Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Myself, until I finally "got it", and stopped gambling, words like "relapse" and "slip", were great for me. They allowed me to feel that it was perfectly alright and understandable that I'd choose to go back out there and feed my addiction again.
After all, I was only a poor addict, I couldn't help it, it wasn't my fault, I wasn't responsible.

One day it finally sunk in. If it wasn't my fault, my responsibility.......then whose responsibility was it?

MY "EXCUSE" would be I just f***ed up.
I was being too overconfident and on a brief moment of being lax, I conned myself again.
So now it is time to start again and learn from the previous moment of weakness.

I am really troubled when I see people write things like "No wonder I gambled"....using circumstances to let them off the hook.....as if there were no other more positive ways of coping with life. I agree with you....
"E X C U S E" is the best spelling....

'My 'excuse for all my relapses , Kersplatties were :..
I started to '''Dream Again''. With 'each disappointment.. anger..saddness, 'guilt..feeling.
'I 'rekindled the 'thoughts that 'gave me a vision of the scenes that 'I liked to Watch.
Those feelings were mine < I owned them and little did others know when the ''dReam would Awake..as I 'was 'sneaky..
All I needed after the Dream Started was the Means to gamble.. a way to gamble 'and the lies which had to be rehearsed.
Gambleing followed.
'I have a Tape that I use.
Today :. with another scene when 'my thinking just may ''turn to a DReam. Questions to 'ask myself..
'It is 'why.? what is 'biting my buttskies.?
Why do I want to run and hide..?
'What will be Waiting when I return?..
When I 'follow that train of thought....I always come up with the 'right 'answer for me
'I usually laugh 'cuz the whole scenario does 'not play out as 'planned when in the 'DReam State..
So do I gamble after I follow my 'Questioning , Not in the Last '7' years.
I 'am restored to a normal way of 'thinking and living..
Do I 'beat self up for thinking of gambling off and on.. '''NO''. why is that..?....
For me it is 'Simple:
I am a compulsive gambler and from time to time ''thoughts will arise to 'give me which I can 'feel 'good about 'a new resolve , committment and follow through from the same ''result.KER===..Splatties..
am powerless once the DReam is ignited. I learned by 'Consequences.. MINE"..
So Today I don't 'give my DReams a second to 'advance into the 'second stage.
Simple ; but for me ''Practised over time.
I 'face .. what 'my problem is..
Life is not my Problem .. Reacting to it IS.
With that ''I have no Excuse To Gamble.
An old saying I love and reminds me of gambling>: Bite my nose to spite my face.lol
Be well.Sandra gams5..

Thanks Eastwester again.. I am going to 'revisit this topic as "I think it is Vital for my Recovery after reading many discussion entries from ''new ones..
First 'To end 'excuses or let my sneaky side 'dream again..
I needed to 'keep my 'spouse in the Loop of each day.
I needed to teach him 'how 'my mind was 'devious, cunning 'and could manipulate him.
When I handed over money reigns in the first 'stages of my Recovery , it lessened the urges.. I had no choice........
And it was my choices that 'got me into trouble........
You see I lost the ability to 'reason out 'any of the times MY Dream world beckonned me =(my thoughts).
SO ''being 'honest (new me) scary too .. he was 'there to help me........
He did not trust this new me.
"I" did not trust the new me.
I attended Gamblers Anonymous.......weekly,, and any or all help out there..
My Group was my HIGHER POWER.. they were on my shoulder each step of the way.
'I used them to 'help me pay ''creditors and set up payment plans.
When ''at home alone. they were with me.
Being Honest was the hardest ; but the most 'Vital from not being able to 'gamble.
I blocked all avenues to 'go back with .. telling my spouse 'of the 'pitfalls
I 'brought literature home ,, so he could read.
I took up ''hobbies.. I cleaned .. I 'called my grandkids for visits.
I 'obtained a job....(had no choice hubby retired the year I quit).
Ugh,, money was tight,,,,; but daily , blindly I knew ''by EDUCATION of others who went before me '', that I would be okay if I followed their 'suggestions..
SO I did...oh I could still 'want to gamble.
as each feeling of 'panic =gamble.
But in reality .. EAch emotion was ''just an emotion. I put no 'thought that < this meant I needed to 'gamble to make it go away.
I used no 'excuses...and worked on that 'part of my 'that was 'well trained (obsession). =Thinking , thinking..
I got up off my 'pattoties 'and Just did 'what was before me to do 'that was put on hold while gambliing..
This was the start of a new life.
I am 'grateful I had 'Alanon years before this . It was a start then and saved my life,, then.
Excuses. REasons. Alibis. lies 'were my problem in GAmbling
Honesty was 'a new way of 'putting all excuses to 'test'..
It is not easy...but 'it is not impossible to quit.
For me ,, I had to get Help in Gamblers Anonymous.. I knew if-Alanon could work. for me years ago.....then so could 'GA if I gave it the same 'Gusto as ''gambling..
I 'willingly go to any length to Recover ..
.Going it alone for years...Did not work.
I could justify 'gambling at any time..
No one knew 'so 'my sneaky side ''went
But once I told my spouse.My family,, Friends...I had a committment .
Over time.....my Commmittment 'was then ''MINE'.
I liked that ''empowerment..It set me Free.
Today.......I have no 'reason (excuse) to gamble.
I tried......and try Alone 'was my demise.
When I involved others ..My sneaky side 'got 'busted.
Today....I don't play head games with myself.
Getting Honest was my ''Biggest challenge.
and what 'cg doesn't like a ''dare eh ?.. lol
I dare tell lies......Today.They have always 'found me OUT..
Be well....sandra gams5

