the opposite look from that saying "Like you should brush me off.. your freaking pushing 40.. like you can get anyone as young and pretty as me ".. so yes it is either our weight, our age.. or any other long list of things that people judge us by..

ALL in an attempt to cover for personal insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.

P.S. ....As for the porn... I would much rather have them looking rather than touching, haha.. women look at the stuff to... it says NOTHING about you or how they feel about you... that's insecurity surfacing again.

Sorry to be going on and on.. but I wanted to make an analogy from a long time ago that just came to mind..... that has some relevance.

I remember vividly when I was 9 years old at Christmas time I got two very different but unique gifts.... the first was in a small box with shiny paper that I was super excited to open only to find a tacky Christmas sweater from my grandma...I felt excited.. yet let down somehow.. haha.

In the second box.. a much bigger box.. which I should have been excited over.. was wrapped in newspaper (because my parents couldn't afford to wrap the bigger box in fancy paper).. I looked kind sad opening it wondering what exactly it was.. only to find the race car set that I had my heart set on...

It goes to show that.. what's on the outside doesn't matter.. it's whats on the inside that does.. and I am glad I learned this at a young age....

Great post upnorthguy...I agree with all..even the porn...heck I have even gone to those sites,,,haven't for years but used to..for laughs. Funny thing is my hubby doesn't...but it wouldn't matter to me if he did..I'm secure in how he feels about me and there is nothing he can look out that would bother me.

OMG porn.......

And some men are pigs or neandathol men....
Just horny...... like 24/7 but last for just minutes...
All in all a disapointment I'm afraid..

I feel inadequate now..... :(

BUZZ - a really nice sound should women feel the need for a little more than we can offer... no offence, hell I'm all for it as long as I can watch...... oop me naughty lol

My hubby surfs porn occasionally too...pisses me off sometimes, but I guess he'd rather that then touch like someone else said.

The comments are annoying to me as well--I remember when i was "chunkier" being at a deli counter or at a dept store waiting for help forever because people make you invisible...such a messed up VAIN world we live in....Sorry you're having a bad week--we're all here for you girl...rant away!!! :) xoxo

erica

Men looking at porn has nothing to do with your weight loss or with rejecting you. If you ask hubby about it, he will tell you that. Men tend to be very visual - that is why they are the primary consumers of porn. They also get alot of pleasure from the fantasy aspect of porn. They have open access to a woman or scene they would never even consider pursuing in r/l. It is like a mental vacation with the added benefit of an endorphin and dopamine rush. If anything, his viewing can add a tremendous amount of spice to your sex life (so long as he is not whacking off to the point of having nothing left for you). Most couples I know who have dealt with this set limits on when and how much this can go on, and there is hell to pay if the agreement is violated. If it is really a deal-breaker for you, you will both have to find ways to give him the same rush he gets from porn through non-sexual outlets.