Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Welcome Diamond, you sound like the rest of us when we found this site. If you are truely ready to stop, you came to the right place. The members of this group have given so much to me. Their support, there help, ideas on how to stop and stay stopped. If you read the journals and discusions and advice colums, you will learn so much and see you are not alone.
Welcome to the group.
Hugs Steph

Hi Diamond.. I will second what 'STeph said..
Welcome. To do it alone is lonely, I found..GA helped me. IT gave me tools.. it gave me Hope.
Be Well,give up access to money I strongly suggest.
Sandra gams5.

I got sober also, just like you.......three years later I got clean from drugs,...... a year after that I quit smoking........and then finally, five years later I stopped gambling....... it took time......a series of small gradual steps...... I couldn't do it all at once, I'm not strong enough, it appears......
But I haven't gambled for over two years now.......I finally found a way to stop losing.....I stopped betting......It worked for me, I'm sure it can work for you, also.
Welcome to the group.

Thanks guys for the response and comments. Last night was good/bad. I really struggled with the urge, and finally ended up making a minimum (as if that matters) deposit, but did not play it til this morning. I don't know why any of that makes a difference, but I guess my addiction is trying to justify its continued existence. So, really when I did play, I noticed a great deal of tension and excitement was ABSENT. I was not all "invested" and of course, promptly zeroed out. I cannot tell you how many times I have installed.uninstalled software from my computer.

Anyway, as a way to make ammends to my family and our finances, I listed some of my prize belongings on E Bay and believe it or not, I am AHEAD! :) It may seem trivial, but I'm not into punishing myself, just trying to redirect and create some financial resitution.

I know I will never be able to *think* my way out of this compulsion.addiction. I know too, that no longer trying to "operate" in a shroud of secrecy" helps. This forum helkps; I mean just knowing it is here and you guys are here.

So I am shooting for TODAY to be my first day of recovery and if I make it until tomorrow morning (24 hours) I'm gonna carry a white poker chip around in my pockets. Yeah, I get the "symbolism" but I am going to do it...

I'm also not going to even bother with the "ritual" of uninstalling yet again the casino software...the addiction is in ME not my computer, but I am willing if I have to, to remove internet service in my home. That would really go over well with the wife! She is supportive, don't get me wrong, but she does trust that I am at least admitting being out of control and seeking help.

Hope all have a great weekend and I will be thinking of you......

Welcome Diamond. It is a good thing if you feel beat. It is one of the first steps to recovery...recognize that gambling has you, you don't have it...you are powerless over gambling...but you have the ability to embrace that and make it work for you.
Keep coming here and reading and sharing. You will find tons of support and great friends...even though you have never met them they feel like family to me now.
I know for sure I remember only too well the desire to stop gambling and ruining my family, my self esteem, my finances, etc. and yet at the same time wanting to gamble so bad.
When you feel defeated by the addiction, that is really when you are at your strongest. Just go one day at a time.
Keep coming back, it works if you work it.
Blessings
Mary

Diamond81, you have come to a great place for support and inspiration. On 1-1-08, I quit gambling (again)...a few days later, I found this site, and coming here is why I am still not gambling, going on 22 months later.

I tried so many times to bet a little, to bet only so long, to etc etc etc....trying to find a way to "control" my gambling. I finally gave in and realized I couldn not control my gambling. That was the turning point.

My life has changed so much for the better. I take joy in activities now that were meaningless to me when I was gambling. Gambling had been the only thing I wanted to do.

Just keep coming. Stopping the madness only requires that you don't gamble today. "One day at a time" has been the key for me. When I first quit gambling, I could only commit for a day at a time, that was manageable....and that has been enough.

Wishing you great strength and hope on your journey.

Addiction doesn't care if you enjoy it anymore. I understand that feeling. I often wondered why I continued to gamble, despite the fact I didn't want to. I understand now, that it was my addiction, it didn't care what I wanted, or didn't want. I also understand the realization, it's not about the money, win, lose, my addiction didn't care. My addiction just wanted me to feed it. Period. I couldn't "think" my way out of it, and I had tried willpower alone, before. Willpower only took me so far. It actually took me to a place where I thought I was in control again. What a lie! When I went back out there, my addiction was back in full force. It was awful, a new low, I thought I was losing my mind. Recovery is possible, but it can only happen one day at a time. For some of us, one moment at a time.

I'm glad you found us, you are in the right place for help. Thanks for sharing with us, and know we need you, too.

Time for me to get honest. I cannot get a grip on this. I tried switching to poker. One thing I really suck at is Poker.

I need more of what????????/ Willing to listen and try something different.

Well, lets look at what you've done so far.......or rather, what you haven't done.......
You haven't added anyone here to your friends list
You haven't written anything in your journal
You haven't downloaded any anti-gambling programs like Gamblock or Betfilter
You haven't asked about counseling or therapy
You haven't mentioned Gamblers Anonymous or whether you've considered it
You haven't gotten involved in any of the other discussions here on the site
..........Offhand, I'd suggest that what you might need more of......is.........effort on your part.
But I could be wrong. What do you think you might need more of?
Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

eastwester: Good comment. I think what I need most is to make a decision if I really want to stop or just learn "how to control it". I know I cannot control it, but at some level, I must not believe it.

I looked into GamBlock. Since I only gamble online, I am working with my bank to disallow all online purchases. But, in all honesty, the addiction is in me and if I set up all these road blocks myself, then it is almost an obligatiuon to find a way around them.

I did find something. Since my state is a lottery state, they have a free "hot line" and I think you can get some sort of support there. I dont know about GA in my area, but I will find out.


So yeah. I put as much effort so far as I guess I thought I coould get by with, but that wasn't my initial intent. I underestimated myself, or rather, my addiction.

I appreciate the feedback.