Twice I have stopped once for a little over 2 months, then again for almost a year, just last year. The first time I stopped and started back was a couple new tickets I wanted to get,
so I had my husband go get them for me and I thought I could just walk away from it as I had 2 months before. That was the plan, well I bought them alot and got a big winner and was gonna stop then no I kept on and on and honestly that's when I began to see it was a problem big time. Then the second time I did so good, at first it was tough, then it got a little easier but it was hard
at times. Then last year I got this idea again, that I could just get a few and stop, I really thought I could do it, well almost a year later and alot of money and aggravation, I realize I can not do this for fun or be someone who can buy a ticket every now and then and stop, I just can't and that is something I have to realize once and for all. My excuses are simply that I tell myself I can get a couple and stop, that is not true and it seems everytime I say I want to stop buying the tickets, there is every excuse in the book as to why I can't or don't, excuses and blame. I am glad you wrote this because those EXCUSES are probably
the permission to tell one's self it's ok. And you know what it's not ok in any way what-so-ever. I think I'm gonna make up a little song when I get the urge to go gamble
and sing it to myself over and over Excuses and Blame, maybe it'll work, at least it will remind me especially if I am thinking of reasons and excuses.

Part of the reason I have avoided abstinence is because of the fear of relapse. I once lost 35 lbs and looked great. When I realized that i would actually have to maintain the hard work, that day, I gave up. Since then, I have gained 40 lbs.

I cannot bear the thought of relapsing. I have not gambled in 6 days. Part of me wants to use that as an excuse, and say "you're still not really in that deep...might as well keep gambling so you don't have to relapse." Now, I think that there is nothing more sad than someone using, of all things, the threat of relapse as a reason to not stop. Talk about self-defeating behavior!

But, somehow, I am still sitting here, on this site, instead of gambling. So, perhaps there is hope that for today I will not gamble (only 2 hours left in the day).

I spell it D-I-S-A-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T

As a wife of a CG...relapse is a scary word. And after reading many of the posts, I realize that relapse is such a possibility.

I do not know how I will deal with relapse if it happens. We have been on the right track for 5 months now and I can see how we can get so comfortable as bills are being paid...This week, my DH new company has promoted him...He is now the manager. They do not have auto deposit. DH is handling company money and bringing home checks. I am scared of the awful word RELAPSE....

Georgia

Yes, I always have an excuse - more often than not, it's to 'celebrate' something. New hair, new nails, events that I attended that I wanted to share with my friends at the bar, but it seems that once I got there and shared my story, whatever it was, it deteriorated into the same ole grind. And whether I won or lost didn't matter, I just gambled money away. I'm not doing that anymore. It's hard! But I feel like I've really seen my 'excuses' for what they are - justifications for relapses! so I believe that I really 'got it' this time. And I remain gamble free...

#-2''topic , How do you Spell Relapse. Another favorite of mine that is Vital to me to keep remembering. Am bringing it 'forward from the 'pages ..Thanks..Eastwester..
Sandra gams5.