Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

It's faith. Believing that there is a power greater than ourselves. Believing we don't have all the answers. Being satisfied without all the answers. For me it's being satisfied with enough, more isn't always better. It's living one day at a time, doing the next right thing, listening to your heart, it's all the goodness in life. I suppose. It's feeling serenity and peace of mind.

How was that feedback? :)

That was excellent feedback. I certainly agree that I do have a HP. I am working hard at trying to be satisfied with what I have..and its tough. I was very lucky in my life that I had so many good things happening at so many points in my life and now I am struggling with so little financially, friends, family...everything has been markedly reduced and I wish I could say that I just accept it all graciously but I don't. I moan and groan and can get on the pity pot...but I am really concentrating on gratitude and it is so helpful and it is so easy to be greatful.
Guess I am more ready than I first thought.
Thanks Robin.

I had a HUGE problem with faith, before I found recovery. I'm talking about before I found myself stuck in my addiction. I guess you could say I didn't believe in faith. How sad that seems to me now. Faith. I began to understand faith when my son joined the Army and ended up in Iraq. The whole military experience freaked me out. I'm proud to say he's in the National Guard now. I have a "Military Mom" sticker on our old car, it's still there. I also didn't believe being patriotic, it perplexed me at how patriotic my son truly is. It no longer perplexes me, I found out I do have a patriotic bone in my body ;) Faith. My recovery depends on faith, so guess what...I found faith. A power far, far GREATER than me! I use to believe I was in control of my own destiny, I said we are all Gods. Seems ridiculous to me now, but I don't hate myself for how I figured out things in my life. That was then, this is now. I've discovered you can teach an old dog new tricks...I kinda' always wondered about that one! lol But it's true, change is possible at any dog age! Change is possible and necessary for healthy growth, and happiness, and giving, and taking, and accepting, and declining...change. Faith. A power greater than I am.

What caught my eye in your original post was your use of the word "expect" 5 times.
"Expectations". The idea that I can predict the actions of another person, thing, or institution. (or of God)......and the idea that if I do a certain thing then I can reasonably expect the other guy is going to do a predictable thing in return. (Of course, this may or may not come to pass as I think it will.)
Expectations, I've learned, can be very dangerous things for me to develop. If I hang on to expectations it can lead to disappointments when I don't get what I think I'm going to get, resentments when others don't follow my plan of how things will work out, anger at others for "letting me down".
How does this apply to step two?
Hmmmmmmmm.......let's see....... I pray to God and therefore I can expect that God will give me or do for me whatever I pray for....
not hardly, eh?
I behave in a certain manner and therefore I can realistically expect that things will work out in a certain manner, in return for my efforts..........again, not hardly...... life ain't always fair, bad things sometimes happen to good people.

Actually, Step Two promises me nothing......... it simply states that we have come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
This tells me that while active in my addiction I am insane............ and that others who have tried a solution based on spiritual principles have found relief from that insanity....... and that I believe that I may also find that same relief from insanity.
No deals, no promises, no sudden revalations, no magic bullets, no sudden miracles, no deep philosophical answers to all the mysteries of life, no tit for tat...........no expectations.

That is exactly why I wrote that post. In recovery, some things are spelled out clearly and some are not. I am kind of organized and like to be prepared for what may be coming. I do recognize that expectations usually leave one disappointed...and I hate it when others put expectations on me, usually unrealistic. That is why I question what it is to expect from Step 2.
My best thinking got me to this horrible place and I want to get as far away from this hell as I can reasonably expect to get.
I do believe that I can be restored to sanity...but I was questioning did I have a right to expect, and if so, what.
I must admit to not being religious in any way. However, I do feel very attached to God...I would like to be more connected but as usual I am too lazy to do what is necessary. So thought I would ask others what they thought.
I can't remember who it was but someone told me once that we were given 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth because we are to talk only half as much as we listen and observe.
I appreciate all your comments and your personal wisdom in recovery.
It is so obvious I am "early" in recovery as I am still looking for the shortest, fastest, easiest, most obvious answers...OMG!!!
I will try to develop more faith...it does not come flowing from me unfortunately...sure would be nice to learn something once without the whack of that sledgehammer on my head. LOL
Does seem I am the slowest learner at times. But once I get the concept usually can follow through.
Will try to listen and see more and talk less.
Thanks Mike

Hi Mary.
'When I did a thorough First step.. I knew what I needed to work on daily.. To manage my life as I had become unmanageble. Heck I couldn't do basic tasks without mind chatter.
So I did not do them. and with 'gambling nothing was done as it was put on hold=no time.
With 'the SEcond step..
Came to Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.
I set to do every day tasks. payments 'cleaning 'working and just being responsible to myself with others..
I needed to ask daily 'sometimes many times. A simple Prayer for Guidance as I 'had came to BElieve in a Power (first was my GA group)then a more personal Power.
Daily , instead of sitting and thinking (usual pattern) I got up and kept busy.. PUtting together 'hours..''Accomplishments 'were felt inside.
Creditors satisfied with my payments.. a job to help offset my debt..and my home life slowly started to improve.
This 'set of '12 steps is not 'religious to me.. It is spiritual. Simple 'so Simple .
Religion would have sent me to the Hills as I had so many Rules I had rebelled at..
Spiritual this step.. Simple 'come to Believe that there is a Power 'that 'for me works on 'outside of me.. As I do not know 'what is beyond my understanding.
Faith 'belief is hard..as I was 'blind.
But that is what it is .. blindly following knowing with all the ''education out there and others who went before me (proof in literature of GA.)I knew 'I Would be Okay. All I needed to pay attention to 'was 'focus. ON my Part . my tasks..MY responsibility. Doing instead of sTewing.
Living outside of my Mind..as long as I lived inside my mind 'I' was not alive in the World..
Today I acknowledge a POWER my own personal one.. Sometimes I hear what HE says. as the noise is gone Now. Sometimes it is a messenger.
When I listen. I feel restored.. When I keep busy doing what is on my plate 'reasoning comes. Common sense also.
I wanted my life back , and was given a ''Better LIfe.. All I had to do was Ask.. Reach out.. Get help..and 'it was mine to receive ;but I had to be ''willing, open and honest. It can not be forced as I have learned..as my Will was a Gift.. When I turned it over.. then 'I found a Path to follow. When I am troubled ,, I ask for help..and give it away.. When I leave it alone and trust in my HIGHER POWER 'am to have Faith all will be well.....and all the time I do that 'things happen for the better.
But when I take it back. I get stuck. I played 'HIGHER POWER to myself for so long that my thinking got sick. And gambling came to be for me. it got a foot hold with fun , so my wharped mind told me.
If this was fun 'then standing on an open freeway would be ?? ''pure joy.......lol....
Came to Believe I Did..REstored most days..thinking only gets stinking when left to my own thinking. Sharing my thoughts with 'trusted friends.. I 'receive balance. Sorting out what is mine.....what is not.
Keeping my Eyes on my own fries. Allow others to 'live.....find their own personal HIGHER POWER or ''Recovery which works for them.
I am just a messenger from the abyss I once swam in.
Be well. Sandra gams5